


Oasis between the Present and the Future

by Izaioi



Series: Time is a Place [2]
Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Romance, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-21
Updated: 2018-10-01
Packaged: 2019-05-26 12:22:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 61,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15000803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Izaioi/pseuds/Izaioi
Summary: That Lab was like an oasis. In there he could forget all the anxiety about the present situation and what the future would have in store for them. In there only he and Kokichi existed. And when Kokichi was cuddling with him like this, how could he ever want to leave?For reading this, is necessary to have read From the Past to the Present.





	1. Why can't I understand you?

**Author's Note:**

> Hello friends!  
> This is something I decided to do not because it was necessary but simply because I thought it would make you happy and because this will give a bit of insight on Shuichi and his thoughts during From the Past to the Present.
> 
> So yeah, this is the same story only from Shuichi's POV!  
> Of course I won't rewrite the whole story, only the parts directly connected to their relationship.  
> If you want to make me a happy person you should read this while keeping an eye to the corresponding chapters, they are meant to be read together. I wrote at the start of every chapter the corresponding ones so you don't have to search for them all over the place.  
> Hope you enjoy it! 
> 
> PS: the releasing schedule is not final yet, I may give you some dates on the chapters themselves or even in From the Past to the Present.

(Ch 21 - 23 - 25)

“Anyway, you know that once I’ve seen an anime about a death game? It was quite interesting. The people behind it were manipulating the events to make the people inside believe that everything they were seeing was true! It made me irritated though, they were sooo slow in understanding what was going on! Half of the deaths could have been prevented if only they had observed a bit better!”

Ouma-kun ran away like always. It was almost as if he didn’t think his antics were completed if he didn’t run away at the end.

He was an enigma.

Shuichi had tried to understand him for a very long time, ever since after the second trial to be precise, but he could not figure him out, no matter what. At first, he was a bit worried he was planning to do something bad, when he saw him alone with Gonta, he knew he had to at least try and get him to talk, but in the end he was left there empty-handed. Then the whole Insect Meet and Greet happened and Shuichi had really started to question whatever he was just trying to create chaos for the thrill of it. He had a feeling that if he really wanted to do something bad with the Videos he could have done so easily.

During the second trial, he didn’t suspect him at all, even if there was a bit of room for doubt. For some reason, when he looked at the way Hoshi-kun had died, he thought _, ‘No, this is not something Ouma-kun would do’_. Why he had thought that was still a mystery to that day. He knew nothing about Ouma-kun, maybe he really enjoyed seeing people eaten by piranhas, what kind of proof was there to contradict this hypothesis? None. Maybe Momota… Kaito was really starting to rub off on him. His speech about trust had been a bit awkward to listen to, but Shuichi could not say that he disagreed with him. It had been like that with Akamatsu-san as well. He trusted her; even now, he was still trusted her, even if she was no longer… No, it was better not to think about that again.

This whole resurrection affair had awaken thoughts he was trying to repress. And he didn’t appreciate the fact that Ouma-kun had just implied that he would resurrect her so lightly. Of course, he would want her back, but not by falling into Monokuma’s trap. And why was someone like Ouma-kun, who loved logic, believing in the ritual? He had tried asking, some hours ago, and the Leader just gave him a vague answer that could mean everything or nothing, but something stuck out in that speech of his.

_“I dunno… I mean, there are buildings that pop out of grass, a robot-bear that disappears into thin air and the flashback lights… Maybe resurrection is not that far away, right?”_

Now, he was talking about people controlling things from behind the scenes. That a mastermind was involved somewhere was evident, but the degree of manipulation they were being exposed to was still all to understand. He had promised not to seek out the mastermind anymore, so he was not going to try to decipher that, at least not yet. However, the last part had actually annoyed him a bit.

_“Half of the deaths could have been prevented if only they had observed a bit better!”_

He was _trying!_ What could Ouma-kun know about his feelings? What could he know about the pressure that he was feeling constantly on his shoulders? Mom—Kaito had saved him from being completely discouraged, but it was not like he could find a solution by just _observing a bit better._ If Ouma-kun had the solution, like he was clearly implying, why was he not simply telling everyone?

And why was Shuichi thinking constantly about him, questioning every word that came out of his mouth a million times? The guy was mostly infuriating.

He was an enigma.

The enigma was resting his head on the table in the resting area near the dining room, only a couple hours later.

“Are you okay?” he tried asking, not really sure of what Ouma-kun was doing, he was always super energetic.

The purple eyes found him instantly, he hesitated for only half a second, enough time for Shuichi to see that he had been taken by surprise, but not enough time to formulate a theory on what he was doing and why. Shuichi was sure he was not going to get an answer anytime soon.

“Saihara-chan, let’s have a tea party!” Ouma-kun yelled with his usual cheerful voice.

Just as predicted, he found himself roped into some more nonsense. Ouma-kun ordered him to prepare some tea while he was sitting at the table, exaggerating his antics as usual. Every gesture the little Leader was doing was unnecessarily remarked.

“You’ll be a wonderful wife someday, did someone already told you that? You’re exactly what I need after seeing a cow.” Ouma-kun reached for his cup of tea.

Shuichi had a lot of questions about this sentence. First, why _wife_ exactly? Husband, if anything. Not that he wanted to get married or something right. It was just, he wasn’t female, obviously, and he was going to be a husband even if he was to marry another male. Okay, no, that was a bad question. Secondly, what did he mean by _cow?_ He could guess… actually, he could formulate a solid argument even. All right, maybe that question was better left unspoken as well. However, there was another question… And now was as good a time as ever.

“You do have a theory about what’s going on, don't you? Why don’t you share it with us?”

“What are you talking about? I was just telling a lie! Did I get ya?! Unless you want to join my secret evil organization, I won’t tell you a single truth! How does that sound?! Wanna join?”

Shuichi should have predicted that getting past his act wouldn’t be so easy.

“I’m going to have to decline. I really don’t understand why you can’t cooperate with us normally. You have a good mind and you catch on things quickly, even faster than I do. Why can’t you just help us?”

He was not trying to sugarcoat him or manipulate him, he was being serious. He knew Ouma-kun was just faking ignorance most of the times, his mind was clearly unparalleled.

“It doesn’t work like that, Saihara-chan.” Ouma-kun suddenly got way too serious. “Do you really think that my brain is free of charge? That you can use me in the name of some idiotic feeling like ‘friendship’? Just because everyone is depending on you, it doesn’t mean I’m going to be your underling. If you want my cooperation, you have to earn it and offer me something of equal value too. You have nothing to offer me right now, do you?”

They stared at each other for a long moment. Shuichi was boiling with irritation. _Just because everyone is depending on you it doesn’t mean I’m going to be your underling._ What was he thinking he was doing? Gathering friends? Shuichi was trying to ensure everyone’s survival! He didn’t need any underling, he was not trying to make everyone look up to him, he was not after any kind of prize! He didn’t what Ouma-kun’s brain ‘free of charge’ he wanted to cooperate with him! The more people thinking together, the better the result. Kokichi was a very active part of the trials and if they could work together toward the same goal instead of him just trying to slow the process, they could get to the culprit so much easier! And even outside of the trial… Ouma-kun knew something about the situation, supposedly at least, why couldn’t he just tell anyone? Shuichi was not going to take the merit for his deduction! He was just an apprentice; he didn’t have any pride in his detective work. If anything, he would gladly let Ouma-kun take his spot anytime. If only he could get the little Leader to cooperate…

“Ah, after taking this refreshing break and seeing your beautiful face I’m all energized again! I’m going to go and pester someone else now, bye bye Saihara-chan!”

And he ran away just like that. Shuichi stared at his cup for a long time, irritation letting its place over disappointment. This would be so much easier if he could get him as an ally. Why was Ouma-kun so stubborn on this? Or maybe it was Shuichi’s fault. Maybe he didn’t understand how to communicate with him properly. Maybe, he had done something wrong. Ouma-kun was being difficult with everyone and not just him. Yes, probably they were just looking at him from the wrong angle. Maybe he had to try a different approach.

Ouma-kun was an enigma.

An enigma that was present when he really shouldn’t be.

“Wow, is this a party? Iruma-chan is in her Lab, Shinguji is drowning himself in his books, you two are wandering around… The Student Council really is rubbish at maintaining discipline, isn’t it?!”

Shuichi and Harukawa-san were trying to talk to Chabashira-san about Yonaga-san and Ouma-kun just had to make the Aikido master even less friendly.

“You are no better. No, you’re the worse, you lying degenerate! Go away, no one wants you here! Go to your room and sleep!” she yelled at him.

“You wound me!” Ouma-kun faked some tears, one of his favorite trick. “I was just being friendly!”

 _Friendly._ That word struck him totally in the wrong way. _Now_ he was being friendly? What about earlier, when Shuichi asked him to cooperate? Could he not be friendly then? He refused to look at him. Showing his irritation was not going to help his cause later.

Ouma-kun left. He didn’t waste too much time being _friendly_ did he?

So why was he offering himself volunteer for the séance that Shinguji-kun wanted to hold? Why was he offering volunteer for everyone, _except for him?_ He had no idea why this was affecting him so much, but it was just so infuriating! Kokichi could help him, right here and now, with the investigation of Yonaga-chan’s body, but instead he was going to hang around the others doing a pointless chore. What was he thinking?

For a moment, their eyes met and Shuichi could almost see that Ouma-kun had a question in mind, but then he broke eye contact and volunteered Kiibo-kun. He just looked at them disappear around the corner feeling somewhat defeated.

“Well? Shall we investigate?” Harukawa-san was getting impatient already.

He better forget all about Ouma-kun and do his job carefully. Or at the very least that worked until Ouma-kun picked up the book for the séance in Shinguji-kun’s Lab and started reading out loud. Interested, Shuichi walked up to see the book for himself when Ouma-kun invited him to the séance. Shuichi’s mind split in half. He had to complete the investigation, it was important, yet he wanted to go and see this séance too. The fact that Ouma-kun had volunteered could be an indication that this was going to be much more important than he first thought. Harukawa-san told him to go and Shuichi accepted, happy to have the excuse for not making the decision himself. Surely, this was going to be important, if Ouma-kun was so interested, it surely had to be.

When had he started to consider Ouma-kun’s opinion to be so relevant?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally planning to release this a little bit later but I realized that today is Kokichi's birthday!  
> I had to give him a present of some kind! <3


	2. How nedlessly complicated

(Ch 27 – 31)

Ouma Kokichi was surely one of the most complicated person he had ever encountered.

Why he had decided to lie on the floor with his head wound instead of just asking for help was a mystery. Or maybe it wasn’t, he never asked for help with anything. Right there, at the moment Shuichi had reacted in the wrong way. He had just finished investigate the scene of the crime where Chabashira-san was killed and seeing him on the floor had made his heart leap out of his chest. Seeing him on the floor like that had been absolutely disconcerting, Ouma-kun was the type of person you would never expect to die. He looked immortal, ethereal, like a ghost. Yes, Ouma-kun looked just like a ghost. Something that if you try to touch your hand would just pass through.

He never thought about worrying about him, since he never thought someone could kill him. Instead, someone had killed him. The realization made him feel extremely terrible. He was worrying about many people, like Yumeno-san for example, yet he never once felt worried about Ouma-kun. Ouma-kun was immortal; he was perfectly capable of handling himself.

When he had started to consider him infallible?

Ouma-kun was just a human being, there were surely times when he was scared, hurt, worried and in danger. Why Shuichi had been so sure he didn’t need anyone? He had always thought that a potential collaboration would help himself, not Ouma-kun. Ouma-kun didn’t need any help. Why he had been so sure about that? Seeing him on the floor made him realize his mistake, he should have worried about him when he had the chance, now it was too late.

Or, it _would_ have been to late if Ouma-kun had actually been dead.

He was not dead, just frustrating like usual. He was just messing around.

Shuichi had reacted in the wrong way; now that the trial had ended, he realized that. In the moment, he almost got mad at him for making him so worried and scared. He immediately dismissed everything as a charade, so he stopped worrying about him entirely. Ouma-kun shouldn’t have messed around. However, his injury was real; Shuichi should have asked him how he was feeling. A head wound could be really dangerous, he may even have a concussion.

During the trial Ouma-kun looked energetic and annoying as usual, so Shuichi easily forgot all about the injury. Now that he was in his room, trying to sleep, his head started to replay the events and thoughts about what he should’ve done. He had realized that Ouma-kun could need help like any other person and then he just forgot what he had discovered. What a genius. He needed to see if Ouma-kun was doing alright, but now it was late. He couldn’t bother him at this hour… Right?

What if he was going to die during the night and this was his entire fault for not realizing that Ouma-kun needed help?

Shuichi stood in front of Ouma-kun’s door for a long time, but he could not muster the courage to knock. It was already one in the morning, it was a bad idea to wake him up right now, Ouma-kun surely needed to sleep and recover. Right, this was the best idea. He was going to talk to him first thing in the morning. Right. He convinced himself.

Everything involving Ouma-kun was complicated.

Including why he had to make everything more complicated for everyone and steal the card key. He spent the whole morning exploring the school and he had the little Leader and liar on his mind the entire time. Where he had disappeared to? What was he doing with that card key? He had thought about checking the library with that card key, but he was pretty sure that it could not be for that door, it was too obvious and the mastermind wouldn’t just give it away. And now, he couldn’t check at all.

He wanted to talk with Ouma-kun, he wanted to try the key together in the library, and he wanted to explore the new areas together, just like last time. At the very least now, he was sure he was okay; he was most definitely not dead.

He saw Ouma-kun again a bit later; he was hiding behind the shrine of judgment. He didn’t know why, but for some reason Shuichi felt a strange feeling seeing Ouma-kun hiding in such a childish way. He looked so… vulnerable. Almost as if something had thrown him off balance and now, he was trying to cover for the weakness he had shown. He was surely over thinking this, he had seen Ouma-kun weak once and now he was seeing weaknesses everywhere.

He decided to ignore him for the time being and explore Kiibo-kun’s Lab. Inside, he and Iruma-san started to talk about upgrades and Kiibo-kun refused the Lab saying he’d rather have a traditional Japanese themed room. Maybe it was because the conversation was a bit boring and he was not interested in what they were saying, but he really wanted to leave and see if Ouma-kun was still hiding behind the shrine.

And, he was.

“Oh, my beloved Saihara-chan! Fancy meeting you here, right?” Ouma-kun said a little too enthusiastically, even for him.

This was such an obvious lie, well Ouma-kun was a liar, but this lie was not even near the level of complex he was normally spouting, this was a pretty pitiful one. Both the content and the delivery were very, very weak.

_Wait, beloved?_

What was he doing hiding there anyways? Was this because of the card key or because he wanted to see the new places, but couldn’t approach anyone after that morning’s incident? As always, his motivations were too complicated to understand.

“If you wanted to see Kiibo’s Lab, you could have just come with us, you know?” Shuichi was sure he knew, but to remind him that he was welcome to join them was still a good thing. “Anyway, I wanted to talk to you. Are you okay?”

“What?” that clearly caught him by surprise.

“I mean…” he scratched his head a little. “You hit your head, didn’t you? Earlier, I didn’t pay any attention to it because, well honestly, you caught me so off guard that I completely forgot the most sensible thing to do… And you shouldn’t have joked about it…” he shook his head again with a sigh. “But I’m sorry, were you okay? You’re kinda… acting strange today.”

Shuichi was pretty sure he was not going to give an honest answer and he was right.

“Saihara-chan! Since you are so worried about me, you will die for me so that I can go to the hospital, right?!” he did his strange pose with his hands closed as fists and his eyes were sparkling.

Shuichi sighed deeply. He knew that Kokichi would not just come out and say ‘yeah, my head hurt, but I think I’m okay now, thank you for your concern’ or something like this. Still, this was not an answer at all. He just brushed off the subject.

“Why is it that I can’t ever have a serious conversation with you?” he shook his head once again. “I was really worried, you know. There’s no reason to make jokes, I wasn’t lying, you can trust me.”

“Let’s have a serious battle then! This time we will fight to decide which of us will survive! This world is not big enough for both of us!” Ouma-kun yelled even louder. “It’s a battle of life and death sooo, we gotta play rock-paper-scissors!”

Rock-paper-scissor had nothing to do with a life and death game, but more importantly, for the first time Shuichi thought he had understood something. Ouma-kun was usually more coherently responsive to negativity. When Kaito was shouting at him, that was when Ouma-kun was made the most sense. Instead, the more Shuichi was trying to talk to him in a positive and friendly way, the more illogical he would become. Was this the problem? Ouma-kun didn’t like being treated positively? That didn’t make much sense. In any case, surely playing along with him was better than trying to get an answer out of him at all costs. If he played along Ouma-kun would spend more time with him, otherwise he would just run away.

They tied.

And they tied.

And again.

And again.

What was even going on?! Why were they tying every time? Was something like this even possible?

Looking at his face, he saw Ouma-kun making ridiculous expressions but they were clearly fake, it was clearly evident that he was having a lot of fun at his expense.

“Saihara-chan?! Stop this! It’s the bijillion time we have played!! I’m getting bored!! Just finish it already!!” he yelled on top of his lungs.

“It’s not my fault!! I’m not doing it on purpose!!” he answered out of pure instinct, looking up at him again.

The expression Ouma-kun was making made him pause and hold his breath. Ouma-kun was smiling, and that in itself was nothing special, but his smile was… Normally Ouma-kun’s smiles were either out of silliness, maliciousness, superiority or were simply a lie. But this smile was… open, bright and _honest._ This was no lie. On his cheeks were two pink spots, a faint sign of a blush. He was honestly having _fun._ Shuichi just stared at him, completely lost. He wanted to just look at him, because right now, he was quite _cute._

“Do you know Saihara-chan, there is a way to get infinite ties on this game…” there it was again, one of those smiles of superiority.

“Did you…?” Shuichi tried to read him.

“No way!” he yelled. “This was all thanks to your luck! Looks like you will live a little longer! Bye, Saihara-chan!”

So, it was true. Ouma-kun knew how to play so well that he could tie as many times as he wanted. He stared at his scissors shaped hand. Wasn’t this proof that he was dragging the game on purpose, because he was having fun playing with him? Ouma-kun, when he was having fun, had a really cute smile…

_He wanted to see it more often._

But, he didn’t get to see it anytime soon. The next morning Ouma-kun was very, very quiet. He was eating his breakfast in a corner of the table, away from everyone else. He was not listening to anyone or responding to anything in any way. It was not like anyone was actually talking to him, but normally he was inviting himself to any conversation. Just butting into things, only to pester people. Shuichi could not really focus on any conversation; he was too busy observing him.

Ouma-kun didn’t say a single word the entire meal, making Shuichi have a bad feeling. He even left the room without a sound, looking so out of it that he didn’t even notice that Shuichi got up as well. He reassured Kaito that everything was fine and followed him out of the dining room. He tried to call for him, but Ouma-kun didn’t give any sign of hearing him. He observed him, while he was entering the warehouse and searching something through the shelves. He was going through all the medical supplies. Shuichi felt his heart tighten; there was something wrong with Ouma-kun after all!

“Ouma-kun? What are you searching for? You didn’t even stop when I called you and you didn’t notice that I was following you. Do you have a concussion? Are you feeling sick?” he grabbed a bottle from him to get his attention and tried to stay calm.

Ouma-kun looked like he had just snapped out of a trance.

“Nope! I was searching for a painkiller because the next game we are going to play will be painful!” he tried to sound cheerful, but Shuichi was not buying it.

He felt irritation grow. Once again, he was rejecting his help in favor of doing something potentially stupid. He was clearly sick, couldn’t he just accept help?

“Ouma-kun, if you need a painkiller just say so, I can help you-“

“No, no! You don’t get it! Here, I’m starting the game, you’ll go next okay?”

Ouma-kun took a knife off the shelf and started to play the knife game. Shuichi’s alarm spiked, he wanted to grab his wrist and stop him but he couldn’t, what if he would accidentally make him lose focus and really hurt himself? Why was Ouma-kun so stubborn, this was the worst idea ever!

“Ow!” blood spilled from one of Ouma-kun’s long fingers.

Shuichi grabbed him and forced him to stop immediately. He ignored him as he tried to take his hand back and made some excuses as always.

“Now shut up and stay put!” he said, not really caring if it came out a little too forceful.

His heart was beating fast and his fingers were trembling slightly as he tried his very best to treat him. Ouma-kun was unexpectedly calm and accepting, even when he forced him to take a painkiller. At some point, he even started that ridiculous laugh of his. Shuichi felt like he was going to get a headache with all these scares, but he was feeling a bit happy too. Ouma-kun was actually letting him help and he looked pretty happy about it. The guy was so complicated.

“You think that this will work?”

“Yep! It’s perfect! Thank you, my beloved Saihara-chan! You were so worried about me! Now, I’ve stolen your heart, I don’t need to steal your life anymore. You’ll never,  _ever,_ be able to forget me!” Ouma-kun gifted him with the same smile from last time.

Shuichi started to feel very, very warm inside. _Now, I’ve stolen your heart. You’ll never, ever, be able to forget me!_ True, and for once Ouma-kun had stated the truth. There was no way Shuichi was ever going to forget this little gremlin. He was just… too special. And when he was smiling like this, he was just…

“Stop messing with me…” he tried to stop his mind from getting completely out of control.

He was messing with his mind and feelings way too much. He shouldn’t call him _beloved_ and talk about _stealing hearts_ if he didn’t really mean it. He didn’t want to _get his hopes up._

“No way! Messing with you is the funniest thing ever!” Ouma-kun was just making fun of him, of course.

“So you admit that you were messing with me!” his mind and heart were fighting.

“Well, that was a lie, ‘cause I’m a liar! You’re actually boring, bye!” Ouma-kun stuck his tongue at him.

No, _that_ was the lie. And Shuichi didn’t even need to think about it. It was evident. Ouma-kun enjoyed spending time with him. Even then, Ouma-kun would never actually say what his real feelings were.

Why did he always had to make things so needlessly complicated?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And so Shuichi's desperate struggle to get closer the little liar started.
> 
> Next chapter on July 3rd.


	3. Are we ever going to be friends?

(Ch 37 )

So, Ouma-kun appreciated being helped, but only on his terms.

This discovery made Shuichi happy. So there was a way to interact on positive terms with Ouma-kun, he just had not found out what it was yet. He returned to his room for the night, his mind still filled with the little liar. He still made excuses that he needed Ouma-kun’s cooperation to survive, but he knew that this was not the only reason for his eagerness to understand him better. Shuichi had seen proof of his intelligence some time ago, but his strange and frustrating personality had prevented him from seeing anything else he could like in him. Now that he had saw this playful and cute side, he wanted to spend time with him, not only as an ally, but also possibly as a friend.

He knew that normally, it was said to befriend people who accepted you for who you were and not because you were being who they wanted you to be, but… Shuichi wanted to at least try to become someone Ouma-kun would like. He was not going to put up a façade, like the liar was doing, but he could try and meet him half-way. In the end, there was nothing bad in being a little more carefree, right? Everyone was always calling him gloomy, even back home. Since his father and mother were famous, he was often subject of curiosity and gossip, but he always ended up disappointing everyone. Shuichi was not social, confident in himself, bright or even funny. He was only an awkward adolescent that was mostly ignored except when he assumed his detective role. Even people at school soon forget about his parents and stated to describe him as ‘the detective’.

Ouma-kun was a first. He was the first person that ever made him want to change himself.

Shuichi went to bed feeling happy and optimistic; he was going to do his best to become Ouma-kun’s friend.

When he reached the dining room, something was happening. Gonta was proposing to fight with Monokuma personally. Shuichi chose to sit next to Ouma-kun, hoping to have a word with him when the argument with Gonta was over. Ouma-kun didn’t look at him, he was too focused on what was happening and when he decided to take part in  it Shuichi immediately sensed that this was going to go out of hand.

“Even if you destroy him and the Exisals, the killing game won’t end.” Ouma-kun abandoned his breakfast and stood at the center of the room. “Actually, why would you want to stop the killing game? It’s just starting to get to the good part! You guys are just a bunch of cowards! Don’t tell me… you guys aren’t confident enough to win the game? Well, in my case I’m full of confidence! I’ll win this game no matter what!” he crossed his arms looking sassy.

“Are you planning to become the next blackened then?” asked Harukawa-san, annoyed.

“Me…? The next blackened? Yeah, sure, if I can win that way, then why not?”

Shuichi felt irritation fill him again. Not because he believed what Ouma-kun was saying, he was pretty sure he was lying, but because he was making himself hateful on purpose. Why did he always have do that?

“Are you being serious?” he asked, trying to make him understand that he was crossing the line.

“Of course! Games are only fun when you take them seriously, right? So c’mon guys! Let’s enjoy this more! It’s not every day you get to play a killing game!” Ouma-kun’s voice became childish. “Sooo, who want to be the next victim?! The game can’t go on if no one dies, so someone kill already! If you don’t do anything, then I’ll have to kill someone instead! Just like I promised, okay?!”

“That’s enough!!” Kaito’s shout filled the room and he sprinted forward towards Ouma-kun with his fist ready.

When it connected with Ouma-kun’s cheek, Shuichi winced, as if he had been the one that had been hit.

 “Kokichi?! What’s gotten into you?! You were messed up to begin with, but this is a whole new level of weird! If you keep acting like this… I’m gonna knock your senses back into you!!”

Shuichi stared at Ouma-kun’s face frozen in place. The liar didn’t say anything at all, standing still. He wondered if he was too shocked to act. He was often annoying, but until now, no one actually hurt him for it, well, excluding Harukawa-san, but that was a bit different. Shuichi stared at him in silence, while the others were concluding the conversation and Iruma-san was saying something about having an idea. Kokichi left the dining room without saying anything else.

Now that the shock from the punch had disappeared, Shuichi still felt bad for him, but looking at this objectively, he kinda asked for it. However, at the same time, saying any aloud would be counterproductive. One thing he had understood was that Ouma-kun would not appreciate being scolded. He decided to try to talk to him and see how he was feeling now.

“Ouma-kun, wait a minute.” he called him.

“Oh, Saihara-chan! What do you want, my favorite Detective?” Ouma-kun tried to smile, but his cheek probably hurt as he grimaced, dropping the act immediately.

He had no idea how to approach the subject and right now, he didn’t want to be very accommodating with him since he didn’t want to give him the impression that he was okay with what he said. He didn’t want Ouma-kun to think that he was welcome to keep acting like this.

“Are you okay?”

He should have probably done something else if he really wanted an answer, for example, inviting him to play some game and then asking while playing, but that was for another time. When they were in a better mood. He was okay with giving up an answer right now, in order to stand for his beliefs.

“Of course I’m okay! What, this?” he pointed at his cheek and then shrugged. “Momota-chan’s punches are really weak, you know! He is all bark and no bite, even during training, right? He always finds an excuse to not do anything!”

Okay, no. Ouma-kun was clearly in a difficult mood right now. He had to understand that he was not going to accept him insulting Kaito, or anyone else. There were limits to what Shuichi was willing to accept to get along with Ouma-kun and he had to understand them.

“Really. Well, I think you kinda deserved that.”

“Of course you think I did.” Ouma-kun whispered. He had a serious expression for once. “I’m not allowed to talk about your precious friend, right?”

“There are times when I wonder if this is your true self. Because if it is, I don’t think I like it.”

Ouma-kun was not going to make him feel in the wrong and flip the blame on him. He was being mean and Shuichi would not allow him.

“Good thing that I don’t like you either, then!” he tried to sound cheerful but failed; his tone had a certain edge on it. Like he was trying to hurt him on purpose.“I can finally stop putting up with you then. Right?”

 _Putting up with him?_ Did he see him as something annoying? Had he misunderstood when he thought Ouma-kun was having fun with him? He felt a deep anger and irritation growing in him, it was completely out of proportion for what was actually happening, but there was nothing he could do about it.

“Right. It’s really a good thing.”

He tried to put as much strength in that sentence as he could. He tried to hurt Ouma-kun back just as much as he was feeling hurt.

Shuichi left him behind and searched for a place to be alone. He didn’t want to see anyone right now. He thought about going to Akamatsu-san’s Lab, but then he felt strange. It was like he was going to go to a place that she surely would have loved to vent his frustration towards another person, instead of going there to mourn and remember her. Feeling guilty, he completely abandoned the idea. If he was going in her Lab, he wanted to do it to honor her memory, not to think about someone else. An annoying liar nonetheless!

Climbing the stairs made him feel a bit tired and so his anger was slowly dissipating. He reached the fourth floor and stopped, unsure of what he was actually trying to do. The next floor was just his Lab and Shirogane-san’s Lab. He didn’t want to go there. But at the same time he didn’t want to hang out on this creepy floor. He was about to descend the stairs again when he remembered what happened in that same hallway. The lingering of his anger disappeared as he replayed that scene in his mind. He sighed, now that he thought about it, he never checked the place Ouma-kun hit his head. Was the floorboard repaired or it was still cut down? He entered the closest empty room and carefully searched for the right floorboard. He found it almost at the center of the room, it was still in balance and dangerous. Maybe he should mark it somehow. He wondered why Monokuma didn’t repair that while cleaning up.

He sat down on the floor staring at the floorboard. He was feeling a bit stupid, and he was glad that Kaito was nowhere to be seen. Ouma-kun’s blood was nowhere to be seen either. So Monokuma cleaned that out, but didn’t repair the crosspiece, maybe he was hoping that someone would end up dead, so that was why he cleaned the blood, so no one would be able to identify it.

He had exaggerated. He didn’t want Ouma-kun to completely walk all over him and just think he could get away with everything, but to tell him he didn’t want to hang out with him anymore? That was too much. He was absolutely sure that Ouma-kun was had fun playing around with him the last few days, today… there was just something wrong with him. He was more annoying than usual and more serious than usual. Normally Ouma-kun would garnish everything with ton of stupid jokes or lies, but not this time. The aura around him had been different today. Shuichi didn’t know enough about Ouma-kun, maybe something bad had happened to him or he was still feeling sick. He had reacted way too strongly, he should had ignored his charade, rather than making him go down with an even heavier hand on it. Yes, that had to be a charade. Shuichi had no idea why he was so insistent on making everyone hate him, but there may have been something to that.

He remained in the room for a bit longer, then he just went to spend some time with everyone, he would try to talk with Ouma-kun the next day. He spent some time with Kaito and Harukawa-san, training and talking, after that, he went back to his room and tried to sleep.

Tried and failed.

He was lying on his bed feeling irritated. He remembered having problems with sleep immediately after the first trial; he could not stop his mind from replaying the trial. The execution. Akamatsu-san’s moments with him before the time limit. After Kaito started to drag him to training, he had a lot less trouble, but he was felt almost the same right now.

Thinking more about this, he realized that what he was feeling right now, was not exactly the same, but it was related. Shuichi was again feeling the weight of everyone’s lives on his shoulder. Seeing Ouma-kun being punched had reminded him that anyone could die at any moment. There was no more time to hesitate. He needed to act a bit more mature and get past Ouma-kun’s antics. He was still not going to accept him insulting anyone, but he needed to stop putting so much thought into what he was doing all the time. He had decided to trust him, to think he was actually playing on their side.

For that reason he needed to get his own act straight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter July 7.


	4. Teamwork is the best option, right?

(Ch 39 – 43 – 45)

“Ah…”

Ouma-kun turned his back to him and started to descend the stairs he was previously climbing.

“Wait! Wait Ouma-kun! Wait a moment; I want to apologize for yesterday. I lost my composure. Wait, Ouma-kun, I’m telling you to wait!”

Ouma-kun kept ignoring him and continued walking away. Shuichi called him a couple more times and then tried to reach for his arm with his hand, but stopped before he could touch him. He didn’t know why, but he had felt like touching him was almost something forbidden. What if his hand would really pass through? Of course, that was stupid; he had already touched his hand before.

“I thought we were not going to put up with each other anymore?” Ouma-kun turned to face him with a scary grin.

Shuichi observed his face, looking beyond his act. Was he trying to scare him? To send him away? Why?

“But that is a lie, isn’t it?” he said, calmly, feeling like he needed to prove something. And he needed to apologize as well. “I’m sorry, I’m tired. I snapped at you without really wanting to. I don’t know what you were trying to do, why you said all that stuff… But, I trust you. I’ve understood that you would not truly hurt anyone. You just have a bad way of expressing yourself, right?”

Ouma-kun took a moment too long to answer. It was almost like he was unsure how to handle this since Shuichi was not reacting in the way he wanted him to. This confirmed his theory that Ouma-kun was actually trying to scare him off.

 “You don’t know that. I’m the type that would do anything for fun!” Ouma-kun was still grinning, but his face was a bit too still.

Saihara-chan kept staring at him firmly. Waiting for him to drop the act. Once he would realized that this act would not work on him, what would he do?

“Well, I have a lot of work to do, Saihara-chan, see you later!”

He was going to run away. Obvious answer. Shuichi watched him leave without trying to follow. He had a feeling Ouma-kun needed some space right now. Now his theory was finally confirmed. Ouma-kun was not trying to hurt anyone; he was just keeping a façade up to convince everyone to stay away from him. The proof of that was that he immediately gave up once Shuichi didn’t back away. Exactly why he wanted to be alone all the time was still a mystery, but Shuichi had seen it. He had seen him having fun. He didn’t actually hate everyone like he was trying to make them think. Shuichi was going to find a way past his defense. He tried to tell himself that he was doing so for Ouma-kun’s sake or to make him help with the Killing Game but… the reality was that he simply wanted to get closer to him.

The next chance to spend some time together was not what Shuichi was expecting.

They were baited inside a virtual world by the joined effort of Monokuma, Ouma-kun and Iruma-san. He had no idea why Ouma-kun had insisted so much about going into this program, but one thing was clear: This was some kind of trap. The problem was that he was not capable to disconcert whatever the trap was for them, or for Iruma-san. Ouma-kun was too in control of the situation for be the one the trap was directed at.

Iruma-san appointed the roles and then dropped the bridge that was connected the two sides of the map. They entered the mansion and everyone separated and went off in different directions. He was appointed to the kitchen and he was not happy about it. He was trapped; the only way out of the kitchen was to get past the dining room, past Shirogane-san. It was not like he wanted to sneak out. But, the problem was that where he was assigned, he had no possibility whatsoever to see what was happening. He had a bad feeling about the situation and to be trapped in this blind spot made him even more anxious. If he was in the dining room, he could at least see outside of the window and keep an ear to the hallway. Well, he was not sure sound passed through the walls and the doors was part of the program, he couldn’t leave it open.

What was worse was the position of Ouma-kun. He was assigned to the saloon, where the phone, the only way out of the virtual world was. There were several possibilities that could be a problem. The more obvious was the fact that he could leave the world without anyone knowing. That was a huge problem… If something bad were to happen, Ouma-kun would be the first suspect. The second possibility was that Ouma-kun could indeed leave without permission and do something while the others were still inside. Considering the fact that he was trying to convince everyone to enter the program, that possibility was very likely. He had no idea what Ouma-kun could want to do while they were all connected, surely not kill someone. That would be stupid. The third possibility was that someone could do something to Ouma-kun to get access to the phone. He felt uneasy about Iruma-san’s strange behavior.

When Shirogane-san joined him to tell him that there was nothing useful anywhere, he really started to feel impatient. Since there was nothing, he could go away, right? But at the same time he didn’t want to overreact and act suspiciously, so he remained where he was, listening absentmindedly to Shirogane’s chatting. A loud noise interrupted them and he sprinted out of dining room, into the hallway. He was almost tempted to enter the saloon and check on Ouma-kun, but Kiibo-kun’s voice distracted him and he decided to stop putting his personal emotions into things and do what he had to.

When he left the mansion, he met Gonta and he was happy to see that he was okay, he was even happier to see that Ouma-kun was okay, when he joined them at the river. It was Ouma-kun who solved the problem of the dropped bridge. He had found the dropped sign nestled on a rock in the river. Shuichi ran back with the sign, he was starting to feel dread, he had a feeling that something bad had happened to Iruma-san, the others were implying that much. When they were all reunited, they ran to the saloon and started to leave one by one. He was about to leave, when Ouma-kun called up to him.

“Hey, hey! You are really useful, you know that? I’ve changed my mind, why don’t we cooperate? I think that we can make a good team! Together, we can save everyone!”

Shuichi stared at him for a moment, trying to read his mind. Of course, this worked very poorly since his avatar face was not very expressive. A part of him was happy, very happy, that he had offered his cooperation, finally. The other part was getting annoyed again; it was like he was offering only as a joke and not seriously. He wanted to talk with him about this in detail, but now he had to join the others in the real world. They could talk about teaming up in the real world, surely.

“Now it’s really not the time, Ouma-kun.” he answered before logging out.

When he left the virtual world, his suspicion was confirmed.

Iruma-san was dead.

When the investigation started, Kaito and Ouma-kun started to bicker nonsensically, about who should work with him.

“No way! Saihara-chan is the most reliable here; I can’t let him stay with the primary suspect like this!” Ouma-kun yelled. “It’s Saihara-chan’s time to shine, stop being a leech!”

“Are you trying to say that he would protect me?! Don’t screw around! Shuichi is the type of person to see this kind of thing through! I believe in him!” Kaito was yelling as well.

“You really love to believe, don’t you? This belief can be turned against you, you know?”

“Tsk, whatever! If you are gonna get so worked up about this, then I guess I won’t team up with him. C’mon Shuichi! Clear my name with your own logic!” Kaito gave him a thumbs up.

Shuichi really felt like a coward right now. He could’ve helped Kaito get the upper hand in the argument or he could have tried to convince somehow Ouma-kun and Kaito to both cooperate, but no… He remained silent, letting Ouma-kun win easily. If there was something Shuichi was sure of, it was the fact that Ouma-kun would always win in an argument against Kaito, as much he liked the Astronaut, there was no doubt. The truth was that Shuichi could spend as much time as he wanted with Kaito, but Ouma-kun was another matter entirely. He had offered himself to work with him and that was a very, very rare offer. He had to take it now, to convince him that he was worth teaming up with. If this investigation were going to go well, maybe he would consider the possibility of working with him again in the future.

Of course, assuming Ouma-kun wasn’t the culprit.

But that was a problem for later. Of course, even the fact that the reason why he was so desperate to work with him had little to do with logical reasons anymore was a problem for later.

In any event, teamwork was clearly the best option.

When Ouma-kun booted up his Monopad to look at the Monokuma File N4, he decided to make his intention clear. He could have, of course, booted up his own Monopad, but why do that when he could just read it from Ouma-kun’s hands? Of course, he could not let that slide without teasing him.

“Wow, looks like I’m replacing Momota-chan here! I’m the new assistant!” Ouma-kun yelled in his ears. “Hey, hey, Momota-chan! Look how easy it’s for me to replace you!”

“Stop that.” he tried to scold him, he didn’t want to make Kaito even more annoyed.

If Shuichi could succeed in making Ouma-kun cooperate, there would be a moment the three of them had to work together. It was best to not make Kaito even more unwilling to work with the little Leader. Shuichi tried to examine the body, but Ouma-kun interrupted him.

“Eww, what an ugly face! She must have suffered a lot! A fitting death for this vulgar bitch.”

Shuichi stared at him trying to convey the message wordlessly and it somehow worked.

“I wonder what the cause of death is, it’s not written in the file…” he tried to focus again, now that Ouma-kun was shutting up.

While he was trying to collect evidence, Ouma-kun was trying to pester everyone, luckily his stare seem to do the trick as Ouma-kun was actually stopping every time. It was a bit odd, but still an improvement, he guessed.

Talking with everyone with Ouma-kun by his side was a really painful chore. The guy was annoying everyone and making them jump completely off topic. He still got his hands on a lot of clues, but they made him even more confused. It felt like he was missing some important piece of information about the virtual world. He had a feeling he need to go back into that world soon. But first, his eyes were attracted by a little bottle on a chair. Ouma-kun beat him to it, he grabbed it and started to play around with it, before throwing it at him.

“This is yours, Saihara-chan!”

“Ouma-kun, don’t throw important clues around please!” he scolded him. “What do you mean mine?”

“It’s a poison from your Lab!” he smiled cheerfully.

“Why do you know about it? You really love to act suspicious, don’t you?” Saihara-chan sighed.

“Of course, I am a Supreme Leader of evil and stuff! Anyway, I’ve checked everything in this school, nothing can escape my gaze! Why would I not investigate something that screams murder weapon?!” he yelled.

“All right, all right, you are right, I suppose.”

Shuichi sighed looking annoyed but he was actually feeling positively elated.

Ouma-kun was working with him like a real teammate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter 11 of July.


	5. What are you not telling me?

(Ch 45 – 47 – 49)

“So,” Ouma-kun interrupted him while he was reading, “am I doing a good job? Am I hired? Can I be your partner forever?”

“We will see about that, the important part is during the trial, help me there and I can think about it.” Shuichi smiled, knowing that Ouma-kun would appreciate it much more to be teased, than to just be acknowledged. He had already tried this tactic many times and he had failed. “Anyway, why is this on your seat?”

This was a very good question. And he really hoped Ouma-kun would actually answer and not try to mess with him like usual.

“Uhh, the Detective is doubting me, I’m so scared!” he faked some tears and obviously didn’t answer his question.

“No, I don’t particularly doubt you. At the very least, I know for a fact that you are too intelligent to just leave this thing here in the open. If you were to commit a crime I’m sure I would need a whole team of Detectives to solve it.”

He tried again with this tactic, the answer from before was not an actual result of what he was expecting. He needed more proof before changing his tactic. Ouma-kun’s reaction was weird, it was almost as if he wanted to say something, but then got confused and stopped. It was a very odd reaction and strangely sincere too. It could mean anything, but Shuichi decided to take it as him not knowing anything about the poison.

 “Alright, I guess that this means you have no idea. You should try to be a little nicer. Clearly someone here is trying to put the blame on you.”

Ouma-kun reacted even more weirdly. He actually broke eye contact and looked away. Shuichi started to get a bad feeling from all this, it was suspiciously similar to an admission of guilt. But at the same time, it was true that this move was too obvious, it couldn’t come from him. Leaving the poison problem for later, he decided he had all he needed from the real world and he needed to look at the real scene of the crime in the virtual world. He explained to Ouma-kun and automatically assumed he would follow, so he got confused when his answer was not what he was expecting.

“Okay, have fun!” Ouma-kun waved a hand at him comically.

“You’re not coming? Why?” he was starting to act really strange.

“Nah, I need to make sure that Momota-chan’s girlfriend here doesn’t do anything to you while you are defenseless, she may kill you in your sleep to save her beloved! Don’t worry, with me as your bodyguard, nothing bad will happen!” he was smiling in that silly way which marked everything he was saying as a lie.

“Stop being ridiculous. Let’s go, there are still things that I don’t understand.”

Ouma-kun was just playing hard to get.

“Yeah, have fun!” he repeated, not moving an inch.

Or not.

“You’re really not coming?” Ouma-kun shook his head in silence. It was such an odd and uncharacteristical reaction that Shuichi felt anxiety in his stomach. “Are you feeling unwell?”

Maybe his head was hurting again?

“Go away mom! I don’t need another mom, Toujo-chan is best mom!” he yelled too loudly and obnoxiously, clearly signaling that he didn’t want to change his mind no matter what.

Shuichi gave up and went inside the virtual world with the others. He examined the scene where Iruma-san’s avatar was lying, with Kaito chatting in his ears, complaining about Ouma-kun. Apparently, he had waited for the little Leader to be out of hearing reach to chat again with him, like nothing had happened. Shuichi felt a bit like a kindergarten teacher when those two were involved. Surprisingly, Kaito was not the only one that was waiting for the liar to be out of hearing range, Kiibo-kun immediately approached Shuichi once Kaito was gone.

“Saihara-san, I wanted to say something…” he sounded reluctant. “I noticed that you are hanging out with Ouma-kun a lot lately…” Shuichi felt like he was being personally attacked for some reason. “But I needed to say that Ouma-kun and Iruma-san were supposed to meet on the roof…”

Shuichi thought about Kiibo-kun’s words for a long time. It was almost like his friend was losing some trust in him because he was hanging out with Ouma-kun. That thought was making him very irritated, he had the right to hang out with whoever he wanted.

Once he left the virtual world, Harukawa-san informed him of a lot of details about the Neo World Program, most of them were absolutely crucial. But there was a certain trend to some of them, and Shuichi didn’t like it one bit. He tried to get some answers out of Ouma-kun, as always, but the guy was tightlipped. The poison, the special setting on Ouma-kun’s avatar… There was no need to have a fervid imagination to understand the girl’s plan. Why was she trying to kill him? There had to be a reason, this was completely premeditated!

As the announcement played, they left the computer room and made their way to the shrine of judgment. As they were walking, Shuichi searched for Ouma-kun and he found him trailing behind, looking deep in thought. Maybe he was realizing the risk he had avoided. Or maybe not, there was a possibility he already knew about her plan all along. Once again, Shuichi was forced to confront the fact that Ouma-kun’s life could have ended two hours ago. He could have log out and found him dead, in the chair next to his. The thought send a chill down his spine and urged him to talk with the little liar. The fear of losing him was starting to become a bit too real now.

“Why did you decide against going into the virtual world? I could have used a second opinion on facts.” Shuichi tried to read his expression. “I would have sworn that you liked the mental stimulation of solving a case. You always look very smug when you solve a problem. Have you already solved this perhaps?”

Ouma-kun looked disoriented for a moment, but immediately resumed his charade.

“I am your best partner after all! Don’t worry, during the trial I’ll help you as much as I can, how does that sound?”

“Sounds good.” Shuichi was honestly happy, Ouma-kun was proposing to work together more often lately, so it couldn’t be a lie, right? “What made you change your mind?”

“What?” Ouma-kun was taken by surprise.

“You said that your brain is not free of charge. That I had to earn your help. What made you change your mind?” he really wanted to know.

“Oh, I…” he stopped midsentence and looked away.

Shuichi’s stomach started to fill with anxiety once again. Why was he acting so strange lately? After he hit his head, he had changed a lot, it was almost like something had thrown him completely off balance. He wanted… to know what had happened to him. He wanted to get so much closer to him. How many things was he still keeping a secret?

“Ouma-kun…” he paused for a moment; maybe… it was the time to show him just how serious he was being about all this. “Kokichi, you’ve acting really strange lately, you realize that, don’t you? You are giving me so many mixed signals… I don’t even know what to think anymore.”

“Mixed signals? For example?” for once Ouma-k… Kokichi, reacted almost like a normal person. His tone was neutral and he was staring at him intensely.

“Like… Sometimes, I think that we are friends, but then you just go and say things that make me rethink our relationship. But then I wonder if you are lying, or if you are lying about lying. I wonder which of the two is your real self and I wonder how should I figure it out. And you are not helping in the slightest.”

There. Now Kokichi could hear exactly what he was thinking about him. How was he going to respond?

“I like you of course!” he did one of his silly smiles. “But maybe I’m lying!” he paused for a second, scrutinizing him to see his reaction. “Or maybe I’m lying about lying!” he smiled again, looking satisfied of himself.

"I should have known... You are not going to answer me, are you?” Was it okay… to push a little further still? “You are a liar and often rude and annoying... But... You are interesting too...” this felt way to close to a confession for Shuichi’s taste. "You have a good mind and your motivations are a complete mystery... Maybe it's my Detective side that's so..." he stopped himself before he could go too deep and… hurt himself.

"Hmm?" Kokichi was still staring at him curiously.

Shuichi looked away trying to decide if the best course of action was to retreat or to push again. No, maybe trying to get an answer in a straightforward way was not the right thing to do. Considering the liar’s personality, it made so much more sense to try to use a game as a medium.

“All right, how about this? Whoever finds the culprit first get to ask any question he wants to the loser. And the answer must be truthful.”

Shuichi saw a sparkle of interest shining brightly in his eyes and he was about to congratulate himself for the great idea when the sparkle died. Kokichi’s face became strangely more guarded and diffident. He agreed to the game, but he was looking a lot less enthusiastic than he should have been. Maybe… There was something that was bothering him about this murder.

What was he not telling him?

The trial started and Shuichi was determinate to end this as soon as possible. Of course, the prospect of killing a friend was terrible, but Iruma-san died by someone’s hand, it was undeniable. Kokichi started immediately with his antics. He accused Kaito but surely, he was aware that this was not the truth, so this was just him messing around like always. Or maybe not. Now that he was looking at him objectively, already knowing the right answer, he realized that he was actually guiding them to realize that the poison could not be the cause of death.

Kokichi quickly summarized the events of the virtual world for them and they easily reached the conclusion that the murder weapon had been the toilet paper. The discussion was progressing so much faster now that he was talking directly to him and Shuichi scolded himself a little because he was almost _having fun._ But this was a class trial and their lives were on the line so there was nothing fun about it at all. Yet, seeing Kokichi so engaged and responsive was very satisfying.

Maybe, just maybe, Shuichi had found a solution.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter July 15.


	6. Offering hostility is not the right answer

(Ch 49 )

“Oh, I can imagine many uses…” Kokichi looked at his nails. “Like… Hmmm… Meeting with someone and murdering the shit out of them?”

“I knew that you had already caught on that, she was planning to kill Ko-,” Shuichi caught himself just in time, “Ouma-kun with that hammer. Kiibo told me that you two were supposed to meet on the rooftop.”

“Wow, my secrets are all out in the open for you to see! Buuut… If you want to prove this to the others, you better figure out her plan!” Kokichi looked cheerful and unconcerned.

So he really had understood the implication of Iruma-san’s plan, well that was to be expected. She asked him to meet and then he saw the bottle of poison and the special setting. Anyone could have made that connection. Shuichi explained the whole plan that Iruma-san orchestrated to kill Kokichi to everyone, including the fact that she logged out forcefully Kaito.

“Well, yeah, all this was very obvious, got anything else for me, Saihara-chan?” Kokichi smiled, teasing him.

“If you knew, then why you didn’t just say so!” Kaito, on the other hand was getting increasingly irritated with him.

“First, because none of you would have believed it coming from me…” Kokichi paused for a moment then showed a new evil smirk, one that made Shuichi sigh with disbelief. He loved to look scary, but Shuichi was not scared at all. “And furthermore, because I want you all to finally understand that you can’t trust anyone. Especially not here, in this game.” Shuichi really wanted to know the exact extent of his distrusting nature. “Anyways, it’s a good thing that she died and not me. She would have been able to lie as much as she wanted about the virtual world settings. None of you is qualified to say that she is lying. Now we are free to enjoy this mystery in peace!”

“You keep talking like this… You sound just like Monokuma…You are a coward; you never speak the truth or show your true face! The hell with this game crap! I’m gonna find the truth by believing in all of my friends!”

Shuichi sighed again. Getting these two to work together was going to be an even harder challenge than trying to understand Kokichi. Kaito’s hostility was not helping anyone.

“If you think you can end this game like this… Sure, be my guest!”

“All right then, let’s move on.” Kiibo-kun intervened, sparing Shuichi from this unrewarding task. “Let’s hear Ouma’s testimony.”

“Eh? My testimony?” for a moment he looked surprised, but Shuichi was not capable of deciding if he was being honest or he was just lying. “Well, here is my answer! I never met with Iruma-chan! The door to the rooftop was locked!”

“But lock-picking is your specialty!” Yumeno-san pointed a finger at Kokichi. “You should have been able to open it easily!”

“We are talking about the virtual world here… A closed door is more like an invisible wall, not a real lock. And even if it wasn’t, I didn’t have my tools with me.” he explained as if she was being stupid, another attitude that Shuichi didn’t like very much.

“You’re lying! When I went to the roof, it was not locked at all!” Kaito contradicted him.

“Why would I lie, I don’t wanna die!” that was debatable…

Not the fact that he wanted to die, but rather the fact that he was not lying. Considering what he did during the third trial; self-proclaiming himself as Yonaga-san’s killer.

“Lying would do you a lot of good if you are the culprit…” Yumeno-san commented.

Shuichi thought that lying was doing good for him in every situation, Kokichi knew just how much he could push things and when to stop. Why he had to go through the trouble of staging every move like this was really beyond him, but maybe it was fun for the liar. Like right now, he was standing there with his mouth opened like Yumeno-san’s comment was unheard of. Like he had never thought of that possibility before. Sure, Shuichi was absolutely sure he could believe that.

“OHH! You are right! I never thought about that!!” Kokichi yelled suddenly, such a loud noise after a long silence scared him for a second.

Shuichi stared at his satisfied face. Yeah, that was it; he was enjoying himself by behaving like a clown. Shuichi face-palmed sighing, in another context his sense of humor could be very funny, maybe, but right now he was only making everyone more annoyed.

“You are suspicious as hell!!!” and indeed Kaito was not appreciating it in the slightest.

“Everyone, wait a moment. There is no point to keep talking in a circle like this, the truth will come out eventually.” he needed them to return on tracks, they were making progress; it was not the time to give up.

“Wow Saihara-chan! You have grown so much! I’m so proud of you, my firstborn son, keep up the good work! My life rests in your hands!”

Kokichi teased him on purpose, knowing perfectly that he didn’t like to be distracted by random nonsense while he was trying to make a point. What was that idiocy about a firstborn son anyway? Why he had to make up the most random stuff, how was he even capable of doing it. Did he ever run out of ideas? He sighed again, trying to keep the control of the situation.

“Can you please be quiet for a moment?” he already knew the answer.

“Nooope! I’m gonna talk until the moment I die!” Kokichi giggled, as expected.

“I don’t doubt that.” he sighed dramatically. Kokichi was trying hard to be funny, and maybe a little cute. That giggle was a bit cute, but now is not the right moment for it. “So, I’m wondering how she got to the mansion roof, since the bridge was gone, she dropped it herself. She must have had a plan of some sort…”

“Or maybe she stood me up! She stood me up, didn’t she?! It’s so rude to break a promise!!” he yelled like he was honestly offended at the thought. What a clown, really.

“Yeah right, she stood up the person she wanted to kill, make perfect sense.” Shuichi couldn’t resist the temptation to point out the obvious. “No, we have Shirogane-san’s testimony; she was seen at the mansion. We just need to figure out how.”

Trying to figure out the secret route that Iruma-san used proved to be quite challenging. He tried to discuss it with his friends, but none of their suggestions was convincing enough. This was the only thing he had yet to figure out, well, excluding the culprit. After a long moment of silence, in which he only observed the others arguing, Kokichi finally decided to speak. Shuichi was already _sure_ the little Leader had figured this one out. It was not on a whim that he had decided that he needed him as a partner in the investigation; Kokichi was very, _very_ quick on the intake.

“As I said, I’m gonna give you a hint! You are so fixed on the map that  _she_ showed us that you are not realizing the most important part. People you trust will ultimately betray you. If she wanted to kill me it’s obvious that she would tamper with everything she could.”

“So the map was her trap?” Shuichi was starting to see it thanks to him, as expected his hint was vital.

“Clearly. You just need to look at it, see the paths? They’re cut off in strange places suggesting that there is somewhere to go after the end of the map. But if you flip the map around a bit, you can see that all the paths were actually connected from the start!” Kokichi explained like it was absolutely evident from the start.

“I see now!” now that he made him realize that detail it was, indeed, obvious from the start. “The wall that Iruma-san set was the middle of the map! While the loading point is actually at the edges!”

“Wow! You are an amazing Detective Saihara-chan! I knew that our lives were safe in your hands!” Kokichi’s eyes were sparking.

Shuichi knew he was just messing around, but he could not help the little spark of embarrassed happiness he was feeling.

“Oh, don’t give me that. This is your deduction, I’m not gonna take the credit for this. So you already had her trick completely figured out. If you already know who the culprit is, just say so!”

“No, I don’t know yet! However, this trial has finally reached the exciting part! Let’s work harder, Saihara-chan!” he smiled at him enthusiastically.

“Tsk, you are really enjoying all of this, aren’t you? Even if you say who the culprit is, I’m not gonna believe you! I’ll never put my faith in you!” Kaito was throwing gratuitous hostility toward him.

“Iruma-san was probably killed on the rooftop.” Shuichi decided to ignore Kaito. He was acting like a spoiled child right now, what was important was to survive, it didn’t matter how or who was helping them survive.“Ouma-kun said that the door was locked; I don’t think that Iruma-san would lock the door before he had arrived. So the culprit was probably with her at that moment.”

“And since she was the only one to be able to pass through the wall she set and the sign was gone… It must mean that the killer is one of the people that was searching the mansion.”

Now that Kokichi was going over all of the facts in the correct order, it was obvious. So, Harukawa-san, Yumeno-san and Kiibo-kun were surely not the culprit. Of the remaining suspects…

“Wait, wait, wait! Why are you leading the debate now?! Shuichi, do something!” Kaito illogically called him out.

“Even if you say that…” Shuichi was a bit exasperated by his current attitude. He was not helping he was just yapping about. “He is right; the culprit must be one of us at the mansion.”

Harukawa-san expressed an interesting problem, how was Iruma-san’s avatar moved?

“Hey, Saihara-chan! Talk to me if you’re stuck!” he whispered to him with a hand next to his mouth. He was such a clown.

“Are you a Tutorial NPC for an RPG game? So, what’s your hint? Does it cost game coins?” he was aware that this was not the right situation for this, but he could not stop himself from being in a better mood.

“Wasn’t there something on the roof that could have been used to cut the friction? Something that was  _somewhere else_ after the crime?” Kokichi told him suggestively.

“The lattice! They used the lattice!”

Shuichi felt like all the pieces of the puzzle were finally in the correct order. But…

“How do you know so much about the murder scene, you weren’t there!” Kaito shouted again.

Yes, that was the point.

“Well, Saihara-chan? Do you know who the killer is?” Kokichi ignored Kaito and stared at him in the eyes.

“Well, not you.” that was a given.

“What?! Man, what’s gotten into you?!” not for Kaito clearly.

“Why do you say that?” Harukawa-san remained calm.

“Because he simply could not have killed her. Ouma-kun had a special setting on his avatar. Iruma-san made sure that she was capable of killing him without any trouble. If Iruma-san could somehow touch Ouma-kun, he would be frozen in place. The perfect victim. Since the method used for killing her is strangulation, Ouma-kun is automatically out of the suspect list. I knew that from the very beginning.” that was it. He had known from the beginning of the trial, no, even before the end of the investigation, that the probability of Kokichi being the culprit were less than 10%, if not zero. “But… it does concern me that you know so much about something you should not have seen…  _When_ did you see the murder scene?”

“Ah! So you agree that he is suspicious!” Kaito smiled triumphantly.

“He is always suspicious, but he is not the culprit. Give me an explanation, Ouma-kun.” he stared him in the eyes.

Kokichi was not the culprit. So how was he involved in all this?

“Ah, since my favorite Detective asked, why should I refuse? I’ll confess everything!”

It was then and only then, that Shuichi finally connected the dots. The answer, the culprit he was searching for… It was obvious since the very beginning. Excluding Kokichi, excluding himself and Shirogane-san… Excluding Kaito… There was only one person that could have done this.

He already knew who the culprit was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter July 19.


	7. Underestimating you was a mistake

(Ch 49 – 51 – 53 – 55)

“So, let’s start from the beginning. I discovered Iruma-chan’s plan way earlier than this; I’ve actually planned all this two days ago! So, after playing around on the computer, I discovered everything that she was planning and with that in mind, I let her believe that I was clueless. I chose a capable accomplice, lured her to the rooftop and then using my own presence as a distraction, I made my accomplice kill her. After that, I just returned to the salon and made my accomplice get rid of her avatar body. Easy as that!”

Silence.

“Ah, by the way. The killer is Gonta! Saihara-chan, I win the bet!”

The trial ground exploded with voices, but Shuichi blocked out the noise and only focused on Kokichi’s face.

Shuichi had already reached that conclusion a few moments ago. In a logical point of view, there was no escaping this truth. Process of elimination. Maybe there was some aspect of the situation he had yet to explore, but still, the options were very, very limited. Kaito and Shirogane-san, plus all the people on the chapel side, had all iron clad alibis. Of course, he knew that he had not killed her and he had an alibi as well. So, there were only two options: Gonta and Kokichi.

It was very, very plausible that both options were partially true. Gonta was not exceptionally smart, but this plan kind of was. At the very least, even if he could have killed her by accident, it was impossible for him to have known how to send her to the other map portion. And Kokichi had controlled most of the trial, and he was acting strange since quite a while…

Shuichi momentarily lost any will to speak. A strange feeling, very close to betrayal, was filling him. Kokichi was arguing violently with all the others, or to be more precise, the others were attacking him, while Kokichi was fighting back with sarcasm and a cheerful tone. Shuichi was staring at him in the eyes in silence, hoping to catch his gaze and see if he was capable of keeping this up like it was nothing. The time it took for Kokichi to stare back looked forever.

“Why are you bringing emotions into a class trial? All we need is logical thinking! Right, partner?” Kokichi looked at him only for a second, then he stared at Kaito. “Let me ask you, if it’s not Gonta… Then who is it?”

“You.” Kaito answered in a murderous tone.

“You guys are sooooooo slow! Saihara-chan already told you! There is proof that I couldn’t kill Iruma-chan! Are you all a bunch of dimwits?! Were you dropped on your heads as kids?! What’s wrong with your brains, you bastards?!”

He was laughing and grinning like a mad man. Shuichi’s blood was boiling with anger. This expression was so _fake._ Shuichi only focused a little on what they were saying, he was focusing mostly on Kokichi’s face. He could not understand at all, how was he capable of arguing with the others like this. He looked perfectly in control of the situation, like he was waited for this all day and now was finally having the eagerly anticipated event. Was this a lie?

Was Shuichi stretching his belief way beyond the limits of logic, hoping that there was an explanation for all this?

“Right, Shuichi? You agree, right?” Kaito pulled him out of his thoughts.

Shuichi was at a loss for words. He had made a mistake. He should have never underestimated Kokichi Ouma.

“I know how important is to believe, but as the Ultimate Detective, I can say that we can't solve this case simply by believing in people. We need to seriously discuss this.” Shuichi tried to sound gentle.

He really wanted to discuss this. He really wanted to find a reason for which Gonta could have not committed this crime. But that would have meant that Kokichi was the culprit. Was that better or worse? Shuichi was not sure himself.

“Too bad Momota-chan! Saihara-chan agrees with me! Oh, the irony! It’s thanks to Momota-chan that Saihara-chan got his act together as a Detective and now his intuition has made him more suspicious of others! Well, it can’t be helped! That’s just what a Detective is supposed to be in the first place!” Kokichi was still yelling and grinning as if he was having the time of his life.

He was so, so very different from the boy he had played rock-paper-scissors only a couple days ago. Even the way his eyes were sparkling was completely different. Shuichi was unable to decide if that meant anything or not. Maybe he simply enjoyed playing games and playing with lives in a different way.

Then Kokichi dragged Gonta into the argument aggressively. His voice was growing more and more hurtful with every sentence, Shuichi’s head was slightly spinning. The liar’s voice combined with the giant’s tears were making his heart beat painfully fast. He shook his head a little, now it was not the time to be emotional, he had to end all this with logic alone. His feelings were something he had to figure out later. If either Kokichi or Gonta had killed, he had to expose it. He could feel the consequences of his actions later. Right now, he had a duty and responsibility to save everyone, like he had promised to Akamatsu-san.

A particular line attracted his interest.

“You… don’t know anything?” he asked Gonta. “I think I know what’s going on here. Gonta, you have amnesia, right?”

“Amnesia?! What are you talking about Shuichi?” Kaito looked panicked.

“When we entered the virtual world, we had to connect the cords to the helmets. It’s possible that he improperly connected them. They were supposed to connect memory and conscience, there is the possibility that he lost his memories concerning the virtual world.”

Everything was connecting together. Everything was fitting in their right place.

Everything felt horrible.

Convincing Kaito of Gonta’s guilt was one of the most disheartening thing he ever did, second only to convict Akamatsu-san of her guilt. Kaito fought with all his conviction and the worst thing was the fact that he was seeing him, Shuichi, as his enemy. Shuichi was not his enemy, he was his friend and he wanted to save his life, for crying out loud! He just wanted to save everyone’s life. Kokichi had put him into the worst possible spot. It was almost like now it was Shuichi who wanted Gonta to be guilty, when he actually didn’t want him to be guilty at all. He didn’t want anyone to be guilty. He didn’t want anyone to die. He never wanted Iruma-san do die either. He didn’t want to do any of this anymore.

But more than everything, he was developing a terrible anger inside of him.

Kokichi was supposed to help him prevent these things from happening. He was supposed to be on his side. He was not supposed to orchestrate a murder himself, with or without help. But maybe this was Shuichi’s foolish hope all along. He just saw in him what he wanted; he just wanted an ally, someone smarter than him to take the leading spot. He just wanted to step down from the spotlight and look up to someone else.

He had done the same with Akamatsu-san, it had been easy for him to just follow her lead. To offer his brain, but let her confront everything that was coming their way. Shuichi realized now that he had tried to do the same with Kokichi. He tried to promote him as a new Leader and follow him wherever he would lead him to.

Kaito was a great motivator. He was very good at making people see the light, at creating hope. But he was not so good with actual, concrete solutions. Every time something happened, Shuichi had to step up and take the lead from him. He didn’t want that. He wanted someone to follow, not the others to follow him. He didn’t have the confidence to lead others.

Without even realizing it, Shuichi had started to look at Kokichi and saw what his title was supposed to imply. A Leader. He never had looked for an ally in him, only someone to use as a shield. And now, that hope was biting him back hard. Now his newfound hope was throwing him back into the pit of despair. He was all alone against everything, once again.

He wanted to cry but he could not. He was a Detective and he had a duty to fulfill.

“Why did you plan it this way? There is no incentive for having an accomplice; you’re not free to go. There were other ways you could have committed this murder without Gonta, I know you could. You are too smart to have carelessly made this mistake. There is a clear objective in you killing Iruma-san using Gonta. What is it?” he thought he deserved to know at least that much.

Kokichi completely ignored him.

“This murder is impossible for anyone but Gonta. Monokuma, why are we still talking?” he addressed to the black and white bear.

“Convince everyone, little Leader, then we can talk about the vote!” Monokuma had his paws on his mouth.

“All right, Saihara-chan! You don’t want everyone to die, right? Ignore the stupid idiot by your side and convince everyone else, please! They will never believe it if it's coming from my cute lips!” Kokichi called out to him next, but he looked at him only a second, he immediately broke eye contact.

Shuichi was extremely irritated. Kokichi refused to answer his question and then just dropped the most ungrateful duty on him. He expressed his irritation at him with a glare, then tried to focus entirely on Kaito. He prayed for this to end as soon as possible.

“Process of elimination wins again! Here is the thing you guys wanted so badly! A truth without any lies!! Iruma-chan’s killer is Gokuhara Gonta!!” Kokichi’s declaration closed the argument once and for all.

They voted and Shuichi left his podium feeling like he had aged ten years. It seemed like he had been at that podium for a whole week. He was physically and mentally drained. But he knew that the ordeal was not over yet.

“Are you satisfied now? What were you trying to accomplish here?” Kokichi had yet answered him.

“Ah right, I guess it’s time! Gonta, explain!”

And once again, he was ignored. Shuichi closed his fists, feeling his nails biting into his palms. It was important to understand Gonta’s motive and view on the crime, but he wanted a _damned explanation._ And he wanted it from Kokichi’s mouth.

The ‘secret of the real world’ was flying past his head. Shuichi was aware that this was very important and he needed to focus but the details were too hazy, Gonta’s explanation was not an explanation at all. This was not what Shuichi was looking for. He really wanted to believe what Kokichi was saying, about him trying to make them die ignorant, but… he could not. There was just something wrong in all that. Maybe he was once again behaving just like Kaito, putting his faith in the wrong things, but he was _absolutely sure_ that while maybe this was really Gonta’s motive, it was absolutely not Kokichi’s motive.

Kokichi wanting to kill everyone to spare them despair? No, despair didn’t click at all with Kokichi. Shuichi was pretty sure that if they had really fallen into some kind of despair, he would just look at them all from above and laugh. That was just the kind of person he was. That didn’t mean he could not fall into despair. Kokichi surely could be affected by things like every other human being, but Kokichi was a fighter. A survivor. He would fight until the bitter end and go down smiling in face of death.

This motive was fit for the sweet, gentlemanly Gonta, always feeling insecure and waiting to help. It didn’t fit Kokichi at all. The cynical, sarcastic and filled with rivalry-towards-the-world-itself Kokichi.

Shuichi called bullshit on this one.

Then Kokichi started calling Gonta’s name, crying and extending a hand toward him. Nothing could stop Monokuma, Shuichi knew that from firsthand experience. Shuichi suspended judgment on Kokichi’s current actions and expressions. Shuichi was a Detective; he could not judge a situation from the ending result. He needed a starting point somewhere. He needed to establish a timeline of events, a reconstruction. And he was still missing the _real_ motive.

He could not watch Gonta’s execution. Not when he felt, for some incomprehensible reason, like he had somehow caused it.

In the silence that followed, Shuichi’s mind was empty. He had failed, once again. Not only in saving Iruma-san, not only in preventing Gonta from doing something horrible, not only in interpreting Kokichi correctly, but on finding what he was seeking. A solution.

And he had underestimated Kokichi quite a lot.

“Hey, tell us now, what’s the secret of the outside world? If we don’t know that, we won’t be able to accept this.” Harukawa-san was the first one to react.

“Kokichi!” next was Kaito. “If you really cared for Gonta, explain yourself to everyone and-“

“I don’t want to.” Kokichi’s voice was low, strange; Shuichi had never heard it like this before.

 “You what?!” Kaito’s angry voice was well known instead.

“I said that I don’t want to, you stupid imbecile! Have you become deaf or something?! Don’t tell me you actually fell for that fake crying?! Why in the world would I ever cry for Gonta?! WHO CARES ABOUT THAT IDIOT!! God, you’re so stupid! So incredibly stupid! How come you’re not dead yet?! Idiots like you are the ones that make this game so interesting! What secret of the outside world and shit, clearly that was all a lie! I can’t believe that he actually fell for that, that gigantic moron! Hell, he surely spiced up the game, didn’t he?! And all of you, what are those faces?! Why have you gotten attached to him in this place?! You are all just as stupid! This is a game of suspicion and betrayal! I’m enjoying it so much! Didn’t all those stupid faces he was making make you want to laugh?! C’mon laugh! Don’t you know that there are people in this world that spread grief and misery for no other reason than the thrill of it! I’m one of those people! The more you all suffer, the more I’m enjoying it! Nothing pleases me more than seeing you all drown in pain and suffering!”

Definitely. He had underestimated him way too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: 23th July.


	8. Let's stop this farce

(Ch 55)

“So basically… You sacrificed Gonta and Miu for your own entertainment?” Harukawa-san was the first one to recover, once again.

“So what? You kill for money, don’t try to lecture me!” Kokichi’s face was contorted in a terrible evil grin. “But man, you should have suspected me more! Because of you, Iruma-chan and Gonta died such meaningless deaths!”

“Meaningless deaths?!” Kaito could not take this anymore.

He observed, frozen on the spot, as if he was a simple spectator, as Kaito tried to punch Kokichi but ended up being punched instead. The action had been so fast that Shuichi understood what he had seen with a moment of delay.

“Oh! Sorry, didn’t mean to hurt you so much! Or maybe, you are simply hiding something from your friends too?” Kokichi was smiling, talking in a suggestive tone, like he was very proud of himself. As soon as he could regain the usage of his legs, he ran by his friend’s side, panicking when he saw blood running down his face. How could this happen?

“Hmm? Why are you all so panicked over a guy like him? He is completely useless! He has yet to do a single useful thing and-“ Shuichi interrupted him.

“Yeah, because you have done so many useful things already, right?!” Shuichi could not take this any longer. The whole speech he had done was already creepy and infuriating but this was way beyond the line. He turned toward him with as much anger as he could muster. “You only make things more miserable and-“ he got interrupted by and even stronger anger.

“OH DON’T EVEN TRY! You all complain day in and day out about the situation and everything, but NONE OF YOU EVEN MOVE YOUR ASSES! I have yet to see any of you do anything different other than follow blindly the path that Monokuma shows you! You sleep without a care in the world!”

Shuichi was seeing red. Well, metaphorically. He was… _sleeping without a care in the world?_ How dare he? How dare he say that, when he had no idea of his feelings, fears, hopes, or anything at all. How dare he say that, when Shuichi was having nightmares, was having trouble sleeping, and was always feeling responsible for everything? He was still seeing Akamatsu-san’s face in front of him as she was being dragged away by Monokuma. And now, he had added a new nightmare to the list. He himself added this one. He had no right at all to say anything like that.

“Don’t you dare say that I sleep without a care in the world! DON’T YOU DARE!”

“Shuichi, move.” Harukawa-san ordered from behind his back. “I’m going to kill him.”

Shuichi didn’t want him dead. He wanted to punch him himself and then ask for an apology. And an explanation. Kokichi was not allowed to die until he gave him an explanation.

“Wow, there! I appreciate a lively spirit, but a murder in the courtroom is just a no go!” Monokuma interrupted.

Kokichi looked at them for a moment longer, his face still, an inexpressive mask in place, and then he turned around and started to make his way to the elevator.

“Enough, I’m bored of this already, you are all extremely boring, I’ll win this game all by myself, goodbye!”

Shuichi’s anger was not subdue at all, on the contrary, now it was stronger. Kokichi was not allowed to go away, without an apology and an explanation. He deserved both. Kokichi _owed_ him both. But even in that enraged state of mind, he realized that he could not just ignore Kaito. He tried to help him up, but Kaito slapped his hand away.

“Don’t touch me! I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but after what you have done I don’t want your help, _Saihara._ ” he shouted at him.

Shuichi recoiled back, as if he had been burned.

“What… have I done?” he asked, his heart was beating fast and painfully.

What had he done? He had solved the case. Found the truth. He had saved everyone. Right?

“You think I’m stupid?! I’m not stupid! I’ve seen what you were doing there! You… you planned this with _him_ didn’t you?! Did you two decided to kill us all, one by one? Was Gonta your first test? You wanted to see if we were going to help you play this twisted game?!” Kaito was panting and trembling with anger and hurt.

Shuichi was speechless. Seriously, Kaito just… said that? He just decided that Shuichi was helping Kokichi murder people? After all he had done, in the end, the amount of trust that Kaito had for him was reduced to this? He just went and decided that everything was Shuichi’s fault.

This was not fair. _Not fair at all._

Shuichi tightened his fists, clutching his jaw with new anger.

Not only Kokichi betrayed his trust, now Kaito was behaving like a blind fool!

“I didn’t plan any of this, but if you’d rather think like this, then suit yourself!” he blurted angrily.

Kaito inhaled sharply and opened his mouth to shout something at him when Harukawa-san grabbed his arm and shut him up.

“Enough you two. Now is not the time, you are ill and getting so agitated is not going to help anyone. We can talk again later.” she closed the argument.

“I don’t want to talk later…” Kaito was only whispering, but Shuichi heard him all the same.

“Go ahead Shuichi, we are coming later.” Harukawa-san urged him to go, so that Kaito could stop muttering under his breath.

Normally Shuichi would feel sad, disappointed or even excluded but right now he was very glad he had an excuse to go away alone. He didn’t want to spend any more time with this immature and unfair Kaito. He rode the elevator alone, even Kiibo-kun, Shirogane-san and Yumeno-san remained behind, looking completely at a loss. They didn’t seem capable of deciding which side they were on. Shuichi didn’t care, he wanted to find Kokichi. And punch him for all this possibly. Then he wanted an explanation. Yes, that was the correct order.

As soon as the elevator opened, Shuichi jogged to the dormitory, since it was late he was probably going to lock himself in his room. Shuichi was prepared to knock on his door for the whole night if it was necessary. Well, the doorbell looked a bit more comfortable, knocking the whole night was going to hurt his hand. He never got to test his theory, as soon as he reached the second floor of the dormitory, he saw immediately that Kokichi’s door was wide open. He stood at the doorway, unsure of what to expect. For Kokichi to be inside and leave the door open was incredibly out of character. And indeed he was not inside.

Shuichi entered the room almost on tiptoe, feeling shy, even though the room was empty. It was still another person’s bedroom and Shuichi never entered another person’s bedroom before. He remembered talking with Akamatsu-san at her doorway, but he never actually step foot inside. Kokichi’s room was decorated with a bunch of random stuff, the guy had collected part of the evidence and he had a box full of paper in a corner. Right in front of the bed, near the closet, was a whiteboard with their pictures attached on it. Shuichi immediately noticed the pattern. He had placed the picture of the culprit and the victim next to each other, connected by a little arrow on the left side of the board. On the right side were all the others, under the label ‘list of suspects’. Shuichi noticed that Gonta and Iruma-san’s pictures were already in the correct position.

Had Kokichi visited recently or were they in this position since before the trial? Both options were plausible.

In any case, the liar was not there and he was just wasting his time. It was improbable that he would come back, if he wanted to hide, he should have used the time that separated him from them to do it. Now it was late. Surely, he was aware that Kaito and Harukawa-san would not go easy on him if they found him. He couldn’t have deluded himself that no one was going to search for him. He left in a hurry and reached the Academy. The possibility that he was hiding in the courtyard was not that high. The greenery was a lot scarcer now, it was possible to see everything even from a distance, there was nowhere to take cover.

When he reached the entrance hall, he looked left and right, trying to decide which side to try first. The basement didn’t offer a lot of choices in terms of hiding spots, but Kokichi was pretty good at hide and seek. Shuichi thought for a moment about the hidden door in the library, but then he scrapped that idea. Only the mastermind would use that door and Kokichi was not the mastermind, Shuichi was willing to bet on that. He didn’t have any concrete proof, but a mastermind would not orchestrate such an elaborate plan to get someone else to kill, they were probably watching without getting involved, it made much more sense for them to not influence things in such an obvious way. He could look in the basement, but that would mean to leave the entrance unguarded for a time, Kokichi could slip past him and leave. The problem was solved by itself.

The rustling of some plastic bag made him turn toward the stairs and there, with wide eyes, was Kokichi holding two plastic bags that looked incredibly stuffed with food. Shuichi felt anger boil once again; there was no mistaking what he was doing.

It was time to stop this farce, right now.

“Hiding? Running away? For someone  _who is doing useful stuff,_ you sure love to run away from problems and avoid taking responsibility.”

Kokichi’s face filled with anger and frustration.

“You don’t get to tell me that!” he shouted. “Taking responsibility is that one thing I never stop doing, ever! I’m taking responsibility for everything, always, for all of you! If you really want to blame someone for all this, look no further than yourself! It’s your own fault you’re here in the first place!”

It took him a moment too long but he realized something, the last part of what he said made no sense whatsoever. He had to blame himself because it was his own fault he was there?

“What?” he blurted out without thinking.

Kokichi paled, or maybe it was just a trick of the light, the guy was always pale like a ghost. He didn’t answer, he turned toward the stairs and flee, the bags were rustling in his hands. Shuichi was frozen on the spot, a strange feeling, almost like triumph overcome him and prevented him from chasing.

_He knows something, he is doing something, there is something to this, I was right!_

His anger and frustration fueled his determination, igniting a fire inside him. He was going to catch the liar and he was going to make him spit out everything he knew, every detail. It was time to end this farce once and for all, he wanted some answers and he was going to get them. He was not scared of Kokichi, no matter what kind of nonsense he spouted during the trial and especially after knowing that there was a method to Kokichi’s madness. And now, that little slip up was all he needed.

All he needed to get obsessed.

He recovered and run up the stairs, he had given Kokichi some advantage, but not so much. He was going to search all over the Academy and find him. He was going to corner him and ask all his questions. He was going to get his answers.

He was going to end the liar’s farce once and for all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter on 27th July.
> 
> I've added the summary ^_^


	9. Disappearing like a ghost is your specialty

(Ch 57 – 59)

Shuichi was in front of the door of the room where Kokichi hit his head some days ago.

He turned the doorknob and opened the door but remained in the doorway. His eyes fixed immediately on the floorboard that was in the center of the room, which Shuichi had not willingly memorized. He was aware of the fact that technically Kokichi could be under the floor, it was pretty ridiculous, but not impossible. The problem was… that he didn’t want to check. If he really was there…

The floorboard reminded him of Kokichi’s weakness, of fun times and of when they played the knife game. Not that the knife game was a good memory, but the events afterward were. He didn’t want to be reminded of any of these things right now. He wanted to keep his anger and drive intact, if he was going to taint it with doubts or even worst, _feelings…_  No, his duty right now was to catch him and to make him confess. Not to start putting things in the way, he didn’t need any more excuses, any more weaknesses.

He hoped Kokichi was not there.

If he was… then he was being cruel. Very, very cruel. Shuichi didn’t want to confirm this theory, he wanted him to be hidden somewhere else.

“Kokichi? Kokichi, are you here? Don’t think you’ll be able to escape from me forever, I want an explanation!”

No one answered, as expected. Shuichi remained in the room for a long moment, avoiding looking at the floorboard. Kokichi was not there. He could not be there. He absolutely had to not be there.

After the moment passed, he abandoned the empty room and returned to his search. He had tried all the doors on the previous floors, but he had been very careful never lose sight of the hallways as well. He needed to be sure Kokichi could not sneak past him and go back to an area he had already searched. He saw him climb the stairs, so he had to be on an upper floor. As long as he didn’t lose sight of the hallway, he should find him sooner or later. The rooms were mostly empty, so there were very little places he could hide, like Hoshi-kun’s shower room.

His plan was smart and it should have worked, yet it didn’t work. He reached his own Lab, the last room on the last floor and Kokichi was nowhere to be seen. Shuichi’s disappointment was burning in waves together with humiliation. It was a horrible feeling, failing. He returned to the fourth floor, cursing his own weakness and pried away the floorboard.

No one was there.

Kokichi was already gone and now the whole space inside the End Wall was a plausible hiding spot. Kokichi could be literally anywhere.

He sloppily searched everywhere again, this time entering the rooms and checking behind objects and obstacles, but of course, he was not able to find him. Shuichi wasn’t even hoping it anymore. He had to give up for the night. Returning to his room, closing the door and going to bed was accompanied by an agonizing feeling. Shuichi knew he would not sleep that night, no matter how tired he was. Actually maybe it was a good thing that he could not sleep, he had already had his fill of nightmares.

The following morning, he reached the dining room with the worst possible mood and seeing Kaito instantly clenching his chopsticks hard, made it even worst. The guy refused to make eye contact with him, Harukawa-san looked at him for a second then returned to her food, the others didn’t greet him either. He took the food he wanted from the kitchen and sat down. His conscience was clean; he was not going to avoid them as if he was the one at fault. While they were eating, in complete silence, Monokuma dropped from the ceiling and gave them two keys. Shuichi took them, more out of habit than anything else, and saw with the corner of his eye Kaito open his mouth. Probably to ask him to give the keys to them. Shuichi turned toward him and Kaito immediately looked down on the table with his jaw shut tight.

After confirming that no one had anything else to add, Shuichi left the dining room. There was a place that was giving him thoughts since quite some time, it was the door close to the gym, the one that was decorated with a checkered design. That could potentially be Kokichi’s Lab. He had no idea how, but there was the possibility that Kokichi found a way in way before anyone else and had been using that place as a hiding spot all this time. So, of course, that was the first place he tried to check. Beyond the door was a long staircase. He thought for a moment about waiting for the others, but then decided against it, especially if Kokichi was on the other end of the staircase, and started to climb alone. Shuichi was a bit disappointed when he reached the top. He really was not expecting the Astronaut Lab to be in such a place. Why the checkered design? It didn’t make any sense.

There was another place he wanted to try, the door right next to his own Lab. While he was walking the long distance between the two Labs Shuichi noticed that the key he had used to open the door was still there, in his hand. Normally the mysterious object would disappear just as it would appear, out of thin air. But not this time, this time the key suggested that it could be used again. Shuichi had no idea where though. When he turned the key in the stone door, a tickling noise started and Shuichi quickly took cover, sensing the danger. The door exploded revealing another red door right beyond. After recovering from the shock, he tried to open that new door but Monokuma appeared again. He said that this new room was Rantaro’s Lab. Great, now the only Lab he was missing was the only Lab he really wanted to find.

His mood become even worst, if possible, when he spent hours trying to find a use for the key he had left. Not only he didn’t find Kokichi’s Lab, he was unable to locate the next place as well. He was reminded of the time he and Kokichi cooperated to find the location where to use the golden hammer. Shuichi shook his head, it was almost like his memory was mocking him as well, creating similarities that didn’t really exist. In the end, it was once again thanks to someone else that he was able to find the answer he was searching for. The key was due in the keyhole next to a huge metallic door in the garden, next to Iruma-san’s Lab. he explored the hanger just beyond with Kiibo-kun and found the place where the Exisals were stored. He even had a bad ten minutes as Kiibo-kun, contrary to any logic, decided to test the hydraulic press that was in the room. He almost was crushed, making Shuichi a killer in the process. It was only after that Monokuma decided to show up and give him the remote control for the shutter of the hanger. Yumeno-san distracted him from his thoughts, calling him back to the dining room. While he was walking, the thoughts came back and he considered them a little.

Monokuma was notorious for never doing something without a purpose, even the stupidest things were revealed to be relevant later. He had gave him the remote, which could not be an act without a purpose or a mistake; there was definitely an objective in that somewhere. The first idea that came to mind was that this way Shuichi could become a target, for some reason. He had no idea why someone would be so desperate to get into the hanger and shut himself in with that thing, but Shuichi had thought that a big computer could not become a threat either and look where that led him. The next idea was that it could have been used as a bargain chip, like Monokuma gave him a way to access the new motive or something like this. The next motive had not been revealed yet after all, there was no way to tell what the bear was scheming.

Should he keep it on himself?

Shuichi felt the weight of the remote during the entire walk and then during all the talk. The writing in the courtyard was just making him more irritated. He didn’t know what to think exactly but it didn’t actually seem something important. Because… if it was true then it was just a confirm that Kokichi was ‘evil’ and what could be the point for Kokichi himself to write that down? On a rock hidden by grass nonetheless. If it was fake, it was either Kokichi pulling another cruel mind trick on them or someone that was intentionally screwing with them and using Kokichi as a scapegoat. No, if anything that writing proved, on Shuichi’s mind at least, that Kokichi was not the mastermind and the real mastermind was directing their anger at him.

If that was true, there was a huge probability that the next would be Kokichi himself.

No one found the flashback light and they resumed their silence tactic. Shuichi left them and tried again to find Kokichi. He had to be hidden somewhere! He tried everywhere and moved everything he could, but he could not find anything. He didn’t find any trace of a hidden door or mechanism anywhere either. Well, excluding the library but that would imply that Kokichi was the mastermind and again, Shuichi was positive this was not the truth. The day ended with zero results.

The next day, Shuichi had breakfast with Yumeno-san, Shirogane-san and Kiibo-kun. Kaito and Harukawa-san were nowhere to be seen. The atmosphere was still very, very heavy and Shuichi was in a terrible mood. The anger had subdue, but the irritation was still very real. It was only when he had almost finished eating, that Kaito and Harukawa-san appeared. Kaito spoke to all of them, telling them he wanted to fight and that this was the perfect time to do so. He told them to meet in the gym the following morning and then he left, the girl followed him immediately after.

He finished eating slowly, and then he got up and put his dishes in the sink, still very slowly. He was using calculated little movements in hope of calming down completely, ready to work with Kaito soon. He didn’t want to pass this opportunity, if he was not going to find Kokichi today, he would go help Kaito without a second thought, well maybe he would have a second thought, but he would go nevertheless. That could potentially have meant that he was going to forfeit on the little liar but he was pretty sure that Kokichi was not actually blind to what was happening. He surely was going to intrude on Kaito project, one way or another.

Shuichi resumed his search, even if he was already aware that he was just wasting his time. He tried to deduce where he could be, since he had to eat and to use the bathroom at some point. He had seen him with the two bags, but was he really going to survive on that for days? And what about the bathroom? The possibilities were only two, he had a secret room with a private bathroom or his hiding spot was very close to the bathroom on the first floor.

Of course, his close inspection of the immediate surroundings of the bathroom was wasted effort. He even tried the female one, but of course, there was nothing nowhere. He gave up for the moment, deciding to take a shower since he had not taken one the previous day. He was going to shower, then have some dinner and search again. He was going to search deep into the night.

As soon as he entered his room, he understood that he didn’t need to give up his sleep.

A little square of paper was on the floor, near the door, Shuichi had almost step on it.

_Saihara-chan! Stop being a workaholic, geez!_

_I know you miss me, but there is a limit!_

_Buuut! Your hard work moved me to tears!_

_I’m in Hoshi-chan’s shower room, come get your prize!_

_Love, Ouma Kokichi <3_

Shuichi stared hard at the last sentence. If he had had superpowers of some sort, surely the paper would be on fire by now. In absence of an awesome superpower, he rolled it and threw it at the wall as hard as he could.

He was going, all right.

He was going to Hoshi-kun’s shower room and he was going to get his ‘prize’.

And he was going to slap the little bastard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I want to ask you a question.  
> For how long do you think I should continue this?  
> I mean, I could very well write this until the very end of PP but there is going to be a LOT of repeating.  
> Like... I cannot change the dialogues, obviously, so the long chats can become very very boring.  
> Next chapter is going to be a very good example of what I mean, since the shower chat is clearly the same.  
> Don't be afraid to tell me that this is boring, on the contrary, knowing that I should stop can help me spend my time better!  
> So, opinions pretty please!! :)


	10. You better not be lying again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The first part of the chapter is composed mostly of the same talk in the shower from PP, if you want to read something new instead skip past and go directly to the second half where you can't see any more dialogues.

(Ch 59 – 61 – 63)

Kokichi was locked inside a shower stall.

“What are you doing in th—“

He tried to ask him what the hell he was doing in there, but Kokichi pulled something and the door behind him closed with a loud noise. He stared at the door and then at the guy that was snickering past the metallic bars, he tried to open the door but it was closed shut.

“You… are you completely  _nuts?_  Why am I locked inside Hoshi-kun’s shower room while  _you_ are locked inside his  _shower stall?_  What’s your  _problem_?”

He tried to convey everything that he was thinking of this ridiculous situation, but he was not sure he had been able to, as Kokichi started to laugh like an idiot. Shuichi was only capable of looking at him, as always Kokichi was completely impossible to deal with. Every feeling he had inside him flew out without leaving any trace, he was feeling only disbelief.

“I’ve caught you, Saihara-chan!” Kokichi yelled, cheerful as useful, no maybe even more than usual.

“No, I’m pretty sure you’ve caught  _yourself!_ Why are you locked in there?! Why did you lock the door?! A fishing line?! What kind of person comes up with something like this?!”

“Yeah, this is pretty kinky, huh?”

Saihara-chan face-palmed, suddenly he was feeling very tired.

“Kokichi.  _What_  are we doing here, locked inside a room with a grate separating us?” he tried to return the situation to a more normal ground. “If you don’t tell me, I’m going to start screaming for help.”

“Scream as much as you want! This place is a simulation of a prison! It’s soundproof! As for why: we are here to talk. I have something to tell you and I need you to listen to me, but at the same time, I don’t fancy getting captured by you or punched even, so I’m staying here, in a safe spot. I’ve created a perfect parity situation!” Kokichi returned almost serious. As much as Kokichi could ever be serious.

“How is this a parity situation at all?!” Shuichi wanted to go back.

Back at a time when everything still made sense.

“Easy! You cannot leave this room unless I give you the key, since it’s a prison it doesn’t open from the inside without a key. Which means that you cannot leave without agreeing to my terms. On the other hand, I cannot leave this stall unless you give me the key to the lock, which is on the sink, in case you haven’t notice.” he pointed at it. “So we need to be in agreement here! We can both leave only after we both decide to cooperate, how does that sound?” Kokichi remained silent for a moment, studying him. “Will you listen to what I have to say, Saihara-chan?”

Shuichi remained silent for a while as many contrasting emotions were fighting inside him. He still wanted to slap him. He very much wanted to slap him. But he wanted to listen too. He wanted that famous explanation.

“This situation is not equal at all; you can pick the lock and get yourself out of there.” he settled for a middle ground.

“Wow, Saihara-chan, you’ve gotten better since last time we talked! Did you learn how to stop trust others?” Kokichi brushed off his clarification.

“You realize this is not helping you, right? You wanted to talk to me, right?” he was still in time to change his mind and go for the slap.

He could open the grate and slap him. He just needed to grab the key.

“Not really, you need my help to leave this room! So, you have to listen to me! Besides…” he stopped for a moment, clearly building up expectation.“You wanted to hear my motive for what I did, right?”

Saihara-chan stared at him for a long moment; Kokichi was staring back, for once without his stupid smirk. He had his head tilted a little, as if he was evaluating him. Testing him. Shuichi didn’t want to play his game but he had no idea doing what would result in him playing his game. Everything looked plausible right now, Shuichi was lacking crucial information.

“Then talk, you better make some sense, because I’m not going to listen to another speech about you enjoying the game.”

“You already know that Iruma-chan was trying to kill me, but you don’t know why.” he started slowly, keeping his voice without any particular inflection. “You have to know, some time ago I asked her to make us some weapons to fight against the Exisals. They are hammers that disable electronic devices. She made them like I asked her, but then she started doubting me. She said that she didn’t want to trust anyone anymore, that she was going to make it out of here alone. For a period, I ignored her, but then she was going nuts over that computer and she hid the Electrohammers away from me. Then I decided to take a look at what she was doing with that computer and discovered the cold, hard truth! She was going to escape by killing me!” he concluded almost triumphant.

“All right, I can believe this.” somehow. “I’m not sure about the hammers thing… The rest, sure, I can believe it. But why didn’t you just do the most obvious thing and call for help? If we knew that she wanted to kill you, we could have helped.”

That looked like a perfectly obvious objection to Shuichi. Any person would have objected that as a first thing he was sure.

“Ah, but Saihara-chan! No one believes me! Who would have helped me? No one-“

“I would have.” he interrupted him, not wanting to hear any more of this nonsense. He was making him very irritated again. “I would have.” he repeated, to make a point.

“Even if you had helped me, nothing would have changed.” Kokichi shrugged. “Even if she could not attack me, she would have only changed her target. The more we would’ve pushed her in a corner, the more fiercely she would have bitten back. She was like a rabid dog; her reasoning had left her long ago. Who, in their right mind, would throw away the possibility to escape using the hammers in favor of killing someone? She was so scared of her own shadow that she thought I would rat her out to Monokuma and get her killed. She wanted to kill me to silence me. I had to get Gonta’s help—“

He _had to?_ No, most surely not.

“No, you surely didn’t need to.” he told him as much.

“Yes, I needed to. I had to make sure she would not have access to the Electrohammers anymore. You know what would have happened otherwise?” he actually knew but he didn’t want to admit it. “C’mon I know that you can figure out on your own.”

“She could have escaped on her own as soon as she could sense that the investigation was going in the wrong direction for her.” it pained him to accept that he was right.

“Yes. If you had uncovered the truth of my death, she would have used the Electrohammers on her own. You all had no idea they even existed, you would have never been able to defend yourselves from something completely unexpected. She had the winning cards. I tried to reason with her, but she was beyond saving.”

“All right, let’s assume you are right! Why kill Gonta as well?!” there should have been another option. There should have!

“He was the only one that could help me. Who else?” not for Kokichi apparently.

“ _Me._ ”

Why could he not rely on him? Shuichi wasn’t strong, he wasn’t quite on the same level of intelligence of Kokichi… but surely he could have done _something_ if only he had tried to ask him! It pained him even more knowing that Kokichi consciously decided to not seek for his help or opinion.

“No way. No offense Saihara-chan, but you cannot protect me from a fly, let alone a crazy girl with a metal pipe. I had to ask someone like Gonta. Only he or Momota-chan were strong enough to help. I couldn’t ask Momota-chan now, could I?”

“Maybe if you had wasted a bit less time messing around, Kaito would have helped you.”

Maybe if he had behaved like a normal human being since the very beginning they could have all protected him. Or they could have cooperated with this hammers thing from the beginning and this situation would not have presented itself at all. In the end, it was still Kokichi’s fault that Miu ended up as she did.

“Aren’t you happy? If he had helped me now, he would be the dead one. It’s better like this, right?”

That was _not_ the point. At all.

“Kaito would have never killed, no matter what, I trust him.”

“All right, I’m a piece of shit, let’s agree about that and call it a day, okay?” Kokichi just brushed off the subject. “Now, the important stuff. I have the Electrohammers now and I’m giving them to you guys.”

It took Shuichi a moment to register what he had said.

“ _What?”_  what was this nonsense now?

“I’m giving them to you. All of you should take the underground tunnel and go, you can use the hammers to disable the traps by hitting the control panel at the start of the tunnel and then you can open the door at the end.” he looked totally nonchalant as he said that.

If he thought he was just accept this at face value, he was mistaken.

“This is a trap of some sort, right? You have never given me anything for free. Never.”

“If you are so afraid of me, you can leave me in here, after I give you the key you can leave the room and take the key away with you. I can lock pick this lock but not that other one, it’s a security lock for a prison. I’m a genius, but even I have limits!”

Afraid of him? No, he was not afraid of him, he was afraid of what his brain was giving birth to at every step of the way. Once upon a time, he had thought he could read him, he could understand him, but now he knew better. He knew that his brain was not capable of keeping up with him. It was too easy for him to be caught in a trap.

“No, I’m not afraid of you, more like of the hammers and the tunnel. Did you place some trap in there? You aren’t coming with us, if I’m getting what you are implying correctly. This makes me even more suspicious.”

“I’m not coming because I don’t want to die, Momota-chan and his cute girlfriend will kill me if I show myself. There are no traps in there, except for the one that Monokuma prepared. You are free to not believe me, but I think that Momota-chan’s time is very limited. You may want to take the risk. Or what? You think that I want to kill you all? If that was my intention, you know that I could have done it already. I don’t need such a convoluted plan to kill you all, I’m a genius after all.”

Well, they could agree on that one.

“And very modest too.” Shuichi sighed, defeated.

“Nishishi!” Kokichi shrugged.

“Why do I believe you?” he asked to himself. “This reeks so much of a trap. I don’t even…” he sighed again.

“Saihara-chan, I never wanted to win the game. If I wanted to do that there were tons of ways I could have done so already, you know that.” Shuichi met his eyes. “You know that I never wanted to win the game.”

Shuichi kept eye contact with him for a while, trying to read something more from his eyes. Trying to make sure he wasn’t making another mistake. He had underestimated him once and it had been fatal. He didn’t want to make the same mistake. But at the same time… he was right, Kaito’s impatience was evident, this was a good chance. Assuming Kokichi was telling the truth. Shuichi was pretty positive that his last statement was the truth, but there could be an ulterior motive there hidden somewhere or maybe some angle he had not considered. He was a Detective, he was not supposed to trust anyone without proof. A reconstruction of the events, or a starting point for the investigation at the very least. He sent complex logic to hell and went to grab the key on the sink to open his lock.

“You are not going to kill me, are you?” Kokichi asked, cheerful as always.

“Shut up.” he opened the grate. Kokichi chuckled, in a good mood. “So, where are these hammers? What am I supposed to do with them?”

“I’ll bring them to you. I hid them in a safe place. Bring them to your friends tomorrow morning. Tell them you found them somewhere or that you created them, I don’t care. Think of some good lie.” he pulled out the key from his scarf.

A safe place? He really wanted to know where that was supposed to be.

“Is this ‘safe place’ the one you used until now? I searched all over for you!” Kokichi led him out the shower room.

“Yep! I already said it a bunch of times, I’m a master at hide and seek! I’ll see you in the entrance hall!”

As Kokichi started to run away, Shuichi had a terrible feeling. Like this had been too easy. Like all this was too fake to be true.

“Kokichi!” Shuichi called him before he could disappear outside of the Lab. “You better not be scheming anything, next time you trick me I’m not going to give up so easily. I’m going to hunt you down even if you hide on the moon.”

“Nishishi!” Kokichi waved a hand at him grinning and ran away.

Shuichi sighed deeply, like he had just survived a war. With Kokichi, it was always war, a psychological one. He was not sure he had make the right decision even now, probably not. He was probably going to regret this deeply. Why he had decided to trust him again? It was almost as if he was asking to be hurt and betrayed. He was acting in an irrational way, much like he had contested Kaito during the trial. Why he was so weak when it came to Kokichi?

He knew why he was, he just didn’t want to acknowledged it.

Not wanting to give him the chance to do who knows what, he hurried down the stairs, reaching the entrance. He saw, from a distance, some pink and white objects on the floor but Kokichi was not near them. As he passed the open grate he stared at the hammers for a moment, they were gaudy, flashy, clearly Miu’s designed them. Before trying to pick them up he searched for Kokichi again but as he had initially assessed, the guy was not there. He said he was going to meet him there and he lied. Big surprise.

Shuichi sighed and let it go, that was just how Kokichi rolled all the time. At least the hammers were an actual thing, it was already something. Well, of course, he was not going to take the liar’s words to face value. He was going to try these miracles of technology for himself before he was going to believe any of it. But first, he needed to put them somewhere else, of course his own room seemed to be the safest place, at least he could keep an eye on them during the night. Well, not maybe an eye, since he would be sleeping, more like an ear. If someone was to try to force his way into the room he would wake up, he was positive.

As soon as he started to collect all the hammers he immediately understood that this was not as easy as he initially thought. The hammers were actually pretty big and long, he was adding one and losing the grip on another. With a sigh, he decided to make two trips back and forth to split the task in a half. He didn’t like the idea of leaving some of them unguarded but there was no other choice.

Twenty minutes later, he was shut in his room, with a bunch of hammers in a line on the floor. He tried to think of a good spot to use one of them. Not the monitor, there could be a body discovery announcement in the middle of the night or something similar, he needed to be always up to date. Not the lights, he didn’t want to purposefully create a blackout in his own room. Not the Monopad, that was a terrible idea. Luckily, there was a tv in the room. He never used it before, he never felt any urge to. As he was thinking about it, suddenly, a thought popped out in his mind. On the TV wasn’t there something called ‘news report’? Couldn’t he get more information about the outside world using that? Why the thought never occurred to him until that same moment? It was almost as if he forgot the existence of news reports. That was pretty strange.

He jumped on his feet and turned the TV on. The TV started play an obnoxious music and Monokuma was dancing on the screen with a tutu. Shuichi grimaced and searched for a remote control with his eyes. Not finding anything he searched around the screen, he just remembered that most TV had some buttons on the side, but there was nothing. He couldn’t change the channel? Then Monokuma on screen was joined by some white rabbit that Shuichi had never seen in his life, she, if she even was a she, looked like the mascot of some kids show. Sighing loudly he turned the TV off, the stupid music was already making his head hurt. He searched around again but he could not find a remote or buttons. Really? There was really no way to change the channel? Was that it? No news report?

He should have known better than let his hopes get up.

Well, the TV was useless, he surely didn’t need to see more of Monokuma, with or without a rabbit mascot. He grabbed a hammer and hit the TV lightly, not really wanting to actually damage it, it would be a useless test if he just broke it like this. The TV gave a little flash of light, like when there has been a blackout. Shuichi pressed the button again and the TV remained silent. To be completely sure, he pressed it a couple more times and even kept it pressed down for a few seconds. It was officially dead and he sure was not going to mourn for it.

So the hammers were the real deal.

It seemed like Kokichi was telling some truth, how many ulterior motives were still left to discover he wondered. Feeling a bit more motivated and calm compared to the last night he went to bed and slept. He woke up way earlier than normal, considering that he was not exactly a morning person, and he remained in bed a moment, feeling like he was on the verge of doing something big. The day was probably going to be very hectic, whatever Kokichi had said the truth or lied. He needed to be ready for everything.

Leaving the bed, he saw on the floor the message that Kokichi left him, still rolled up and where it landed after he had thrown it at the wall. He picked it up and put it into his pocket, like a memento or a reminder. Kokichi said he was not going to go to the tunnel with them. If he was to take everything he said at face value, it would mean that Kokichi was going to remain at the Academy after they had found the exit. It was pretty unlikely, especially since he could not believe that Kokichi hadn’t tried the tunnel for himself in the first place. However, if he really intended to remain behind and they really were to find a exist somewhere Shuichi was going to go back and pick him up. Whether Kaito like it or not.

He was not going to abandon him there, no matter what he did to Gonta or anyone else.

Because he promised it to Akamatsu-san.

Yes, that was it, it was because he promised.

Not because it was absolutely unthinkable for him to leave Kokichi here alone.

Definitely.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to post the next one of the 4th of Agust but after that one the schedule will become a lot more uncertain so I don't think I'll be able to give you dates.  
> This is because I want to keep Oasis always a bit behind compared to PP and because I'm just starting the 13 today and I'm not sure when it will be finished.


	11. Oh, stop feeding me nonsense!

(Ch 63)

He had to ask Kiibo-kun for help to bring the hammers to the dining room.

Ideally, he would have asked Kaito or Harukawa-san, but that was not an option and it didn’t make much sense to ask Yumeno-san or Shirogane-san. Not to be sexist, but he was pretty sure Yumeno-san would consider this a pain and Shirogane-san would say something about him not being very gentlemanly if he had to ask a girl for help with menial labor. At least he knew that Kiibo-kun’s comments about robophobia were directed to everyone in the same way.

As soon as Shuichi mentioned the hammers as Iruma-san’s invention, Kiibo-kun became more subdued, as if he was sad to remember the inventor. That was probably the actual truth, Kiibo-kun and Iruma-san were friends after all. Or at the very least, they shared a special relationship. He still remembered seeing Kiibo-kun receive ‘maintenance’ from her, not to mention that she gave him an upgrade, his flashlight eyes.

Kiibo-kun grabbed half the hammers with care and waited to follow Shuichi to the dining room without a word. Before going, Shuichi remembered the remote control for the hanger in his pants pocket. He had kept it on himself since he had no better plan, but was that really the best choice? On a whim, he pulled it out and hid it in his closet. If that thing really was going to cause trouble as Monokuma wanted, then he didn’t want it on him. Who knows, maybe it was a tracking device or even a bomb. This was already a delicate situation. Inside the dining room, everyone else was already there seated, the tension in the air was clear. Everyone was feeling the same as him; this was going to be a long day, even though they were thinking that for completely different reasons. As soon as they saw him, the tension changed, spiking and smelling slightly of danger. Shuichi ignored Kaito’s clenched fist on the table that trembled slightly when he saw him. He ignored Harukawa-san scrutinizing them both, in wait for a signal that she needed to intervene. Yumeno-san stilled with the fork and the scrambled eggs in mid-air. She forgot her mouth was opened and she just waited, ready to start eating again or run away. Shirogane-san pressed her hands to her chest, as usual, offering very little to nothing.

Shuichi locked eyes with Kaito. He had nothing to be ashamed of. He was not going to beg for his cooperation.

“I thought you may want to know…” he started, his voice more tense than he would have liked, but he didn’t have the power to revert time. He had to take this for good. “I found these hammers in Iruma-san’s Lab yesterday night. It looks like she created these with the intention to take on the underground tunnel. I spent last night studying them, they look pretty safe. I tried to use them and they seem to work just fine. There was a manual on how to use them, so I was a bit suspicious, I thought that maybe it was trap left by the mastermind…” he didn’t mention Kokichi, this was already bad as it was, they didn’t need more fuel for doubts. “I think this is worth a shot. You were going to fight Monokuma, right? This may be a better idea. Or a better weapon. It can be both. I’m not going to say what you should do, think about it for yourself.”

After he said what he wanted to say, he placed the hammers on the table and Kiibo-kun placed the rest of them down. The silence lasted at least five minutes. Everyone was staring at Kaito, clearly waiting for his decision. At last, Kaito sighed and opened his hand.

“All right. This looks like a very good idea. Are you sure they actually work?” he asked, his voice almost tired.

“Yes, I used it on the TV in my room.” he tried to match his tone. “It worked.”

“All right then. Let’s go. It would be a pity to not use Miu’s memento for us after all!” he got up and smiled at the others. “We are going to get out of here this time!”

Each of them grabbed a hammer and marched through the door, the bad mood dissolving. They were again a group of friends. Once again, they were carrying out Akamatsu-san’s legacy. They were going to keep the promise, together.

Hopefully.

Surprisingly, they actually reached the end of the tunnel easily; hitting the panel at the start deactivated all the traps at once. They ran through, feeling confident in their chances of victory. Of escape. _It was too easy._ Shuichi’s intuition was screaming, at the back of his mind. This was way too easy, this was going to end terribly. But Shuichi ignored it, he blamed his ‘emo’ part for these thoughts. Back home, they would always call him emo. A pessimist that always wore black. He always hated it; he would call himself a realist, not a pessimist. After befriending Kaito, he started to try to do his best to become more optimistic. He was not going to stop them right there, in front of their escape route, because he was being emo again.

Their escape route was a big round metallic door at the end of the tunnel.

Everyone stared at it with a smile, barely containing their excitement, except for Harukawa-san who told them to wait before breaking out the confetti. There was still the possibility of a trap in there somewhere. Not to mention Monokuma who could pop up any moment. Shuichi was inclined to agree. His instinct was screaming very loudly. _THIS WAS TOO EASY._ Monokuma was always a step ahead of them, he surely must have known about the hammers. He thought about stopping them again, but then decided to offer to hit the control panel for the door with his hammer. They were already offering him a reconciliation hand; he didn’t need to make himself even more suspicious.

He hit the panel and then hurried to help the others open the door, feeling his heart beating fast from anticipation. They were finally going to see the outside world! Hopefully. Maybe there was just another tunnel on the other side, it was impossible to tell.

What he did not expect to see, was a sea of red.

The red was burning his eyes, forcing him to stop looking for a moment. After placing a hand in front of his eyes, he stared again into the door and saw…

He had no idea what he was looking at.

His mind could not catch up with reality because suddenly he was losing consciousness. His vision went black, sparing him from the toxic red and he felt like he was dreaming. He felt cold and heavy, but he was dreaming. So he was in his bed, he was safe, what he saw was not real. It was just a nightmare; he had yet to even leave the bed for the day.

How silly of him to believe that the view was real, it was clearly some movie scene he had seen sometime before coming to the Academy.

He heard a strange loud noise, echoing inside his head. He stirred a little, he didn’t want to wake up, if he did, he had to convince Kaito again and then challenge the tunnel again. For real this time, not in the dream. The dream annoyed him a little, he had prepared himself mentally but now it was all pointless since he had to do it all over again. He still had to wake up, but now instead of feeling impatient for the big day, he was feeling almost deceived. He had been so invested in the dream already, it felt so real…

“Congratulation! You have completed the Killing Game! Happy ending guys!”

Kokichi’s voice.

Dream or not, he was positive he was perfectly capable or recognizing that obnoxious voice anywhere, anytime. What was he doing in his bedroom? Or… not. This was not his bedroom. This was… the frigging tunnel he just dreamt of. What the hell.

When he scanned his vision to find both Kokichi, all the others and the famous door of his dream, he had to second guess himself. Was that really a dream? It had to be, right? There was no other explanation for the things that were beyond the door.

More importantly, for now at least, what was Kokichi doing there and why? How?

He looked at them, with his hands on his hips and a smile on his lips. Without waiting for them to recover or saying anything, he started talking. He narrated a long, absurd story about meteorites, the end of the world, spaceships and the killing game. He ended by saying that he himself was the mastermind.

Shuichi’s mind, almost independently of his will, grabbed all the information and memorized them, but his conscious train of thoughts was not keeping up. Kokichi was talking too fast and too big, of things that were for sci-fi and unnatural that it was hard to believe it. Was he supposed to make peace of mind with the scene beyond the door? So, while the Detective side of his mind was compiling file after file with the new information, the other side, Shuichi’s side, was focusing on the more irrational part.

_Kokichi is not the mastermind._

It was so over predictable in some kind of way. So, Kokichi was trying to pose as the mastermind after all. He had suspicion after the end of the last trial, but when he gave him the hammers, he thought it might have been a ruse for the real mastermind. In the end, it was a double ruse, he tried to pose as the mastermind after the end of the trial and then as a victim in the shower room and when he got what he wanted, to get them all there, in front of that door, he was posing as the mastermind again. Of course, him being so upfront about his intention just meant it was not even to be taken into serious consideration. So, he was really not the mastermind after all.

That was both wonderful and terrible at the same time.

_If only I could just hate you and put all the blame on you, maybe everything would become easier, but you are not the one I’m supposed to blame._

_Which makes this even more painful._

Then he just started to spout more and more nonsense, one after the other. Human experiments, test subjects, messing around with Gonta for fun and getting bored of them all. He was spouting one nonsensical sentence after the other, it was almost like he was role playing as a mad scientist. Ah, maybe because he _was_ roleplaying as a mad scientist?

That surely made a lot more sense than the alternative, Shuichi didn’t even want to waste his brain cells trying to find some logic there, because no logic was there to be found. Everything was starting to make finally more sense actually, but even though he had the frame of the puzzle finished, the central pieces were still all a jumble. He was still unable to create the whole picture.

He was forcefully snapped out of his thoughts when Kaito ran toward Kokichi, in a sad repeat of the end of the last class trial, and Kokichi actually _summoned the Exisals._ That was a surprise. How did he find a way to control these things?

Some people could have taken this as a confirmation that Kokichi was indeed the mastermind, but Shuichi was already one-step ahead of him. Kokichi had somehow found a way to make them work for him but he was still stuck in here with them, the situation had not changed at all. This meant that their real cage was never the Exisals. Even with all of them at his service, Kokichi was still unable to break free; it meant that something else was preventing him.

This pondering lasted a couple seconds and it was already too much, before he could do anything else, the Exisals had grabbed Kaito and his friend had lost consciousness.

“LET HIM GO!” Harukawa-san screamed like a wounded animal.

“Don’t even try, killer!” Kokichi was not scared of her. “I’ll squash him like a worm if you take another step!” she stopped and pulled out a knife from her skirt. Kokichi smirked. “Good. Glad you understand. Now, Saihara-chan, if I recall Monokuma gave you his remote control for the hanger, right? Give it here; I’ll trap this idiot in there.” he turned toward him and extended a hand, looking at him in the eyes for the first time.

Oh yeah, right. Now, he wanted Shuichi’s cooperation to trap Kaito somewhere. Honestly, right now, he didn’t care about whatever plan he had. Not that he had it on him in the first place, another proof that he was not the mastermind. He would have known otherwise. But Shuichi had warned him, the next time he would trick him he would not let it slide so easily.

“No.”


	12. Until you tell me the entire truth I’m not leaving

(Ch 63 – 65 – 67)

“Give it here or I’m killing your precious friend!”

Kokichi was frowning; for once he was not smiling anymore as if nothing was concerning him. Good. Because this was concerning him. Completely.

“Go ahead.”Shuichi said, sure of his conclusion.

Kokichi was not going to kill anything or anyone. This was actually a great opportunity, he could get his answers right there, by prodding at him, forcing his hand. There was the possibility that he was going to snap and kill him for real, but Shuichi was sure that he wouldn’t.

From a logical point of view, what was happening was absolutely clear. Monokuma gave Shuichi the controller for the hangar. If Kokichi was the mastermind, and he wanted that remote, why give it to him? No, the _real mastermind_ gave him the controller and now Kokichi wanted it, for some reason. This was the conclusive proof. Following this line of thought, if Kokichi was not the mastermind, then killing Kaito was going to be a murder. Like normal, class trial material, murder. In this event, it was impossible that Kokichi, the smartest of them all, was going to kill someone in front of all these witnesses. He was just going to get himself killed. No, this was the proof, the definitive, incontrovertible proof.

“Are you deaf?! I’m saying that I’ll kill him!” Kokichi shouted at him.

Shuichi almost wanted to smirk. Was that a hint of panic in his voice? But he didn’t smirk, not even close. Putting aside the whole mastermind deal, which was clearly a closed cased already, Kokichi was still taking Kaito hostage and he still led them to this trap. Luckily, Monokuma had nothing to do with any of this so they were safe but Kokichi was still messing with them. Trying to hurt them. He was especially hurting Kaito and Harukawa-san. Shuichi was not going to stand for this at all. He lost his chance back during the class trial, and then the chance to make him spill the entire truth in the shower room. This time he was going to catch him. He was going to make him stop and give him a _full_ explanation.

“Go ahead. I wanna see you kill him.”

Kokichi’s eyes were wide. Even the others were staring at him with wide eyes. He was aware that what he said came out sounding completely out-of-character; it looked as if he didn’t care about Kaito’s life. That was not it, but he could not stop and explain right this moment. Kokichi was going to use it to his advantage for sure. Shuichi was not confident that he could win an argument against him. He was surely going to pull another ridiculous lie out of his ass.

Kokichi took a step back. Then he turned and started to run away. Shuichi was momentarily left speechless, _he was going to run away._

_For real?! This is your solution?!_

“DON’T RUN AWAY, OUMA KOKICHI!”

He was running away. He was running away for real! The Exisals soon ran after him and Shuichi realized that he was going to lose him soon. If he didn’t hurry, Kokichi was going to hide somewhere again and he was going to lose him. Him and Kaito both. He took the first step when Harukawa-san stopped him.

“Wait, where do you think you are going?” her voice was low and dangerous.

“I’m going to get Kaito back and end all this rubbish.” he tried to close the argument short.

“You are not going anywhere near Kaito, I don’t trust you. Kaito was right, you work for him.”

Shuichi almost wanted to growl in frustration, but it would be very immature and it would not help his case. He needed to hurry; the Exisals were almost out of sight.

“Look, I’m sorry about earlier, but you saw it. He didn’t kill him. He’s talking big, but he won’t kill Kaito. You can think that this is some big scheme or whatever but think about this: Why would he need my help with the remote if he is the mastermind? He should own the place. He is just messing with us like usual, can’t you see? I’m going to get Kaito back, you take care of the others, _please.”_ he locked eyes with her and he saw her dangerous aura subdue a little.

She looked like she was considering the situation for a moment, he didn’t wait for her to come to a conclusion, he needed to hurry. Shuichi ran with the Electrohammer still in hand. He realized it while he was running, but he didn’t drop it, it may be useful since it was still working. When he reached the end of the tunnel and climbed the stair with a labored breath, he realized he had completely lost Kokichi and the Exisals. He was almost on the verge of panic when he realized that it was obvious where he had gone to.

He had to be into the hanger.

There were a couple of reasons. First, he specifically made it known where to find him while requesting the remote. While that ccould be explained because he needed to ask for it and there was no other way around, certainly, he chose the place for a reason. The only locked places in the Academy were the Art Lab, Hoshi-kun’s shower room and the hidden room in the library. With the exception of the hidden room, the other two rooms didn’t fit Kokichi’s purpose. He surely didn’t want to trap himself without a way out, it was impossible. He could not keep Kaito as a hostage in either of those rooms, or he would not be able to leave the room himself. The hangar instead was made specifically for the Exisals and he was somehow piloting them now. So as long as he was able to ride them, he had an escape route from the hanger even without the remote. Second, Kokichi alone was not able to contain Kaito as a person, he was too little and weak for it. That was the reason he did it using the Exisals. But for that same reason, he needed a place where the Exisals were able to enter. Hoshi-kun’s shower room was too small and the Art Lab was at the end of a very narrow hallway. Shuichi could not see how he could be able to climb up there with them.

He started to run again, the destination clear in mind.

Being cautious, he slowed down when he reached the hanger. There was no telling what Kokichi was doing right now; maybe he could get hurt by the Exisals. While he was pretty sure that he would not fatally hurt him there was a possibility that Kokichi could hurt him if he started to feel like his back was against a wall.

He slowly opened the shutter and peeked inside crouching a little, he saw Kokichi at the far back of the hanger, looking at the door of the bathroom and at something he had in his hands in turns, like he was anxious. The Exisals were not there. Kaito was nowhere to be seen as well. It was his best chance and he was not going to miss it this time. When he started to fully open the shutter, the noise attracted Kokichi’s eyes. They stared at each other for a long moment as the shutter was finally high enough for him to slip past. Kokichi seemed to snap out of a haze and he scanned the area behind Shuichi, as though he was looking for something. Maybe the Exisals.

The expression on his face was openly tense and surprisingly honest. It was almost like he had not expected him to come. But that was stupid, Shuichi told him that he would do it. And he was always ten steps ahead of others, so it was stupid to believe that he had not predicted this move. Of course, he had predicted it, maybe he was even trying to intentionally cause it. This could be a trap and his open expression could be a way to make him fall into a fake sense of security.

Nevertheless, he was not going to retreat, he was going to fall into as many traps as needed.

He walked slowly, trying to sense any potential danger, maybe the Exisals were hidden somewhere.  He was getting closer and nothing was happening. He only spared a glance at the thing he had in hands, it was a pinkish ball, which he had never seen it before. It could have been anything. Maybe it was a sleeping gas to capture him or something. Or maybe not, if he had had access to something like that he could have used it earlier and pry the remote off his hands himself. Something flashed in his face, but Shuichi could not tell what and he took a step behind. Why was he acting like he was the one being attacked? He was starting to get really irritated again. After everything he had just done and the new tricked he used to screw with him, he had no right to act like this.  

“Saihara-chan, fancy meeting you her—“

His voice almost broke as he was saying that and Shuichi was overwhelmed by a feeling of unfairness. _He didn’t get to act like this after all this._ He had no idea what exactly moved him forward, but next thing he knew his hand had made contact with Kokichi’s cheek.

For a split second, a hundred thoughts ran through his head, like ‘I never slapped anyone before’ or ‘Hope I didn’t go overboard’ or ‘He is really trying to rub me in the worst possible way’ or ‘I can’t believe I actually did it’. However, he pushed them away immediately and focused on the task at hand first.

“Cut the crap Kokichi, I don’t want to hear it.” his voice impressed himself, he had no idea where that tone came from.

Kokichi looked positively surprised when he placed a hand on his cheek. Shuichi could not exactly blame him.

“What do you mean crap, Saihara-chan? I was just greeting you!” his voice was too shocked to actually hold any meaning at all. He ignored him.

“I may believe the whole story about the end of the world, maybe, probably not, but _what was_ that last part?” he was not going anywhere until he had all the explanations he wanted.

“What? The fact that I’m the mastermind? Because I’m the mastermind.”

“Bullshit.” he shouldn’t even try with this, surely, they both knew.

Or was he underestimating him? Thinking that maybe he had not realized?

“No, I’m really the master—” why was he not meeting his eyes?

“Bullshit. You are the mastermind as much as I’m the Ultimate Serial Killer.”

“Well I can’t be sure of that! Maybe you really are the Ultimate—” he tried to smile as he said that, but Shuichi didn’t let him get the upper hand again.

“Shut up. Answer my question.”  

“Saihara-chan first you tell me to shut up, then to answer your question, chose one!” this time his answer was actually lively, probably because he truly found his answer funny.

“Kokichi!” he was not going to let him transform this into a game again.

The little liar however didn’t seem interested in that, he just looked away and pouted, all in silence. That was so very unusual for him that Shuichi was a bit at a loss for a moment. He could be deluding himself but he had a feeling that this was the most honest he had ever seen him. Shuichi was trying to decide if it was better to preach at him with all his strength or to just stay there with him in silence until he wanted to speak, to prove his determination when Kokichi finally spoke.

“…Go away…” it was very small voice.

“No, I’m not going away.” he answered with determination, but careful not to annoy him any further.

If he was acting like this, it was almost like he was implicitly admitting defeat. It may have been a bluff but it was still something new and Shuichi didn’t want to risk losing this precious progress. Maybe he was getting closer to make him talk. He looked a bit tired.

“… What do you want?” Kokichi pouted.

Yes, definitely tired.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got this chapter ready quicker than expected so here it is, as usual after PP.  
> See ya!


	13. Don’t give up on me

(Ch 67 – 69)

“I already told you. Let’s forget the part about you being the mastermind and the human experiment, whatever that was that you pulled it out of your ass at that moment. It was not even that clever. Whatever, I don’t care. All I want to know is why you took Kaito as a hostage and how were you able to do all this.”

“Why are you so sure I’m not the mastermind? You don’t have any proof.” he stared at him again with one eyebrow raised.

There was nothing definitive, but he had a lot of circumstantial evidence. Of course, he was not going to tell them to him, he was just going to use that as an excuse to drag him into an infinite argument that would probably only make him more confused.

“Because I looked you in the eyes when you told me you were not trying to win the game and you weren’t lying.” this was the weakest proof, but it was still proof.

“That proves nothing, as I’m the mastermind, I don’t need to win the game because—“

He could partially feel Kokichi’s frustration at the situation, but Shuichi was much more frustrated than him.

“Gosh, Kokichi you’re so confrontational! Would it kill you to give a straight answer for once?”

Kokichi looked away and pouted.

“You would not be able to understand it anyway. You wouldn’t believe me.”

Whenever or not he was going to believe him was another problem, right now, he just needed to trust him and say everything he knew. Shuichi could figure out the truths and lies as he was going.

“Try me.”

“I already know.” Kokichi crossed his arms.

“Try. Me.” he insisted.

Kokichi remained silent with a pout and his arms crossed. Shuichi was getting impatient, he almost wanted to grab him by the shoulders and shake him, but of course it was only an impulsive feeling of the moment. This was actually a very critical phase, it was almost like when he had to get a confession from a culprit, he had to stay calm and be persistent. He tried to adjust his hat to calm himself down before remembering that he no longer had it.

“Give me a chance Kokichi! If what you are doing is really for the sake of everyone, then I want to know! I can’t help you like this! I cannot work with you, if I don’t understand what you want me to do. Stop trying to manipulate me, just  _ask me_ like a normal human being. We can figure out something together if we try! I’m sure you were scared by that view, right? The one beyond the door? Is that why you made Gonta kill Iruma-san? No… that doesn’t really make sense… But… have you lost your hope? Were you trying to make us all realize that the situation was desperate? Please, just  _explain_  things to me! Let me help. Trust me!”

“Stupid Saihara-chan,” Kokichi sighed. “Why do you still have it in your heart to forgive me? I killed two people, you know?”

This was not about forgiveness. First there was a very important solution to find, the rest was postponed until then.

“No, I have not forgiven you. At all. What you did to Gonta was beyond ‘evil’, it was just plain cruel But I know you are trying to help. I just… know.”

“Why?” he was still pouting, maybe even more.

“I don’t have a why. It’s just a feeling I have.” there was nothing more he could say.

Kokichi sighed again, theatrically loud. He still loved his antics.

“A Detective it’s not supposed to say stuff like this. And Gonta said the same before I sent him to die. You have a good precedent ahead of you, I would be feeling totally reassure if I were you.”

“What…?” what did he mean by ‘he said the same’? Gonta said he wanted to help him because he had a feeling that he was doing something good? Was this before or after the flashback light with the memory of the outside world?

“You want me to trust you? Fine.” Kokichi snapped him out of his thoughts with something that he was not expecting. “Let’s have a nice chat after we change the scenery a bit, alright? You will probably regret this, I’m telling you.”

“Seriously?” had he really managed to convince him?

“Sure! Let’s all become the best of friends and defeat the mastermind with the power of friendship and love and hope! Or something.”

“Kokichi…” Shuichi sighed after hearing his sarcasm.

Kokichi picked up the round ball that he had dropped when he had slapped him, a strange thing that looked like a gigantic spray bottle, the hammer that Shuichi had brought and he tried to grab something else but then changed his mind suddenly. Shuichi had no idea what it had could been, there was nothing else there to grab.

“Honestly, my first plan failed because of you, my second plan also failed because of you. I don’t have any better ideas and I can’t do anything else at this point. So, sure, let’s have this little chat. You take responsibility from now on.” Kokichi, his arms full, started to make his way to the exit.

Shuichi was about to follow when he remembered, almost like an afterthought, that talking to him was not the only thing he had come here to do.

“Wait, what about Kaito? Where is he?”

“The idiot is in the bathroom. Leave him in there, I’m sure little Miss Girlfriend will come and save his ass soon enough. He won’t die.”

Shuichi had the urge to leave him and go see Kaito, just because Kokichi was annoying him, but he forced himself to be mature. He followed him out of the hanger and out the huge metallic door into the garden. Shuichi looked around, scared to meet with Harukawa-san. He was aware of how the situation would look in her eyes. He was leaving with Kokichi without Kaito. If he was seen right now, there could be no doubt about his ‘alliances’. As Kokichi was starting to climb the stairs to the higher part of the garden, he could not keep his question to himself anymore.

“Where are we going?”

“To my Lab.” he deadpanned.

Now, that was a surprise. He searched all over the place and this elusive Lab of his was never found. Did he mean that it was already opened? When? Since before this last phase?

“Your Lab? Is it open? Since when?” he realized he was lagging behind and hurried to catch up.

“Since the very beginning. I told you, I’m a master at hiding and seek. My Lab fits me. If you couldn’t find it, it’s certainly not my fault.”

From the very beginning? How well hidden was it? Shuichi ate the retort he wanted to make and focused. Kiibo-kun was walking around and could easily spot them if they were not careful. The greenery had disappeared, so they had to walk behind the dorm to get past him.  Kokichi led him in the entrance hall and the stop in the doorway. Shuichi wondered why they had stopped when he gestured, with his full arms, the floor.

“Open the tile in the middle.”

Shuichi stared at him for a moment with his mouth open. The tile in the middle. Unbelievable. He had to search for the right place to grab the tile, because obviously it was completely flat, but then he was able to lift it up on the side. Beyond the tile was a dark, narrow staircase that led into a tunnel. He really couldn’t believe that this place was here from the very start and he never found it. Such a good Detective he was. Shuichi turned to stare back at him, but he was standing right behind him making him jump a little in surprise.

“The more obvious it is, the more hidden it is.” he whispered in his ear.

The tunnel was incredibly long and it had a lot of unnecessary turns that made him confused. He had no idea where he was, in the layout of the Academy right about now, he could be anywhere. At the end of the tunnel was a round metallic golden door that Kokichi opened by rotating the symbol in the center. Inside was a round, mostly white and black room with a very high ceiling. There were many bizarre things in it, a supercar, a desk with a lot of turned off monitors, clothes and masks on the wall and a phosphorescent throne on top of a staircase. The whole placed looked like it was straight out of some movie. This could be either the secret base of a secret agent, the secret lair of a famous thief or a fanatic exposition room of one of the categories above. It looked really clichéd in that way that made you stop taking it seriously after only a moment. This looked almost like a child’s room.

“Wow, I can sense the danger looking at me from every corner!” he said with sarcasm. Maybe he was acting a little childish, teasing him like this, but Kokichi was not exactly stopping himself from doing it at every occasion he had. He pouted staring at him. “You truly are an Evil Supreme Leader. Is that a toy helicopter?” he could not stop himself from going a little further.

“Shut up! I never gave my consent for this place!”

Shuichi had the sudden impulse to laugh. He was taking such a silly thing so seriously! He was completely right, he should not take this personally at all, unless he actually liked it.

“Didn’t you said that it fits you?”

“That’s not…  _No._ It doesn’t, shut up!” he crossed his arms, pouting and frowning.

Shuichi remembered thinking that his smile was cute… his pout was cute too, maybe even more. It was so rare to catch him in a contradiction that it was too funny seeing him struggle with defeat. He really was pretty cute.

“Well, I think it fits you! You cannot truly take it seriously, just like you.”

“I’m  _offended!_ I’m totally offended! How dare you!” he yelled, making a huge scene, but Shuichi could see he was only acting and it was even more cute, if possible. He decided to cut him some slack.

“Sorry. That’s not true, I take you seriously. But this place… I cannot, sorry. On the other hand, I think it fits a more cheerful version of you, I can imagine you playing around with this stuff when you are in a good mood.” he waited for a moment, but Kokichi didn’t seem very pacified. This banter, for as much as it was cute and endearing, was taking up too much time; he needed to go back on track. “So… can we talk now?”

“Sure, let’s have this famous chat.” he was still putting up some airs, but he turned on and activated the strange object that looked like a spray bottle.

“What’s that?” he asked.

“Bugvacuum. It will keep the audience out of this room.”

“What?” here he was, immediately starting to not make any sense.

“Are you ready to enter Wonderland, my Alice?”

He didn’t like the predatory smile that he had put on right now. Not one bit.


	14. Only madness await from here

(Ch 69)

Kokichi talked a lot, seated in his chair, with his arms on the back and his legs spread. After the important part was concluded, at least in Shuichi’s opinion, Kokichi started to spin in his chair, making Shuichi slightly annoyed again. It was as if he was making fun of him even then, which was probably right. Kokichi was probably thinking that he had been stupid not to notice all this… _madness_ himself.

This was a TV show?

It was not like Shuichi couldn’t believe it at all. He had seen way stranger things in his time there. It actually made perfect sense; his problem with this whole thing was another one.

He didn’t want to believe that humans were capable of such cruelty for amusement.

But he had to right? Or else he wouldn’t be able to move forward. He couldn’t be stopped by emotion, especially since he was not trying to get Kaito to cooperate. He was trying to get Kokichi to cooperate. He already knew that Kokichi would not appreciate at all a person who was not capable of accepting reality with a cold mind. He couldn’t be stopped by feelings now. He had to think about this rationally.

And rationally speaking… it made sense. All this ridiculous… theatrics. The class trials for example. Why use such fixated method? It could be a single, obsessed person, but amusement value considering… using a different method every time sounded much more fun. Maybe the problem was the budget, but… with all of the unnecessary things that were in the building; surely, this person could afford a change of setting or at least a different formula. No… This looked like… a script.

Was this a reality show with scripted phases?

Kokichi surely was suggesting as much. Shuichi remembered him saying something about an anime about a death game and people manipulating events. So he already knew everything since that day. That little bastard loved dangling the carrot in front of his nose all the time, didn’t he?

Returning with his mind to the present, he was met with a sight of Kokichi spinning even faster. Shuichi almost wanted to karate-chop his head. He was right in mocking him, he guessed, but that was quite enough.

“Can you stop it, please? You are making me want to puke in your place.” Kokichi planted a foot on the floor pouting. Shuichi nodded at him. “Thank you. Now… this story is pretty crazy.”

“If you don’t believe me, it’s fine.” Kokichi shrugged answering immediately and with ease.

Obviously, he was mentally prepared for this eventuality.

“No, I believe you. I think. The whole thing about technology that modifies our memory is a bit difficult to accept, but I have seen the flashback lights myself, so I can’t call you a liar.”

“Is that supposed to be a joke, Saihara-chan?” Kokichi raised eyebrow looking not impressed.

Shuichi ignored this, he was more impressed by the fact that Kokichi had to shoulder all this alone. He was calm and collected right now only because he was talking about this with someone. If he had to accept all this alone, he would surely collapse in a mess. Too many thoughts. With someone else it was easier to accept things, he was feeling grounded.

“Are you alright?” he asked getting closer to him. Kokichi raised his eyebrow even higher, looking dubious. “You said that you had a headache and that it made your memories come back. That must have been tough.”

“Seriously? Even after everything I did, you  _still_  have it in you to ask me if I’m okay?” Kokichi sighed theatrically, surely thinking that he was being stupid as usual.

When had Shuichi become used to him thinking that he was an idiot? Was that even a good thing?

“I still think that you should have relied on us, but… you tried your best, right?” he tried to compliment him, not to make him stop thinking he was an idiot, that would probably have the opposite effect, but because he wanted him to know that he was there for him. That he appreciated him sharing these things. And the rest as well. “You weren’t lying when you said that you are taking responsibility for all of us. For that I’m grateful.”

Kokichi placed his face on his crossed arms, rested on the back of the chair. He stared at him for a bit, like he was trying to discern his true intention or something like that. But then he looked away and his gaze became unfocused and he slowly closed his eyes. Shuichi, confused, just waited for something to happen. Was he thinking about something? But then he saw the tension leaving Kokichi’s body and his face starting to tilt slightly, like he was going to fall from his position any moment.

“Kokichi?” he asked, concerned.

Kokichi jumped, startled, clearly waking up from his little nap. Now that was weird. Kokichi, so distrusting and always ready to cause mischief, letting his guard fall so much so suddenly? No, there was a simpler explanation.

“Kokichi? What’s wrong, you look very pale. Are you tired? Feeling sick?” he grabbed his arm steadying him on the chair.

He didn’t need him to fall and split his head open, thank you very much. Especially since it wouldn’t even be a first.

“Ah…” Kokichi looked confused but tried to cover for it immediately. “I shouldn’t have spun that much, my head is spinning like crazy!”

Was that really it? Was he really so stupid? And vertigo symptoms was motion sickness, not sleepiness.

“Don’t you have a place to lie down here?” in both cases, this was a pretty logic solution.

“Ooooh! Trying to slip into my bed, I see!” Kokichi’s voice suddenly was cheerful again. Even too much. Shuichi was not sure if he liked the fact that he was talking about slipping into beds so cheerfully. Was this because it was him, or was it the same with everyone? Was this enthusiasm real or fake? “I had no idea you were trying to flirt with me, you should have made it clearer! But I can understand, I’m extremely sexy!”

Shuichi wanted to respond with at least ten different things right now. Like for example ‘Are you saying this for real or not?’, ‘I’m not flirting with you’, ‘I’m trying to help you, because that’s what a sensible human being would do, not because I like you especially’ ‘More than sexy I would call you cute, but whatever’. And the most sneaky thought of all ‘would you like it if that was the case?’. The last one especially was banned from existence. He was not going to say that. Ever.

Kokichi pointed at the car.

“I sleep in there, like a true Evil Supreme Leader!” he declared confidently.

Was he being for real? Not the joke part, that was Kokichi being Kokichi, he meant the fact that he was sleeping in there. He could not see any other place to sleep, so it must be true. Shuichi could not believe how far he was willing to take things.

“Like a true idiot, you mean… That’s not a healthy way to sleep… How many nights have you slept in there?”

“No idea.” he brushed off the question like it was nothing, completely uncaring.

But he cared. This was not about forgiveness or not, this was human courtesy. He deserved at least that much. Shuichi hesitated a moment, he let go of his arm pondering. Kokichi was better staying in there; outside they would not greet him so well. So he had to sleep in there, but he could use a mattress at least…

“Wait for me here.”

“W-where are you going?”

Shuichi was frozen in place. For only a second Kokichi’s voice had broken a little. Like his throat had betrayed him. Shuichi realized a moment too late, what he had sounded like. ‘Wait for me here’. A normal person could probably just take what he was saying for it, but we are talking about Kokichi here. He thought he was going to drag him into a trap. Maybe he thought he was going to call his friends down there or that he was going to abandon him there and lock the exit. He had, without realizing it, put the situation in a matter of trust. And trust was not Kokichi’s best friend.

“Don’t worry. I’m just going to bring a mattress from the warehouse. I’ve seen an inflatable mattress that fills with water, you can use that.”

He tried to walk as fast as possible, looking around to avoid the others. He was not ready to give anyone any explanation right now; he needed some more time. And being followed by someone to Kokichi’s Lab was not proof that he could trust him. He was not going to mess up immediately like this. When he returned, Kokichi was still in the same spot as before, a mask in place. Shuichi didn’t comment, deciding it was best to give him some space for now and went into the bathroom to fill the mattress. Kokichi helped him, dragging it in the middle of the circular room. It was heavy, with all the water, but not to the point that they couldn’t move it around. 

“Why in the center? You can place it against a wall or—“

Suddenly, he felt two arms around him dragging down, he lost his balance and fell back on his butt. On the mattress, luckily. He was so surprised that he instinctively tried to get away from the assaulter, even though his mind knew that the only possible assaulter was Kokichi and he was probably just messing around or something.

“What are you doing?!” he asked, half annoyed, half embarrassed.

“I’m helping you slip into my bed! As I promised!” he, on the other hand, looked unconcerned as usual.

“What?! No, I’m not--!” Kokichi interrupted him by grabbing his right wrist and clenched it with enough strength to hurt. He stared into his eyes hard, trying to communicate something. “What are you--?!”

Until a moment ago, he had started wonder if he was just a shameless forward person who didn’t care about physical contact or borderline aggression, but that didn’t match with the image he had of Kokichi. And that was not Kokichi’s playful stare or even his bored or annoyed one. No, this was a stare full of seriousness and meaning. Shuichi felt a shiver down his spine. What was going to happen now?

“Now, my beloved, we have the whole room all to ourselves, right? The annoying audience is gone, we can do dirty stuff!” he shook his head, despite his cheerful tone he was not smiling. “Buuut, I’m tired! Cuddle me until I fall asleep! We can talk about dirty stuff tomorrow, okay?”

Shuichi didn’t have the time to even properly process the cuddling bit that Kokichi was already onto the next thing. When his pointing finger touched his chest, he winced a little bit. This was most certainly not the most they touched one another, just a moment ago they had touched a lot more, but for some reason it was more effective. Maybe because before there was a feeling of shock in the way, while now he was simply tense. The first time he wrote something Shuichi didn’t understand, he only understood that he was writing by the time he got to the end of the sentence. Kokichi could read it in his eyes, so after a moment he sighed in silence and started over.

_-This is a Virtual World-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! ...?  
> No, really, I said I was not sure about the schedule but I'm still following it anyway xD   
> Point is, I already have the skeleton of this part done... I just need to change the POV and that's not too bad.   
> For this reason next is Monday 20th as normal and probably... the schedule will remain the same until the end.   
> As you can see, as I told you before, there is going to be a lot of repeats... I can't give a reaction of things without repeating the dialogues, it's really a big mess to transform everything into an indirect dialogue and such.   
> I hope it's at least a good enough transposition of the POV :)


	15. Inside an hostile world

(Ch 69 – 71)

Deciphering Kokichi’s fast paced writing, considering that the clothes were making it even more difficult to understand where he was starting and where he was ending, was absurdly challenging. If what he was writing about programmers and managers was the truth, then he could see that there was a good reason, but was it really? Could he really believe something so absurd? A Virtual Reality simulation? Really? Like… was he supposed to believe that this was not his real body, but an avatar? Even though he was feeling pain and he was hearing, seeing and touching things normally? Assuming Kokichi’s story was true then the reason why he was not able to distinguish between reality and virtual world had to be due to the fact that his mind was being toyed with by this program thing. Was he really going to believe Kokichi even when he was clearly stating crazy theories as facts?

Did he really have any other choice?

Suddenly he was pushed off the mattress.

“Wow, you suck at cuddling! Come back when you have improved!” Kokichi stuck his tongue out at him.

Shuichi got up from the floor completely thrown off balance. He could clearly see Kokichi’s eyes searching for something in him. Acceptance or maybe rejection, probably. He had no idea which one he’d rather convey. He probably found the answer he was looking for, or maybe he found nothing, because he broke eye contact and turned, curling up on his other side. Shuichi’s mind was empty.

He knew he had to make some kind of decision, but he was not thinking properly, there were too many things to absorb all at once. Any answer he could give now was probably going to be the wrong one. This was not something that could be decided while he was tired and confused. Speaking of tired, Kokichi looked really drained of energy. This had been a very long day for everyone, for him, probably even more so. He had already reached the conclusion that Kokichi, as genius and crazy as he was, was still a human being. And sleeping on a mattress without even a blanket was unbearable for Shuichi to see.

“I’m going to my room to grab some blankets. You look cold. I’ll be back soon.”

He glanced behind his shoulder as he reached the entrance, but Kokichi had not moved an inch from where he was. Shuichi was overtaken by a feeling of urgency; there was no time to waste. It was quite late, so the others were probably already in bed, he was pretty sure that Harukawa-san had rescued Kaito from the bathroom and now they were probably thinking he had been kidnapped by Kokichi. Clearing up all these misunderstandings would be tough. How was he going to explain any of this to them? They would never believe it, especially since it came from Kokichi. If Shuichi already had this much trouble, he only could imagine Kaito or Harukawa-san. No, he needed some kind of concrete proof or something to convince them. Kokichi had used Kiibo-kun’s Lab as an example of an inexplicable occurrence and he had to agree. Now that he was thinking back, both his Lab and Chabashira-san’s Lab had appeared in an illogical way. Shuichi had studied laws of physic. None of them was able to explain either events. But could that be called concrete proof?

Not even close.

Walking almost on tiptoes, he reached his dorm room, anyone could be still lurking around. Once again, if any of them were to catch him, he would not be able to go back and Kokichi would most likely think that he had chosen to escape. He didn’t want to escape. If nothing else, it was because he was the only one that could talk to him at this point. The others would never listen to anything he was saying. He was the only possibility to use Kokichi’s brain again. This time he had to be more careful though. He could not let Kokichi run the entire game alone anymore.

Once he was in his room again, he took a look at the remote control. It was still where it was before, ulterior proof that Kokichi was not the mastermind, otherwise Monokuma would have already recovered it while they were busy talking. Shuichi reached in his pants pocket for the little message that Kokichi had left for him. He had no more use for it and the message itself was not really sweet or anything. On the contrary, it was infuriating. He could just throw it away.

He should just throw it away.

He turned and opened the drawer where he knew there was the extra blanket, grabbed it and left the room. The way back was still clear, but Shuichi was wary of his own shadow. He only felt safe when he was finally inside the tunnel again. He even let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. So pathetic, to be so scared of a little sneaking around. Kokichi was still where he had left him.

Shuichi took off his shoes and left them near the entrance, then moved around as quietly as possible. He reached the mattress and peeked beyond Kokichi’s shoulder. He had his eyes closed now, his figure was a little less tense and his two fists were opened a little bit. But even though he was probably sleeping, he still looked ready to fight at any moment. His eyebrows were furrowed, his mouth closed in a thin line and he had black shadows under his eyes. It didn’t look like a peaceful sleep at all.

Placing one knee on the mattress as gently as possible, he tried to cover Kokichi from the awkward angle, but he shifted too much weight on his knee and the mattress slid Kokichi towards him an inch. He tensed up immediately and Shuichi froze. Crap, he had awaken him without wanting to. His eyes found him immediately, but he didn’t look very awake.

“Sorry, I was trying to not wake you. Go back to sleep.” he said softly.

Kokichi rubbed his eyes, but remained where he was.  Shuichi waited a moment before reaching the conclusion that he was allowed to finish his work. He placed his other knee on the mattress and worked as fast as he could so to give Kokichi the opportunity to fall asleep again immediately. When he had finished he sat down searching for something to do or think. There was too much he wanted to think about, but not alone, if possible. Kokichi was always capable of making him see things from an angle he had not considered. He stole a look at Kokichi’s face, but he was still looking at him. So he was not going to go back to sleep?

“What do we do now?” he asked him, knowing he should not.

Kokichi shifted slightly, dragging the blanket up to his ear.

“Do whatever you want with this information. I’ve given it to you,” he answered in a weak tone.

“Do you think I should talk to the others?” again, he knew he should not ask but he could not stop himself. Kokichi only shrugged. “That doesn’t seem like a good idea, they wouldn’t believe me, especially since this info came from you…” he kept going, waiting for some kind of reaction, but he was not getting any. “What were you trying to do by the way? You never explained that. I understand why you had to do all that to get the prize, even if I’ll never accept it, but then what?”

“It doesn’t matter anymore.” Kokichi’s voice was almost a sigh; he was barely able to hear it.

“Kokichi, I need your help. Your brain works better and faster than mine, I need your opinion and input. I can’t do this alone, I’m not you,” he sounded a bit too pleading for his liking, but there was nothing to be done there.

When Kokichi still didn’t answer, not even to insult him or tease him a little, he looked at his face from above. Kokichi had his eyes closed, his eyebrow were still furrowing. He didn’t look relaxed, only unhealthy. Maybe he had a fever? Was a fever even possible inside a virtual world? If he was really going to believe it was a virtual world, then he had to start reasoning on programming terms. They could program a fever, surely, but would they go through all the trouble? Well, that would not be the strangest thing that he had seen in this place.

He placed a hand gently on his forehead. Kokichi opened his eyes again and their gazes met. Kokichi’s purple eyes were not as bright as they always were and the skin under Shuichi’s hand was cold. So, not a fever. But cold was not good either, it should be warm. For a moment, he wondered if skin was always cold inside the virtual world, but he answered himself immediately. Of course not, he was feeling that he was cold because he was warmer than him, and he was pretty sure that Kaito’s hand was even warmer. No, it was Kokichi who was unnaturally cold.

“You’re ill, aren’t you? You’re freezing and look horrible. Is the blanket not enough? Probably not…” he searched for something else to add warmth, but there was nothing very useful in there. Only some capes that looked colder than the opposite. He scolded himself for having brought there only the spare blanket; he should have brought the one he was normally using as well. “I don’t really know what to do, but…”

There was something he could do, actually, but… Had he enough courage to pull it off? Right now, Kokichi would probably not kick him in the balls, but he could always do it later, when he was feeling better. But at the same time he wanted to do it. Both because Kokichi needed the warmth and this was the best way and because honestly, he was pretty sure he deserved a break himself. If he didn’t like it, he could kick him later.

Moving slowly to not disturb him too much, he laid down next to him, over the blanket, and scooted closer to him, in order to pull him into his own warmth. He was not going to _cuddle_ with him, the thought was already making him warming up more than necessary, but he was going to sleep right next to him. Sharing the space and all that. As soon as he started to feel him move, probably to kick him in the balls, he immediately stopped pulling him closer. Kokichi turned to stare at him. His eyes were not as difficult to handle as they always were, but he was still pretty unnerving.

“No good? Should I go away?” he immediately planned his retreat.

“Whatever, just stay put.” he answered after only a moment, in a flat tone.

It was so uncharacteristic of Kokichi, both the reaction and the answer itself, that he felt even more worried. This didn’t seem like he was just a little under the weather. They did kind of find a position after that, surprisingly Kokichi really accepted the situation. Shuichi tried to stay as still as possible, giving him the opportunity to fall asleep again. Shuichi tried really hard not to let his mind wander in any direction, so he just emptied it and tried to fall asleep as well, if possible, but he had to accept pretty quickly that that was not going to happen. Kokichi was too close to him right now and he could feel him under the blanket, he could feel his breath as well, his back moving a little every time.

He was… touching him.

Yes, that was very obvious, but so very not obvious at the same time. He was touching him and he was letting himself be touched, something he never thought was possible. Shuichi started to feel himself warming up, maybe with embarrassment. The situation was pretty odd, wasn’t it? The light in the Lab was still lit, so he could see Kokichi’s tense face clearly, so close to him. And he could feel his back under his hand. And his breath. And he was… _so normal._

He was like a normal person, a normal teenager. This situation was so very weird because Kokichi… was not supposed to feel like a normal teenager. Even when he was sick, even when he was defeated… he was still a mythological creature. A ghost. A poltergeist maybe. This image of Kokichi was not coherent with _his_ image of Kokichi.

Did Kokichi possess this ‘normal’ side as well or was this some kind of weird mistake? A one in a lifetime event?

Feeling extremely stupid, he followed with his fingers along the shape of Kokichi’s spine down his back. He was not really sure what he was trying to do, no matter where he could touch him, the result would not change, he was clearly a person. Not a ghost. Still, his mind did not believe this phenomenon. When he reached the end of his back, he didn’t go any lower. No matter the weirdness of the situation, he had to be completely out of his mind to even think about touching Kokichi’s… butt. So he raised his hand and gave an experimental poke at his thigh.

Kokichi opened his eyes once again and stared at him, Shuichi immediately broke eye contact. This was really, really embarrassing. Not that he had not accounted for the possibility of Kokichi being still awake, only… how could he explain? How could he explain the fact that he needed to convince his brain that he was a corporeal being?

“Hmm, sorry…” he tried to stop his embarrassed smile from showing. “It’s just…  _you are real.”_

“Huh?!” Kokichi’s eyes sparkled a little.

Nice to see at least that managed to catch his attention. There was hope to see him back being his usual annoying self. Was he really missing his usual annoying self? Well, he was in a lot of trouble then. Yep.

“I don’t know how to explain it… Until now, you were so… incorporeal. You were like an ethereal creature, like a ghost, see?” he could not look at him, this sounded even more stupid saying it out loud. “You have that aura around you that says ‘don’t touch me’, and on top of that, you are so pale and small. I don’t think I ever saw anyone touch you, except in violent cases, like with Harukawa-san or Kaito. It’s like… you keep people away, you don’t look like something that one can touch.”

Kokichi’s expression was filled with disbelief.

“What are you even blabbing about; you touched me a bunch of times already.”

“True.” it was true, but that was not the same… he barely could understand the difference himself, let alone explain it to someone else. “But there was always an objective. Like the time I cleaned your cut? There was always another reason, I never touched you casually, like with a hand on the shoulder or something?” this was really the best explanation he could offer. He was not going to explain that this was an… intimate situation. Much more than all the other times. It was not actually intimate, since they were just sleeping close to one another; it was not like they were _sleeping together._  Shuichi was outside of the blanket, so it didn’t count. Maybe. Probably. In Shuichi’s head at least. “Kaito does that with me all the time, I got used to it. That’s when I realized that I could never imagine myself touching you casually the same way. Yet, here I am now. I was just surprised, you’re actually real. Good.” it was time to shut up. Really.

Kokichi raised an eyebrow at him for a moment, but then sighed and closed his eyes. He probably had dismissed all he had just said as total nonsense. It was fine by Shuichi. Better to be dismissed than to make him disgusted. He took a deep breath and tried to relax and stop thinking. In a few moments, Kokichi’s body lost its tension and Shuichi knew he was finally sleeping. Smiling he placed his arm in its previous position and fell into a nice, warm sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter the 24th.


	16. For everyone’s sake

(Ch 71 – 73)

When Shuichi woke up it was impossible to understand what time it was, but one thing was certain: it was Kokichi’s mischief time. It was absolutely obvious after seeing Kokichi’s expression and his sparkling eyes.

“What are you thinking?” he asked him, his voice a little husky from the sleep.

Kokichi’s eyes fixed on him, but his expression didn’t change.

“I was just thinking that we could create the best trash in history if you could be my boyfriend and ally. But since you are neither, I guess we’re stuck.” Kokichi shrugged, sitting up.

If he could be… _what?_

Shuichi’s mind started to work at light speed. Was he just joking? Or was he serious? What was the serious part and what the joke? Should he consider the joke the part about this being his plan or was he joking about wanting him as a boyfriend? Or was he joking about both things? Or neither? He could not give him any kind of answer without knowing that for sure.

“O-oh, is that so? What do you mean?” he hurried to sit up as well. He needed his full attention.

“Nah, nah, you will never able to lie that well, forget it!” Kokichi waved his hand and started to search through the food he had hidden in the room.

“Explain it to me before you tell me to forget it!” Shuichi followed him closely, trying to contain his impatience.

He absolutely wanted an explanation for what he said. He was not going to get distracted so easily.

“Right now, the Bugvacuum is activated, so the audience can’t see what we’re doing.” Kokichi met his eyes for a moment. Shuichi easily understood that he was trying to communicate a double meaning. “You’ll have to keep the act on for them as well for this to work. You are not capable of doing this for a long period, you see, the act must look as natural as possible. If I stop the Bugvacuum now, it will be evident we are not a couple. Just forget it.”

So, to summarize, he wanted to pretend to have a relationship with him to distract the audience or something like that. This answer was not very satisfactory. Was Kokichi ‘scarifying himself’ for the sake of the plan or was he not bothered by the possibility of acting like a couple? And why was Shuichi feeling that his pride was hurt? He was perfectly capable of being Kokichi’s boyfriend! Or maybe, it was something else that was hurting. He clenched his fists. If this was a challenge, he could take it on. And if it was not then… he could at least send Kokichi a signal. He was not so stupid to not see that Shuichi had a certain amount of attraction for him. It was not love, thank god, it was not love, but certainly, he didn’t mind the idea of spending more time with him.

“I can do it. I’m positive.” he said with all the confidence he could muster.

“No way! Your lies are pretty shitty!” Kokichi just brushed him off and bit an energy bar.

He was munching on it in high spirits. He looked like a hamster. He was not going to get distracted by his cutesy act!

“Then tell me how I should prove it.”

“Well, could you kiss me if I say it’s necessary?” Kokichi smirked at him.

He was not expecting that. At all. His mind was blank, except from embarrassment. Had he really to be so… direct? And arrogant. He was always to sure and cocky. Always sure he was going to win the argument, to put him in checkmate. This, without any doubt, was his closing move. He was already sure he had won the match. And he was right, he could not _kiss him._ Could he…? Could… he…?

Kokichi was munching on his bar still, without a care in the world. He found his eyes and his determination solidified. _He could kiss him and he was going to._

Kokichi put the rest of the bar in his mouth in one big bite and started to drink water from a plastic bottle. Shuichi was not capable of deciding if he was really uncaring or if he was keeping up the act to make him lose his courage and admit defeat. Well, he had it coming.

When he was in front of him, he was momentarily distracted by the purple of his eyes. Why were they so purple, it was such a lively color, especially from so up close and when he was staring back with his eyes wide open. They were… distracting. He placed a hand on Kokichi’s cheek slowly, his hand was trembling slightly, and it was moist and a bit cold. Shuichi cursed his nervousness; he didn’t want it to show so blatantly. He closed his eyes and just went for it, without even taking a proper measurement, he was sure it would show just how clumsy he was if he were to hesitate even a second.

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” Kokichi shout made his eyes snap open in a scare and even more surprising was the feeling of losing his balance.  

Shuichi was at a loss for words for a moment, but recovered quickly. Mortification and anger were fighting to lash out.

“I’m kissing you, what does it look like?” he settled for a middle ground.

“But…?!” Kokichi’s tone was direct, without any particular inflexion but he stopped immediately. Surely realizing that he was slipping out of character. Honestly, he could be so infuriating. “I get that I’m irresistible and everything, but I didn’t take you for the type to jump at every opportunity!” there. _Infuriating._

“ _You_ asked  _me to_!”

“So what? Would you kiss anyone just because they asked?” Kokichi puffed his chest.

“ _No, I wouldn’t!”_  Shuichi slapped his hands on his face to keep himself from placing them around his neck. “Kokichi, you are  _so stupid_ sometimes!” Kokichi gasped a little and his cheeks were a little more pink than usual. “If I’m getting on board with this plan or whatever this is…” Shuichi lost his courage half-way though, realizing what he was saying and looked away. “It’s  _because I don’t need to act.”_

The silence stretched. Shuichi was not the one that was going to break it. No, he was going to wait for Kokichi to answer his feelings. He could reject him if he wanted to, he could accept that, but he was not going to eat his words and back away. He would have liked it better if he could muster the courage to see what kind of face Kokichi was making right now. Maybe he had an open expression for once. Whenever it was of happiness or disgust, but still open. Not a lie. He would have really liked to have enough fortitude to see it with his own eyes.

Then he heard Kokichi’s footstep and he turned sharply to look at him, surprised. Kokichi was getting closer, not farther. What was his intention? Kokichi was looking at him with a phantom of a smile on his lips; Shuichi could not read that expression at all. Next thing he knew he was being hugged.

“Oh, but you’ll need to act…” he whispered in his ear. Shuichi tensed, feeling Kokichi’s breath on his earlobe and making his blood raise several degrees. “Tell me, Saihara-chan, are you familiar with Romeo and Juliet?”

“Romeo and Juliet?” he asked automatically.

Kokichi moved away a little and grinned.

“Two families fighting each other. A forbidden love born in a tense atmosphere… Secret meetings during the night… Exchanging secrets under a full moon… Does this ring a bell?” he raised his eyebrow, implying that there was only a correct answer to his question.

“You mean…” Shuichi had an idea of what he was implying but he wanted a confirmation.

“I mean that you are going to work for me. You’ll be my spy. You are going to go back to the others and pretend to hate me, meanwhile, you are going to meet me during the night and tell me everything. Ah, and of course we are going to be lovely-dovely, what kind of Romeo and Juliet would it be otherwise?” he concluded with a light shrug.

Yes, that was what he had thought of but then what? What was the end goal in doing that? Surely, there had to be one.

“But what’s the point of—“

Kokichi quickly placed a finger on his lips, smirking.

“The point is, my beloved, that this is what I’m telling you to do. Unless you have a better idea?” he tilted his head, challenging him to contradict him.

Shuichi could not contradict him. Not without knowing the full plan. It could have been a good plane like a terrible one, it was impossible to tell.

“All right, what I have to do exactly?” for now he was going to wait and see, studying Kokichi to understand as much as he could.

“I told you, for now, you are going to go back to the others and do whatever. If my life is in danger, find a way to save me, if you can, tell me all about their plans. I’m going to cause some more mischief and you are going to help me! It’s nothing too complicated, we just have to get the audience’s full attention.”

Kokichi took a step back and stared at the Bugvacuum thing for a moment. He seemed to have reached some sort of conclusion as he picked the thing up moving it, and then he approached Shuichi again with a grin. He started to open the buttons of his black jacket as if it was nothing. Shuichi could feel every muscle of his body contracting.

“Okay, now what are you doing?!” he hated how his voice sounded, like he was a scared little kid.

“Ever heard of make-up sex, Saihara-chan?” he looked up to him with a huge smile.

“WHAT?!” the hell was he implying?!

“Basically it went like this: First, I brought you here to talk, and then I was able to convince you of my innocence. After that, we finally went all out in a hot night of passion and  _there_ is where the audience is going to enter into play. Understand?” he didn’t look like he was joking.

“So in other words…” he took what he was saying seriously and tied to think about this logically. “The production cut this scene from the broadcast because we were having…” nope, not saying it. “Because this is not suited for TV. This will be your excuse for the absence of last night’s footage?”

“Bingo! If the production is SMART,” he yelled still working the buttons, “they will understand that this is the best way to recover from this mess. The audience will love it.”

“So… Why are you opening my jacket…?” he asked for his own mental sanity.

“Because, Saihara-chan! We are going to lie in bed and fake our beautiful awakening from our first night together.” Shuichi’s jacket was on the floor too quickly, he was not ready.

“B-but! I don’t want to get undress!” he started to escape, knowing he was not helping his image in Kokichi’s eyes but not really caring at the moment.

“Don’t worry. This is enough.” Kokichi proceeded with undoing the knot of his own scarf and letting it fall down on the floor close to the jacket. “I don’t want you to be naked on TV either. I’m the one who is going to take a look at the merch first! Me and only me!”

If this was his acting skill…

He was amazingly good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter 28th.


	17. I’m not sure I can keep up with your pace

(Ch 73 – 75)

He had no idea how things had developed so fast but he was currently under a blanket with Kokichi curled up right next to him. And he was smirking at him. He was smirking like he was having the time of his life.

“Ready for the morning after the first night of marriage?” he said, the smile really clear in his voice.

Shuichi had no idea if he should feel lucky or very unlucky. It was both good and bad at the same time. He was happy but he wanted to go back in time and take this a bit slower. This was confusing and embarrassing.

“Can you stop saying these things? It’s really embarrassing, probably even more since it’s not even true.” he could feel his cheeks burn.

“Oh, so it would be less embarrassing if it was true! Interesting, I’ll keep it in mind!” Kokichi chuckled enthusiastically, like he just said a very nice thing.

“Please don’t. I have a feeling I’m going to regret having said this.” he was going to take this literally, wasn’t he?

“Nishishi!” Shuichi felt his breath on his ear.  “I hope you are good at acting half what you think you are.”

After he sent him a slightly mocking look he started to search for something, probably the machine that was sucking the cameras. His neck turned at a new angle and Shuichi suddenly could see the muscles of his neck working under his skin. Not to mention that he could clearly see his collarbone. He had no idea that his jacket would end this way, with his large neckline, there was a lot more to see than he was expecting. Shuichi had absolutely no idea why but the sight went straight to his blood, raising the temperature again. He didn’t need any kind of problem right now, thank you very much, so he scolded his own body for reacting about something so small and stupid.

“What?” he hadn’t even noticed that Kokichi was staring at him again.

“Ah, just… I never saw you without your scarf before…” Shuichi tried to cover for it weakly.

“Don’t stare at me with that face!” Kokichi almost yelled, but then his expression changed suddenly.“No wait… Actually, keep staring at me with that face, you look like an idiot in love. It’s perfect. Keep going Romeo-chan.” he nodded two times.

How infuriating could this guy be? Especially when he was poking at things that stung like his ‘feelings’ for him.

“Can you stop ridicule my feelings, please? And don’t call me Romeo-chan.” he didn’t need another stupid nickname.

“Would you rather be called ‘honey’?” Kokichi held his fists in front of his chest, trying to do a cutesy gesture.

“No.” Shuichi sighed loudly. “And here I thought Saihara-chan was awkward. How naïve of me.”

Kokichi grinned but it lasted only for a second, soon he returned serious.

“I’m turning off the Bugvacuum. Be ready.”

Kokichi pressed the switch and the noise in the background finally stopped. Surprisingly, Kokichi shifter position until he found one that was apparently comfortable for him, right next to him, with his face touching his chest. Shuichi tensed at the unexpected contact but then soon welcomed it, if only with still a bit of embarrassment. He could get used to this feeling. He could get used to the softness of Kokichi’s hair, when he decided to reciprocate a little the gesture, showing his appreciation and maybe encouraging him a little. Kokichi was surprised to feel his touch but then he buried his whole face in his shirt, like he wanted to hide. Soon they were settled into a comfortable routine that Shuichi didn’t want to break. That Lab was like an oasis. In there he could forget all the anxiety about the present situation and what the future would have in store for them. In there only he and Kokichi existed. And when Kokichi was cuddling with him like this, how could he ever want to leave?

It was quite the loss when Kokichi sharply broke their position and threw his arms in the air to stretch in an exaggerated manner. He opened his eyes and his purple eyes were sparkling. Shuichi didn’t have time to react in any way as Kokichi’s nose was placed on his neck, once again raising a bit the temperature of his blood.

“Good morning, my beloved Saihara-chan. Have you slept well or are you still sore?”

He was… what? Oh, no… Not sexy role-play! He could not deal with that! He was not a… dirty talker!

“W-what—I mean… N-no I’m fine…?”

Kokichi’s eyes flashed with humor, he was having some fun, obviously. Fun at his expenses. Kokichi, fast like a snake, placed a kiss on the tip of his nose and then stared at him in the eyes smirking. Shuichi’s brain was currently experiencing technical difficulties.

“Aww! My beloved is being modest? You weren’t so modest yesterday! I would have never expected you to be so… aggressive. I’m kinda surprised, honestly. I never thought you would be an S! But I guess I should have expected it,  _Shuichi Saihara_ , double S.” Shuichi could only see Kokichi’s sparkling eyes, the rest had melted in a blurry background. They were just that hypnotic. “Hmm? No rebuttal? I see now! You’re a wolf in the night and a puppy in daylight! Cute! Very cute, S-chan!”

It was like he had been pulled out of apnea when Kokichi jumped on his feet and abandoned him on the mattress. He needed a moment to breathe, he was overheating. He tried to sit up to breathe a little better but Kokichi literally jumped, knees first, on the mattress making the water pounce him back off balance.

“Now, as every good couple should do, I’m going to feed you! Say ‘ahh!’”

Shuichi stared at Kokichi, who was pointing the chocolate at him, eyes bright, a smile not really hidden and clearly in the highest spirit he had ever seen him. He was… beautiful. Maybe not in the classic sense, Kokichi was more on the cute side than not on the handsome one, but still, it was not just his appearance. His mood and enthusiasm was making him whole sparkle, he was a joy to look at. Shuichi could really wish this to be his life everyday from now on. He would not mind it.

Strong of his new mood he tried a bold move and took the chocolate from his hand. He took a piece for himself and one he gave it back. If he was going to do the super cliché thing of feeding his lover then Shuichi could keep up. Kokichi looked very surprised for a moment but not in a bad way, Shuichi could clearly see a little bit of pink on his cheeks and a sparkle in his eyes that he wanted to call amusement. Every time Shuichi was handing him a little square Kokichi would, completely on purpose, miss a little the bit and brush his lips on his fingers. Shuichi wanted to punch him because, _dammit_ , he could not keep up with that! He was not so shameless!

It was a relief when he could finally get up, and recover his jacket as well. He was feeling a little more comfortable with it. Like he could confront the day ahead of him better. But Kokichi was making some strange faces.

“What’s wrong?”

“Hmm… I don’t like to be in these clothes after I did _stuff_ with you! I wanna take a shower! I feel filthy!” he said very plaintively.

Shuichi felt his cheeks colored at his insinuation, but got out of it pretty quickly. There was no need for him to get so flustered since it was a clear lie and he knew it well.

“Well… there is no shower in here… What am I supposed to do about that?”

“Ah, thank you for your offer, I’ll take on it! Sooo… You like me, right?” Kokichi grinned at him.

“Y-yes…” he almost didn’t want to answer, it felt like a trap.

“Theeeen! Help me out! You friends will kill me if I were to show myself!” he faked some tears. “Distract them! Do something!”

Shuichi grimaced, he didn’t like the tears trick so much as some others. It was really the most obnoxious one, it made him seems petty, but he nodded. Kokichi placed his hands on his chest and looked up at him seductively. Shuichi was pretty reluctant to admit that it was working better than it should.

“Thank you, Saihara-chan. Next time, maybe we can take a shower together, okay?” and there was the killer line.

For a moment Shuichi regretted the whole thing, he wanted to run away. _Why his stupid mind was already picturing the scene, this was not okay._ It was not difficult, he just needed to change the scenario, add water running, delete the clothes and _voilà!_ The scene was already completed. He just had to suggest this stuff while being so close, hadn’t he?

“Ah, before you go. I have a special mission for you.” Kokichi took a step back suddenly, his mood completely changed.

“What is it?” his mind focusing again on the present and not on some fantasy.

“I need you to explore the school once again. Drag the others along too, I want to take a shower in peace!”

“What am I searching for?” he had to tell him at least that.

“Remember the writing in the grass? Horse A? I wanna know if there is anything else around.”

Horse A? Did he mean the _former_ writing? The one that now was displaying a very clever little retort? ‘This world is mine Kokichi Ouma’? That Horse A?

“Isn’t that your idea of a joke?” was he mocking him?

Kokichi hesitated half a second then his eyes lit up.

“Ah, so you have seen my beautiful message! Did you like it?” Cheerful as usual, exasperating as usual. “Buuut… Only the additions were my doing. ‘Horse A’ was not me.”

“Really?” the world was out of his mind even before he had time to think about it.

He had just taken for granted that it was completely fake. Then, what was that writing, actually?

“Really, really! I hate lies and jokes!” he stared at him with a serious face, his eyes slightly more wide than usual. Shuichi contained a chuckle. Right. Sure he did.

“Okay, do you think it’s something important?”

“Probably. Now, be a good boyfriend and make me happy, pretty please!”

He pleaded him with his ridiculous seductive voice again. Really, it should not work. It should not!

“Yeah, yeah, no need to be pushy.” he smiled taking some distance and a moment to evaluate the situation. So he was going to leave and find a way to make the others cooperate… In the meantime, Kokichi would… do what? Remain here? “I’ll see you later… Right?”

Kokichi didn’t answer, which made him a little worried. Maybe he was going to do something that had to remain a secret. He took a look at himself in the mirror, since he had just got up from fooling around in a blanket, and that sounded way to dirty for what it really was. He was about to leave when he noticed the distant expression that Kokichi had. It was impossible to understand what he was thinking. But Shuichi had a bad feeling. He was not going to do something dangerous, was he? No, actually, it was probably just like that, he was surely going to do something stupid by himself, as always. Should he confront him about it? No, Kokichi would never admit and he would not stop anyway. Shuichi tried to think about what to say but he could come up with only one idea. A good luck charm, that maybe could convince him to value his life a bit more. Virtual or not.

He kissed him on the cheek before he could really stop and think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I'm late, again, yes, I'm very much out of my house and incapable of using internet when I want to.  
> Yes, I don't want to use the option of auto-posting because I can't check and I can't trust it.  
> And yes, this chapter has maybe more mistakes than usual because I couldn't do a very good review, since, again, I'm not home these days.  
> Tomorrow, Somewhere is probably going to be even later, since I have a very long car travel ahead of me, but next Present Side will be back when it's supposed to be!


	18. Starting a new crusade

(Ch 75 – 77)

As Shuichi was walking toward the dining room he could feel his heart beat fast. He was nervous. Very nervous.

He had to convince the others that he was not a traitor, and for that reason he had to fake himself as an ex-hostage of Kokichi. The mastermind. When he wanted to do the opposite. He wanted to tell everyone ‘guys, I was right! Something is up here and Kokichi is more complex than you think!’. But Kokichi had told him that his monitor was letting him see the dining room, so even if he had wanted to, and Shuichi didn’t want to, he could not betray him and tell the others the truth. His heart was beating so fast. How could this be a virtual reality if he could feel his heart so clearly? And all the things he had felt until today? Honestly, he wanted to believe Kokichi without a doubt, Kaito-style, but he still had a lot of trouble believing this whole thing.

But the possibility of everyone being still alive, outside, was absolutely heartbreaking.

He opened the door for the dining room with slightly unsteady hands, inside were all the others. All of them, including Kaito of course. They all fell into a long silence and stared at him. Shuichi was very uncomfortable.

“What’s wrong…?”

“Bro! You are alive!!” Kaito got up in a hurry and hugged him.

Shuichi stifled but then relaxed.

“Y-yeah, of course…” he sighed in relief. It didn’t seem as though they were very mad at him.

“No, wait. How come you’re here? You were taken by Ouma, right?” Harukawa-san was staring at him hard.

“Ah, yeah… I thought I could reason with him… I wanted him to release Kaito so…” Shuichi was aware that he was stumbling a bit with his words, but this was his best. And luckily he would often sound unsure so maybe they would not be suspicious. “We agreed in an exchange of hostages. I thought I could talk him out of whatever he was doing, so I offered myself—“

Kaito cut him off by grabbing his head and ruffling his hair.

“Now this is my sidekick! You’ve been really courageous!”

“And it worked? You actually convinced the _mastermind of the killing game_ to stop? How come you’re here now?” Harukawa-san was not convinced at all, and Shuichi’s throat was hurting a little from nervousness.

“Ah, no, not exactly. I just used a moment of distraction to escape, that’s all. He is not convinced.” Shuichi shook his head, trying to gulp and ease the grip on his throat.

“Where was he keeping you imprisoned?” she asked, a little more gently this time, maybe it was working.

“In the hidden room in the library.” it was the only plausible place to say. He could not prove them that he was being taken anywhere else and surely they wanted to check. He could not make up a random insistent room. They looked all very excited about this news, but Harukawa-san brought up the impossibility for the mastermind to use the room where they had made the trap that killed Amami-san. Now that he knew more things he had some doubt of the validity of the whole trap but it was not the right moment to mention it. He had a flash of inspiration. “There is a second entrance. He made me enter from another entrance. Unfortunately, I was blindfolded; I don’t know where it is. That’s what I want to ask you all! Please, let’s explore the school again, I think we can find the secret entrance!”

Shuichi wanted to sigh in relief but kept himself in check when everyone agreed, in high spirit. Thinking fast he decided to tell them that he had not traveled that far from the hanger, so maybe the secret entrance was in the garden. Shuichi was not entirely sure of where Kokichi wanted to go, so he decided to start with the garden and make his way from there, trying to keep everyone close by, instead of splitting up. It was the best idea he could think of and he hoped it was enough.

His mission ended up being much simpler than he thought. Kaito was acting like his new bodyguard, following him everywhere, smiling and patting him on the shoulder every so often. Shuichi was both happy and really unhappy at the same time. When Kaito was going to discover the double game he was playing, even though he was really going in the same direction as everyone else, he was going to be furious at him. It would take time to explain to him that sometimes victory was archived better by taking a more indirect route. Hopefully, he would understand, once they were outside. Wherever outside was supposed to be. But to get there he needed to focus and succeed first.

As soon as Shuichi’s eyes landed on the wall of the boiler room he knew he had hit jackpot. ‘Twins B’ looked like the perfect match, after Horse A. A and B, maybe a combination? Maybe there was a writing for every letter. He needed to know. Since Kaito was acting as his bodyguard Harukawa-san was following the two closely, all the others didn’t even think about going around alone. They were too afraid of Kokichi, ‘the mastermind’, so they wanted the Assassin’s protection. Everything was going great, except for the fact that he didn’t found any other writing. He was not so surprised though, he had already searched all over the school for Kokichi and he had already seen all the walls of the building.

They finished the whole search in the early afternoon and decided to eat. The mood was a little brought down by their ‘defeat’ but they were still smiling and probably not suspecting him of anything, which was good. Kaito and Harukawa-san decided to remain by his side after the meal and talk. Kaito spoke a lot, he told him he had been jealous of him and of his ability to save everyone, something Kaito was not able to do. Shuichi started to feel a little bad for him. He was not angry with him anymore, there were really much important things going on right now to stay angry. And Kaito was wrong, he was capable of saving people, just like he saved him and Harukawa-san, but he was able to save people from themselves. Not from murders and crazy robot bears. And from absurd virtual reality stuff. It was not his fault. Instead of focus on his weakness, he should focus on his strength. He was a great motivator, he was good at making people feel better. Well, not Kokichi, Kokichi was just annoyed by him but that was a problem for another day.

After he reassured him, Kaito and Harukawa-san left. Shuichi pondered a moment what to do. He had to return to Kokichi, of course, but maybe he could bring a little present with him. He had noticed that Kokichi had only some junk food with him in the room. He had that strange illness the last night, he probably needed to eat some more nutrients. He grabbed some vegetable and a steak, a very nutrient and healthy combination. Probably, Shuichi was not a nutritionist. After he had everything he wanted he returned to Kokichi’s Lab.

“So you didn’t run away from me, I see.” he said when he saw Kokichi seated in a disordered way in his swivel chair. “I’ve brought you something to eat. Hurry before it gets cold.”

Kokichi got up with a smirk and after plopping down on his mattress with his legs crossed he patted the spot next to him. Shuichi joined him and took extra care to not drop the food, Kokichi immediately took the plate from where Shuichi had placed it and started to fumble around with the blanket. When Shuichi realized that he was trying to create something like a little cuddling nest Shuichi’s heart leaped but he forced himself to calm down. Kokichi was way too casual with all this, was he… experienced? He surely looked completely at ease. Kokichi started to eat and Shuichi just waited in silence. He realized that they very much looked like a couple right now. He didn’t want to get his hopes up too much but he didn’t mind this becoming his new normality. It was still Kokichi, though, he was better not to daydream too much, falling from a great high was too dangerous. He was forcefully pulled out of his thoughts when Kokichi hugged him suddenly.

“Hm-hm-hm!” Kokichi’s cheerfulness made Shuichi’s temperature raise a bit. “My Prince Charming has come down in the depths of Hell to rescue me!” he sing-sang making Shuichi smile.

Kokichi’s mood swings were so cute. The first moment he was serious, the next he was childish and cutesy. Shuichi stroke his soft hair, almost like he wanted to thank him for the hug.

“So, how was my beloved Super Sadist-chan’s day?” and there he was, just swinging into mischievous.

“Super Sadist…” why, just why. “Have you came up with these nicknames for all of us or something?” he asked, not really wanting an answer.

“Suuure! Wanna hear them?” Kokichi stared right back with wide, sparkling eyes.

“No.” he was not going to waste an indefinite amount of time on nonsense.

Of course, when Kokichi had ever listened to him? He just started anyway and spouted a lot of silliness. He ended up playing along because he knew the more he tried to fight the joke the more Kokichi would push it. Just to please his contrary personality. It was not that big a sacrifice, obviously, Kokichi looked cute when he was in this silly mood. But then Kokichi skipped Shirogane-san from his little game, without any explanation.

“Wait, what about Shirogane-san?”

“Hm? What about Total Shit? What about the mastermind?” he just dropped there like it was no big deal.

“The… what?” had he understood this correctly?

“Oh, did I forgot to mention it? I discovered her real identity aaaaages ago! What? Were you  _still_ underestimating me, my beloved S-chan?” Shuichi was frozen in place as Kokichi hitched closer to his face and placed a finger to his lips. They stared into each other’s eyes. Kokichi had a little smirk. He always looked so smooth when he was managing to surprise him. “Ah, but that’s a lie! I have no idea! None whatsoever!” Kokichi let himself fall on the mattress with his hands behind his head.

That was a lie. Shuichi was not going to fall from that. And the programmers, or however was it that was watching, were not going to be fooled either. Shuichi could only trust Kokichi’s judgment.

“I explored the school as you asked,” he lied down next to his ally, “and I think I found what you wanted me to.” he sent a glance to the Bugvacuum, should they activate it?

“What did you find?” Kokichi’s eyes lit up with curiosity and he shook his head a little, understanding his train of thoughts.

Shuichi would love to have the same ability. Why was he so nonchalance about this? Shuichi could not read him at all.

“There was another piece of writing, it was on the wall of the boiler room. It was ‘Twins B’.”

Kokichi suddenly jumped to his feet, smiling widely, looking very excited.

“We are going, my beloved! To adventures!” he yelled with his arms spread open.

As Kokichi marched to the monitors to check on the other's position Shuichi overcome his surprise and followed him. Kokichi immediately changed direction even before Shuichi was able to join him and grabbed the Bugvacuum. Shuichi tried to follow again and once again Kokichi just walked out of the Lab. Shuichi sighed and followed. He was perfectly aware that Kokichi was doing it on purpose, just to mess around. He really could not let his theatrics go.

Kokichi led them to the top floor, outside of Amami-san’s Lab. Was here where the clues were supposed to go? Shuichi would have never guessed. And how was Kokichi thinking of entering? The door was locked and Monokuma was guarding it. Kokichi didn’t seem perturbed at all, actually, he looked totally confident as he was placing the Bugvacuum on the floor and lockpicking the door. So, that worked? Kokichi could move undetected by Monokuma? Wow.

When the door opened Shuichi felt his jaw drop. The room was so… _red._ It looked dripped in blood. There were a table and chairs, it looked like the council of a secret organization or something. Kokichi said that Rantaro was the Ultimate Survivor. And before that, he had been the Ultimate Big Brother. How was any of this suited for his role? The person that designed this room was maybe a little confused… The table and chair were maybe a mocking of the trail room but shouldn’t the survivor have something like self-defense weapons or something? There were just portraits on the wall.

Shuichi was busy with observing the room but Kokichi immediately reached a big thing on the wall, it had two dials, with drawings on it. Kokichi turned the two dials, one with an A on it was placed on a drawing of a horse-Monokuma while the one with a B was placed on a drawing of two Monokuma. It took him a moment to understand but Kokichi was composing Horse A and Twins B. The vault opened and Kokichi grabbed the little object inside without hesitation. Shuichi didn’t have time to see what it was. Then Kokichi took the laptop that was on the table and struggled to hide it inside his jacket. Shuichi was so confused that he didn’t even think of helping.

Kokichi grabbed him by the arm, dragged him outside, closed the door, deactivated the Bugvacuum and grabbed his hand again. Shuichi just followed him, speechless. He listened to Kokichi humming happily, the guy was on a totally different level from him. Once they were back in the Lab Kokichi let him go but only for a moment, then he grabbed him again and was hurried to the mattress.

“S-chan! You kept me awake the whole night, so now I’m tired! Hug me to sleep!” Kokichi whined right in his ear.

Shuichi felt his skin prickling, and not in a good way. This whiny attitude was the trick he liked less of Kokichi’s tricks. He hugged him after a moment, just to make sure he stopped. His irritation didn’t last long, Kokichi started to write again on his chest. Shuichi’s senses were all focused on understanding what Kokichi was explaining. He wrote down all about the Survivor Perk and the fact that Amami-san recorded it to try and get an advantage. Of course, Amami-san never got to see the message that he recorded before he had lost his memory. Kokichi told him he had taken it away because he didn’t want the season to end too soon.

Shuichi wrote back, he asked him why he was going through all this trouble. Kokichi frowned, strangely serious and Shuichi waited, studying his face for more clues. What was going on in his mind right now?

Then he finally started to write again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! A little present :)  
> Now everything should be fine until the end of both stories, PP and Oasis.   
> Next chapter of Oasis should be on the 1st!


	19. Accepting or refusing?

(Ch 77 – 79)

Shuichi was completely stunned and maybe a little scared. Was he being serious? His plan was so… _definitive._

What if he was wrong?

What if killing someone would _really_ kill someone? Not just the avatar body. How could he ask him to accept a plan like this? How had been able to even create a plan like this? Who was this guy? Kokichi was staring at his face, probably reading him like a book.

_-If you don’t want it’s fine. I understand, you are free to go-_

Kokichi took back his hand, crossing it with the other on his stomach and looking away. Shuichi’s brain was a mess. Too many things, too many possibilities. How was he supposed to decide what to do now? Why was Kokichi so desperate? Shuichi was not quite there yet but maybe… maybe it was because he had shared this burden with Kokichi from the beginning, while Kokichi fought alone for far too long. It was kinda his own fault but still, he had suffered alone and now he was tired. Really tired. Shuichi noticed immediately when Kokichi’s eyes went out of focus. He opened his mouth to ask him how he was but no sound come out. Kokichi had just closed his eyes and his eyebrow relaxed. Shuichi immediately moved his arms out of the way when Kokichi scooped even closed on his own, pressing his face between his shoulder and neck, probably to stop the light that was still upon them. Shuichi’s mind emptied, Kokichi’s vulnerable state was more pressing than any plan. The plans were for tomorrow. Kokichi needed him now. He hugged him dragging him as close as possible.

“Kokichi? You look very tired lately, are you sure you are not sick?” Kokichi only hummed in response. “Are you eating enough?” Shuichi tried to feel his forehead from the awkward angle. Kokichi hummed again. That was not an answer, he was clearly just trying to shut him up as soon as possible. “You are cold, why you are always so cold?”

“’unno…” Kokichi murmured in his ear weakly but slightly annoyed.

Shuichi sighed trying to stay still and not bother him too much. He would have liked an answer but his rest was more important right now.

“Sleep, you clearly need it.”

“Things to do…” Kokichi words came out a little sluggish.

“Later. I’ll be here when you wake up. We can talk then.” he patted him gently.

“Hmm, help me…?” he was almost whining by now, he really sounded like a little kid.

“Yes, I’ll help you. Even if you honestly scare me a little. This plan is pretty over the top. I’m still not completely convinced of… where all this takes place. So I’m a bit scared. But… call me crazy if you want, you have every right to, but I think I honestly trust you. Your brain is pretty rare, for you to get this far all alone… I’ll put my life in your hands, even if it’s scary. And if I’m wrong… Well, as Kaito is usual saying, ‘I’d rather die believing in the people I want to believe’. I decided to believe you. Unfortunately, I’m not going to stop thinking that Kaito has a point there. You can spit on me later, I know you hate this kind of mushy feel-good stuff.” Shuichi managed to amaze himself.

He was speaking from the heart, not from the brain. Something that happened really rarely with him. But he didn’t regret it. For once, speaking what he was feeling instead of worry endless about consequences felt liberating. The tension in the body next to his disappeared completely and he realized that Kokichi had definitely fallen asleep. His worries returned. Kokichi had slept a lot of hours the previous night and they had awoken not that early. But now he was again tired. Something was not quite right with his tiredness. What was really going on with his partner? He wanted to be positive and think that it was just mental exhaustion from too many emotions but he was not going to delude himself. There was something wrong with this.

Shuichi was not feeling tired himself, so he didn’t fall asleep, he just remained by Kokichi’s side for a couple hours. In the motionless silence of the Lab Shuichi’s mind was working full speed. He was sure that Kokichi was not lying to get him into a trap, this was seriously _too big_ a trap. Considering that he was not going to gain anything from it himself. No, he had to trust Kokichi’s intention. The bigger problem was another one. What if Kokichi was mistaken? If the technology for the implant of fake memories was real then all this could be a trap created by someone else to hurt Kokichi. It was possible, maybe more possible than this place just being a virtual reality. Maybe Kokichi was innocent, but just being dragged into a wrong decision. Shuichi wouldn’t put it past Monokuma. But he didn’t have any proof either way. Unfortunately, there was no way to keep his feet in both shoes, he needed to take a stance. One of the two was going to be a big mistake, the other a potential eternal imprisonment. Which one was worse?

When Kokichi woke up he still had not reached a decision. Maybe he would never be able to make a decision. Not without having some more elements first. Kokichi stretched by his side like a cat and as soon as his eyes opened and fixed on his he jolted on a sitting position.

“Crap, I fell asleep. How much time did I waste?” he looked slightly panicked.

“Not much, it’s only dinnertime. And you didn’t waste time. You were resting, as you should’ve.” he really needed to have a talk with him about priorities. The world was not on fire, not that he knew at least, a day more or a day less would not change anything.

“You need to go back. The others will get suspicious of you if you disappear so often for so long.” he ignored him, still looking restless.

“Yeah, I’ll go, but first…” first he wanted to talk about his plan. But he was not sure of how. Kokichi was not easy to reason with. “I thought a lot about your plan while you were sleeping. You’re asking for a lot.”

“If you want to ditch me, do it. It’s fine. I asked for a lot without giving anything in exchange. It’s normal that you don’t trust me.” and he was too quick about taking things on the defensive.

“No, I trust you. It’s crazy and maybe I shouldn’t, but I trust you. I’m just…” he sighed. “Scared. It’s so… wrong. It’s not that I don’t believe you, but what if you are mistaken? I’m not saying that you are lying! I mean that maybe you are remembering it wrong or you misunderstood something or someone lied to you…” he hope he managed to sound convincing. He didn’t want Kokichi to feel attacked. “You don’t have any proof, do you?”

“No, I don’t. I guess you could look at Rantaro’s perk, but that would not contain much in terms of proof.”

Oh, he had forgot all about it. They had the Survivor Perk now, and they could watch it when they wanted. It could be of some help.

_Wait, ‘Rantaro’?_

In a moment the video was set up and Kokichi pressed on the button play. On-screen Amami-san appeared, he was seated on a chair and looked very serious, cold even. His voice was almost sarcastic, defeated. It was almost like he was mocking himself for a mistake he had made. Shuichi listened to him talking attentively, and when Amami-san confirmed pretty much all Kokichi had said Shuichi felt his head spin a little. There were only two possibilities, either Kokichi was the one who told him to record this message with the precise intent of messing with him or this was real. And everything else was real as well. For the sake of his mental health he discarded the first hypothesis and accepted the second one.  Just to be on the safe side he sneaked a peek at Kokichi’s face and he stilled. Kokichi was smiling in a way he had never seen him smile before. It was… a nostalgic smile. A very familiar and nostalgic smile. What was the relationship between the two of them? Shuichi tried to ignore the little weight inside his stomach.

The message ended and Shuichi realized he had not really listened to the last part. He needed to take another look later, but he would not ask Kokichi. He didn’t need to tell him he got distracted midway.  Kokichi caught him staring.

"What? Yeah, this is not proof, but I think Rantaro let a lot of details slip, so you can get a clear answer from this.”

“No, it’s not that…”

“What then?” Kokichi asked, his eyebrows furrowed a little.

“No, it’s just…” Shuichi resigned himself to tell the truth. He was not a talented liar like Kokichi. “The way you looked at him. Like he was your best friend in life or something, and you even call him by his first name, without the –chan you always add… You really like him, don’t you?”

“Oh, are you jealous?” Kokichi cut straight to the chase without even a moment of hesitation.

Shuichi felt like he was dying inside a little.

“W-what? No! Of course not!”

“OH-MY-GOD-YOU-ARE-JEALOUS!” Kokichi slapped his cheeks, and Shuichi hoped he had hurt himself. At least a little bit.

“No, I told you that’s not it!” his desperation was evident and mortifying.

“Don’t worry! I already confessed and he already rejected me, you are safe, my Beloved-chan! You still got to take my other firsts!” Kokichi dropped this information there like candy. Oh. So… There was a history between the two of them for real. It was not just his imagination, the two were… or at least Kokichi was… oh… well… that was that then. “He shattered my little virgin heart, but I got over it! Now I don’t feel hurt anymore.”

Shuichi just wanted him to shut up. Too much information.

“Whatever.”

“Aww, has someone told you already that you are the most adorable boy in the universe?” he hitched closer to his face, his eyes shining with mischief.

“Shut up!!” Shuichi hid his face in his hands, feeling like he was drowning from embarrassment. Trust Kokichi to not take him seriously at all and laugh at him. “Anyway… As I said…” Shuichi took a deep breath. “I’ll help you. Your plan is crazy and I’m really afraid I’ll fail, but I’ll try my best.”

“You can always back away.” Kokichi was looking away and talking like it was no big deal.

But it had to be a big deal, Kokichi was always trying his 100%. So why was he downplay this like it was unimportant? Surely it had to be very relevant.

“Why are you trying so hard to make me change my mind? I don’t get it.”

“Simply because if I were you, I would never do it. That’s all.” Kokichi shrugged, still looking away.

“Are you scared?” it was a flash of intuition.

“What? Of what?” Kokichi finally locked eyes with him, surprised.

“Of me.”

“Yes, I am.” he answered slowly but seriously.

“I thought so.” Shuichi felt really proud of himself for having figured this out. “You keep asking me to go away, in a roundabout way. This doesn’t have anything to with your plan or whether you are believable or not. You are simply scared of working with me. Of trusting me.”

That had to be, surely, the reason why he was always lying. Because he could not trust others with his delicate plans. Kokichi’s personality was not easy to deal with and his plans were all borderline crazy. But he was just that kind of person. Contrary to Kaito, who was trying to make his plans go his way all the time and have a relevant spot in all decisions, Kokichi was the type of person to remain into the background most of the time, only to step out when no one else was able to push beyond that thin line between genius and madness.

“I’ll work hard. I’ll prove to you that you didn’t make the wrong choice.”


	20. Yeah, how about no

(Ch 79 – 81 – 85)

“All right Romeo-chan! You can be my best assistant!”

“Great, but don’t call me that. Is there something specific you need me to do now?” Shuichi asked.

“Yeah! Fetch me two Love Keys!” Kokichi grinned enthusiastically.

“What…?” Shuichi was confused.

Love Keys? The ones that were in the Casino? To enter the Love Hotel? For real?

“The Love Hotel is such a nice place! You’ll love it!”

Yeah, for real then. _Seriously?!_ Shuichi would love that place? Sure, right. Kokichi knew him well enough, it was not possible for it to be a misunderstanding, he was mocking him, as always.

“If you say so…”

It didn’t seem like Kokichi had anything else he wanted to say to him so Shuichi steeled himself to start with the plan and left. So, there were two parts to Kokichi’s plan. One was a fake, a test. They had to simulate a certain situation to collect some information and piss the audience all at the same time. The second part was the real one, the one he was most scared of. Both phases were a bit on the long side, they could not be done in a single day, both of them had to work to make them work. First Shuichi had to grab the ladder in the gym and bring it outside so that Kokichi could climb up the balcony that was situated above the front door. He wanted to make a spectacular show, something very typical of him, so he needed to be in a high place where no one else could reach him. This was the place he chose.

Being as careful as possible he started to drag the ladder with him. Of course normally you would pick it up and walk normally but not this time. The ladder was so very heavy that Shuichi had to drag it on the floor, walking slowly backward as he was pulling on it. He was scared of all the noise he was making, luckily this part of the school was rarely visited. The worst part was when he reached the little gate between Yumeno’s Lab and the dining room. He had to shift it on the side to be sure to pass through and not remain stuck. The last part of the distance was one of the most used routes of the whole school so he had to hurry up a lot. He reached the outside feeling like he had run a marathon, especially since his heart was beating too fast for it to be healthy. The exertion and nervousness combined were playing a trick on him. He hid it behind the corner hoping that this was enough because dinner was going to start soon and he really didn’t have the strength to move it more than this.

“Hey Shuichi! What are you doing bud?”

Kaito’s voice almost made him have a heart attack. Shuichi turned fast and tried to hide the corner with his body. It was a dumb move, since it would make him even more suspicious but that was the best he could muster at the moment.

“Hey, are you alright? You look pale and sweaty?” Kaito stopped smiling after seeing his face.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine. I was… trying to search a bit more, I think I exaggerated a little. I feel a bit tired.” there was no denying how weak that excuse was.

“Man, you always work too hard! Don’t worry, I already told you. That whole thing about the world ending was just Kokichi’s prank, we are still in the game, we can still win. No use into overworking yourself 'till you are sick! C’mon, let’s go eat dinner together!”

If he had been alone, Shuichi would have let out a very big sigh of relief. This was exactly what he needed to do, Kaito spared him the trouble to invite him. Now, if the others could join them as well it would be perfect. Kaito placed an arm around his shoulder and started to drag him away, far from the ladder. In some moments he was seated in the dining room, all the others had arrived, one after the other. Kokichi surely had seen them coming and he was going to leave the Lab now.

The next part of the plan was upon him again. He had to excuse himself for a moment and move the ladder again. He said he needed to use the bathroom and run outside. He immediately localized Kokichi sitting on the balcony and grinning at him. Shuichi nodded at him, glad to see they worked perfectly in sync. Kokichi nodded back. Shuichi grabbed the ladder and it fell on the ground loudly, Shuichi grimaced, hoping no one from the inside heard. He grabbed it again on one end and dragged it behind the dorm. Next, he needed to climb up the stairs and grab some cans of paint and hide them inside Kokichi’s tunnel. This part of the plan was supposed to be done before they could all eat dinner but dragging the ladder around had taken a lot more time than Shuichi had predicted.

When he had finished running up, grabbing the cans, running down and hiding the cans under the floor in the tunnel, he was once again panting hard with exhaustion. And he could not rest because the others were waiting for him, thinking he had gone to the bathroom. He stood in front of the door and tried to comb his hair a little, hoping he didn’t look like a drowned little dog. He entered the room and sent a quick glance to the others but they just confirmed his identity then they returned to their meal. Once again Shuichi had to keep a sigh in. This was the sighing day.

He was finally able to eat some actual normal dinner and breathe a little. It was very late when they were all ready to go and returned to the dorm. Shuichi was sorry that Kokichi had to wait all this time on the balcony but at the same time he was already acting strangely, he could not risk to hasten them while eating. But Kokichi was still where he was supposed to be, and ready to go.

His act was flawless. Very over the top and so full of theatrics, like always, but effective. If Shuichi had not been his accomplice right now he would feel a shiver down his spine, his threat looked pretty authentic. But no, they were supposed to hide inside the Love Hotel together. And do who knows what. He was really not looking forward to that. Kokichi was going to create a big play and screw around with him for hours, was he not?

As soon as he heard his cue to interject he immediately tried to drag everyone away from Kokichi so he could escape from the trap he created himself. He lured everyone into another trap, telling them to grab the famous ladder from the gym. The part that gave him more anxiety was convincing Harukawa-san, she was not easily swayed in another person’s direction. Well, except maybe Kaito’s direction, he had a special power on her.

The ladder, of course, was not in the gym and everyone kind of fell into a disordered panic. It was not so terrible, if they could stop and think about it logically, but they could not; first Kokichi threatened his life and then they were not able to catch him. Obviously when they run back outside Kokichi was nowhere to be found. It was a very intelligent strategy, surely everyone knew it was impossible to reach that balcony so the only possibility was for him to have a secret method. A ladder was not a really cool secret method but Shuichi had to admit it: the others were not able to solve these little mysteries alone. They were relying on him to solve this kind of things. In a way he was bothered by it, they were dragged around by lies so easily! Kokichi at least was honest about his lying habit, so no one believed him in any case, but in Shuichi’s case they were not expecting it. Normally they should use their heads, who was talking should not count, they should apply logic in any case. He could understand a little why Kokichi was always so mean to them and calling them stupid.

They found the ladder later and everyone was really mad he played them like a fiddle.

It took a long while before they were all in the mood to go back to their room to sleep. Shuichi was feeling really, really tired but it was not the time to rest yet. He shut himself into his room for a moment, washing his face and changing clothes, since he would probably not have that option for a while. Then he cautiously left and tiptoed out of the dorm.

Shuichi took one of the slot machines for himself but it was such a slow process, collecting coins, that he was almost falling asleep on the screen. It didn’t help that all he had to do was to keep pulling a lever over and over again. The wins were almost always compensating for the losses so he was steadily going for his goal, but it was so painfully boring. He had a feeling that playing one of the other games would be a better choice but he was so tired that he knew he would screw up half the plays and waste even more time. At least this way the only risk was to fall asleep.

It took him three long, interminable hours to get what he needed; two Love Keys. He dragged himself to the tunnel and opened the entrance. Then he paused. Half of him wanted to climb down and take a quick look at how Kokichi was doing. Was he okay? There was nothing bad in seeing him, right? But the other half was telling him he needed to have some more faith in him. Constantly breathing on his neck was not going to gain him points. Kokichi was an independent guy, show himself as a very anxiety-filled person who needed to keep a close eye on him was not the best idea. He didn’t want to make him feel like he was suffocating or something. He placed one Key on the floor and closed the tunnel entrance.

He returned to his room and collapsed on his bed.

The next day started with the announcement. Shuichi groaned on the pillow, he wanted to sleep way more. But this day was too important and he should already feel blessed that they let him sleep this much. The ‘treasure hunt’ was supposed to start at 8 am, and the announcement was at 8 am. In other words, even a second after 8 am was a wasted second toward ‘saving Shuichi’s life’. Surely they were all already in high alert and working toward their goal. Shuichi needed to move, he needed to make them waste time.

Shuichi slapped his cheeks and got up feeling determinate to make this phase work, so they could move to the next, the test. When he left the room he glanced around and saw no one around. He wondered if he should go to the dining room or where. Actually, Shuichi had no idea of how the treasure hunt was supposed to work, Kokichi didn’t waste the time to explain to him the whole thing. So, from where was it supposed to start?

He left the dormitory and tried for the main building, keeping an eye around. When he reached the entrance he wanted to take a look under the tile and see if Kokichi had picked up the Key and was now safely hidden inside the Hotel. What if they had caught him during the night? No, he should not think about that. When he finally found them, they looked all very intense. Shuichi was feeling kind of moved by the fact that they were so determinate to save his life. And he felt guilty about this because he was going to play with their feelings. They were going to hate him later, when they were to discover he had voluntarily made them go through all this. And that had been Kokichi's accomplice all this time. 

They immediately informed him that the first clue of the ‘treasure hunt’ was a piece of paper at the center of the circular dorm floor that Harukawa-san found as soon as she woke up. He asked them why they had not waked him up and Kaito said that he wanted to be the one to save him, this time. And that Shuichi looked a little shit. Shuichi appreciated his honesty for once.

The treasure hunt was tiring. Just like Kokichi. It smelled like something done by him a mile away. He, surely on purpose, placed all the next clues on the farthest place form the one they were currently in. For example if a clue was in the dining room, the next was in Shuichi’s Lab. Then the next was in Iruma-san’s Lab. And so on. Shuichi climbed and descended so many stairs that day he felt his legs were becoming jelly.  A pan, a rag, a wig, a brush, a mace, a spare magic hat… Kokichi had chosen the most random objects possible. Of course during the day they started to become restless so they wanted to split up and cover more areas but Shuichi managed to keep them together by saying that Kokichi would probably prevent them from ‘ruining the game’. They could not stop playing and just recover his little messages in red paint at random. There was the possibility that they were going to find the end of the hunt by pure coincidence. Shuichi was there exactly to prevent that from happening.

As soon as it was seven and a half he started to walk at the back of the group so he could slip away as soon as it was almost time. They were getting kind of desperate so it was easy to just not turn a corner and then run away. They didn't even notice he was absent. He ran down the stairs and into the garden, then into the casino area. He turned the Love Key into the lock of the Love Hotel and he found himself in a long hallway. He looked at all the doors and the first one was opened. Kokichi was inside.

“Yo, I’m your riding for the night!” Kokichi winked seductively making a ridiculous pose.

“Yes, I was right. I hate this place, I’m going back. Bye.”


	21. I was never enough

(Ch 85 – 87)

Shuichi turned to leave, but he was only acting a little. He was putting up some airs because he knew Kokichi was going to like it and to play along with it. In seconds he felt Kokichi’s arms around him and his breath on his neck.

“Non, non, don’t leave me!!” he said in his silly whiny voice. “How can I live without my one and true love?!”

Shuichi felt a spark of irritation in his chest. Who was supposed to be the true love? He flickered him on the forehead. Kokichi let him go and rubbed his forehead pouting.

“Were you saying these things to Amami-kun as well?”

Kokichi tilted his head a little, then he took a step back smiling.

“Who knows? I’m a liar after all! Maybe I said them to a hundred cute guys!”

Was he doing it on purpose? Was he enjoying completely depriving these words of meaning? 

“That’s more likely, you are the kind of person that says these things just to mess with people.”

“The word ‘love’ is overrated anyway! Nowadays it’s used for everything! It doesn’t mean anything anymore!” Kokichi shrugged, unconcerned.

So he was doing it on purpose. He was really saying these words just to say something alluring for the audience. But a person who really had some feelings for someone was capable of saying these words to that person so easily? Shuichi didn’t think he could do it. He would feel very bad and guilty. So maybe the fact that Kokichi could lie so easily about that could mean that he had no feelings so it was a complete lie. He had gained a bit of experience with the way he could lie. He had trouble when he was lying only partially. But he could lie easily about things he didn’t care about.

So he didn’t care about him at all? Sure, Kokichi never actually talked about feelings, and everything he had said and done could have been a lie for the show. But Shuichi desperately wanted to believe that a part of what happened was what Kokichi wanted or at least something he enjoyed. Maybe he never cared about anything after all.

Maybe he never cared about him at all. Maybe he never had been able to pass through one of his numerous barriers. Maybe everything had always been in Shuichi’s head from the very beginning.

“Do you really think that?”

“Oh, let me guess, you are one of those romantic types that only says ‘I love you’ to people they  _think_ they will love for life, right?” he tilted his head, his bright purple eyes seem to burn him.

Shuichi clenched his fists, feeling irritation and maybe rage build up deep inside him.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” his voice came out low.

“That ‘forever’ doesn’t exist. Crushes in high school or middle school think they will last for life and it never happens. Life is not so convenient, feelings are not so convenient.”

How easily he could say those things.

“So you don’t believe in love at all? You’ll never say ‘I love you’ seriously? You’ll always say it as a joke? Because forever doesn’t exist?”

“Pretty much.” Kokichi shrugged, looking relaxed. “It’s best to live in the moment and not to worry too much about feelings, you know? Like, an open relationship? It’s okay as long as it’s interesting, then everyone’s on their way, no hard feelings.”

“I would never be able to do something like that. If there are no feelings, then there is no meaning.” it was out of his mouth even before he could process what he had said.

He wasn’t even sure it made any sense at all. But he was not going to stop and ponder about sense right now. He was too impatient and bothered. He searched for the sucking-bug thing and picked it up, pressing the switch. If Kokichi wanted to act for the audience then fine, he was going to cut out that excuse and have a real conversation. He was going to eliminate that possibility.

 “Were you serious?”

“Why are you reacting like that? I don’t get it, why do you even care.” Kokichi’s expression fell, like he was unhappy about having this conversation.

Shuichi was positive he was unhappy about having this conversation but if he thought Shuichi was always going to accommodate him he had something else coming. They were going to talk about this once and for all, before everything started to fall down and get destroyed forever. Kokichi could not hope to play with him and his feelings for any longer, Shuichi had already reached his limit, this was the third and absolutely last chance he was going to give him.

“What do you mean, ‘why do you even care’, of course I care!” he raised his voice a little, even though he knew that shouting was not the way to discuss or prove a solid point. “How can I not care!”

“Why? I’m just saying, it doesn’t have anything to do with you.”

Shuichi’s heart roared with indignation.

“It doesn’t…!” Shuichi shut his eyes, summoning all his patience. “I care a lot if the person I…” why? Why was this so important? He should just let this go since Kokichi definitely was not the best fit for him. But at the same time, what made someone a good fit for him and what not? And was it even okay not to fight for his feelings? He knew what Kaito would say about not fighting for what you believed in. He completed his sentence with some difficulty. “like, says he doesn’t believe in love, feelings, relationships, anything at all.”

 “Wait a minute Saihara-chan, there is no need to bring actual feelings into this,” Kokichi took another step back and raised his hands just a little. A instinctive gesture to put some distance and barrier between the two of them “this is all an act anyway. Keep it light, okay?”

An act. A barrier. It was all coming together. This was Kokichi, a barrier. Kokichi was a barrier that divided his inner self and the rest of the world. Since when? For how long? How deep? He had no answers. Shuichi was still a young guy, he was barely capable of holding on his own, let alone solve someone’s else problems. But that was, in some way, reassuring. Once again he was reminded that Kokichi was not a perfect human being with all the answers, he had his problems and weakness as everyone else. And they could do their best to cope together.

 “If this is  _all_ an act…”he tried to not make it seem accusatory. “Then what do you really feel for me?”

“I like you.” he answered slowly, cautiously.

“In what sense, as a friend, as a person, as in ‘I have feelings for you’?” he needed some basis to work with at least.

“Then what about you,” Kokichi sharply turned toward him and questioned him with his lips slightly furrowed, “what do you feel for me?”

This was his chance to prove his intentions, at the very least this was he could be rejected once and for all, but he would not regret never giving this is very best shot.

“I… I cannot say that I love you, not yet, but I have feelings for you.”

“As in… in the act… right?” it was his last desperate attempt.

This bad? Were his attempts at looking away so rooted in him? So rooted that they looked completely pitiful. Shuichi didn’t want to hurt him, but he could not see anything good coming out of deluding themselves so deeply. Kokichi was a human contradiction.

“So, they failed the treasure hunt, right? Then-“ Kokichi tied to changed the topic in a cheerful voice but Shuichi didn’t let him.

“This is not an act for me Kokichi. I honestly like you, I want to be by your side, help you and know more about you.” Kokichi looked away again and didn’t react. “I thought I made myself clear, but I guess this is partially my fault. I never actually said how much the act and reality were separated.” he took a step in Kokichi’s direction, only one at a time, he could see how tense Kokichi’s shoulders were. “The whole ‘S-chan’ and ‘Romeo-chan’ and ‘first night of marriage’ is surely part of the act…” another step, he was regaining all the space Kokichi took to distance himself. “But me hugging you, wanting to help you, trying to understand you… That’s not an act. I’m worried when you are cold and look sick, something that happens way too often for me not to worry about. I’m happy when you cuddle next to me, when you hug me and when you play with me…” the last step. Now they were right in front of one another. Kokichi was now looking at the floor, his eyes were clouded. Shuichi wanted to solve this problem as soon as possible. Kokichi’s eyes were not supposed to be of this sad shade of purple. “Kokichi, my feelings are not an act, you don’t have to be so scared of me. I don’t want to hurt you.”

Should he touch him? Maybe it would go too far… He was not entirely sure what degree of comforting Kokichi was willing to accept. Kokichi sent him a quirk glance.

“Saihara-chan, let’s keep this as an act only, it’s best for both of us.”

As he was trying to stared at the floor again Shuichi just could not resist. He was not a psychologist, he was not perfectly capable of reading the situation. He just wanted… this to work! He grabbed him by the shoulder tightly but not too much, he could clearly feel Kokichi’s tense muscles and his eyes had widened a little bit. He was good at keeping his mask on but he was still a human, it was impossible to not react instinctively at all.

“First, my name is Shuichi, it’s about time you stop calling me ‘Saihara-chan’.” he tried to meet his eyes but he failed.

“Ahh, hmm, S-chan, I get that it’s been quite a while since last time we had sex but-“

“Secondly, for the fourth or fifth time, this is  _not-an-act._ ” Shuichi kept going, undisturbed.

“But to grab me like this… You’re a little too eager, you didn’t even give me the time to-“

“Kokichi.” he gave him a little shook.

“I would’ve thought you liked foreplay and-“

“Kokichi, were you aware that you tend to blabber a lot when you are nervous?”

“Ah, err…”

“Kokichi, I truly like you, and I know you do too. Please, stop trying to run away from me.”  Kokichi shook his head strongly. He was not going to fall for that. “Don’t lie, I know I’m right. If you are not lying, then look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t have any feelings for me at all.”

Kokichi closed his eyes and kept shaking his head. This was not working. Shuichi sighed and dropped his head on Kokichi’s right shoulder, his grips becoming more a need for support. Kokichi was stiff like a log. He had failed. He was never enough to make Kokichi relax after all. Not that he was surprised, Kokichi was intelligent and cunning, he would never feel safe with someone like Shuichi, who was barely capable of keeping care of himself. He was not capable of making him feel safe, protected. Kokichi could not relax with someone like him. He was not enough.

“Sometimes, I wish I was more like Kaito, he would know what to do right now…” he said more to himself than to him.

“I’d rather you not being like Kaito, I hate him.” Kokichi’s voice was strained with clear discomfort but he tried to joke anyway.

That made Shuichi’s heart warm up. He wanted _so much_ for this to work.

“You don’t like him, but you don’t hate him either. I don’t know what to do… I don’t know how to make you understand, I don’t know how to get to you, I don’t know how to help you, I don’t know how to make it better, I don’t know how to not make you feel afraid, I don’t know how I should treat you, I don’t know. I wish I was good with these things, but I’m not, I don’t know what to do. I just want you to accept me and to be happy.” Shuichi could not stop himself from hugging him.

He had just poured out his heart like that, but he didn’t regret it. He just wanted this to work!

“I’m sorry…” Shuichi barely heard Kokichi’s voice but all his senses were focused on him.

“For what?” he whispered gently.

“Everything.” Kokichi’s whisper had a teary sound.

“Hm.” he nodded on his shoulder. “I’m sorry for everything too.” he was going to start cry soon if this mood was to keep going for much longer.

“You have nothing to apologize for.” Kokichi almost chuckled in a very sad way.

“No, I’m sorry for not being a better person.”

“Stupid…” it was too fond to be any kind of insult.

Shuichi could almost not believe it when he felt Kokichi’s arms around him. Was this really happening?

“You too.”


	22. Let's take a break

(Ch 87 – 89)

Shuichi’s heart was torn between pain and warmth.

Hearing Kokichi crying in his arms softly was both a big relief and heartbreaking. Finally he was opening up a little. It was almost time he let himself cry a little. With all the pain and suffering they had to go through to reach this point it was not human to hold tears still. Finally, finally he was reacting in a healthy way. He had always been worried about how he was handling the pressure and pain. If Shuichi had kept going like this he would have probably exploded.

Kokichi cried softly for a long while and Shuichi tied to comfort him as best as he could without words. Words would only be a distraction at this point. He just needed to let it all out. It was Kokichi who decided when to broke the hug, he let go and walked to the bed, let himself fell down breathing heavily. He started to wipe his face with the white sleeves of his jacket. Shuichi looked around in search of something to do that could help and he decided to do something he needed as well. He entered the bathroom and drunk some water from the sink, then he grabbed one of the disposable plastic cup that were very common inside hotels bathroom. He filled it and handed it gently to Kokichi.

Kokichi took it without a word and drunk it in two long sips. He looked like a little child with a cold, drinking a hot tea. The image made his heart filling with fondness and he was compelled, like a mother, to move his hair out of his face. He swept the remains of the tears out of his cheek as well. Kokichi took a deep breath and let it all out, Shuichi, full on ‘mother mode’, took the cup and placed it on the floor. 

 “You are cold, as usual. Go under the covers.”

“Trying to slip into my bed as usual?” Kokichi tried to flirt weakly.

“Yes, that’s exactly it. So help me.” this time he was not bothered, he just accepted Kokichi’s way of handling these things.

Kokichi took off his shoes, crawled under the sheets and grabbed him by the arm to drag him right next to him.

“Keep me warm, like a good boyfriend.” Kokichi was clearly asking for some physical contact and Shuichi was glad to comply.

He adjusted a little his position and hugged him, so that Kokichi could take his usual position crawled on his chest. He had really gotten used to this habit of Kokichi’s. He wondered if this was the right time to bring up his question again. Well, he wanted to try at least.

“You know, you still haven’t answered me. Do you have feelings for me or not? I won’t allow you to call me boyfriend anymore if it’s a lie.” after he finished speaking he realized that asking while he was not looking at him could lead to some problems, he needed to see his face.

“Sheesh, and people say it’s me who’s stubborn… I have feelings for you, just as Mister Detective said.” Kokichi’s furrowed lips were kind of cute.

Shuichi smiled happy with his answer. This was more than enough for now. He had done some good progress in one day.

“Okay, then call me boyfriend. But for real. Not for the act. I mean, even outside of… the show, I’m still your boyfriend. Got it?” Shuichi moved his hair from his eyes again, so he could see them better.

“Really, even outside? Aren’t you going back to your girlfriend?”

“Who?” his question left him speechless.

“You know… That bright sun that rolled a shot put ball into a vent to kill people… That one.” Kokichi’s voice was light and unconcerned but he was looking away.

“Pfff-!” Shuichi muffled a laugh with his hand. “Akamatsu-san? My girlfriend? Are you sure, you don’t have a fever Kokichi? I don’t even like girls  _that way_!”

Normally he would not talk about his sexual preferences but they were alone and Kokichi was his boyfriend now, right? It didn’t make much sense not to talk about this right now.

“W-well you never know… I’m sure you are a virgin, so you never tried, so maybe if you tried, you would discover that maybe you actually do, or maybe you—“ he was blabbering. He was totally blabbering.

“I already mentioned that you blabber a lot when you are nervous, right? And who are you to say I’m a virgin by the way?” the last part was out of his mouth without his consent.

“Eh, you are not? I don’t believe you.” that apparently gained him Kokichi’s complete attention.

“H-hm, well, no, maybe I am…” he regretted everything, why had he let himself get drag in this kind of argument? “But… you know…”

Kokichi was staring at him pretty intensely. Shuichi had some trouble keeping eye contact. Then suddenly a hand was placed on his cheek and he froze, he tried to read into Kokichi’s eye his intention. Kokichi was getting close, _very close,_ they noses were almost touching and he could almost count his eyelashes one by one. He remained like this for a second, and Shuichi did the same, afraid to do something wrong, anything wrong, since he was not really sure of what he was trying to do.

And then Kokichi kissed him.

And Shuichi’s mind was blank.

It was over before he could process it completely.

“ _See?_ It’s best if you do this with a girl, I’m not—“

“Wait, wait a minute!” he grabbed his wrist quickly, before he could be out of reach. “I-I’m not convinced! Again!”

Kokichi gifted him a very annoyed grimace and grabbed him, dragging him into a kiss again. This time Shuichi didn’t freeze or stop thinking, he trapped Kokichi into position by placing a hand behind his neck and another on his back. Kokichi grabbed him by the front of the jacket and _bit his lip._

The sudden sensation, that traveled all over his body, made him lose focus for a moment and he lost his grip on Kokichi who used the opening to escape again. They started at each other. Kokichi had a challenge written in his eyes, like he was daring him to say that he had done something wrong. But for some reason, Shuichi’s attention was completely captured by Kokichi’s redder lips. The thought of _why_ they were a little more red than normal was making his head spin a little.

 “T-that was already a bit better… H-hmm, s-so…”

“Please stop, you are cringy!” Kokichi cut him off completely.

“This is your fault, you were the one to put this into this terms! Can’t you just kiss me normally!?” he didn’t get to call him cringy, _he was the cringy one!_

“Of course I can!”

Kokichi lunged forward and immediately trapped his lip again between his teeth. Even though the sensation was making his heart beat faster he ignored it and grabbed Kokichi again, he was not going to fall for the same trick twice! As soon as Kokichi let his lip go it was Shuichi that took the initiative, deepening the kiss a little. Kokichi took a moment longer to reciprocate but finally they could share a decent, sweet kiss. Not that Shuichi was an expert on kissing, but this one was making him melt a little. Like in those novels he had read.

They broke the kiss after a while and Kokichi looked a bit flustered. His cheeks were red and his hair a little messy, he tried to tuck them behind his ear but Kokichi’s hair was just as uncooperative as his owner. But he liked it this way. They both fell asleep as soon as Kokichi hugged him creating a little warm nest.

Shuichi was the first one to wake up. He had not slept for very long, according to the clock on the wall, but he was feeling rested so instead of trying to go back to sleep he started to daydream about Kokichi. He still could not believe all that happened, had they really kissed? Earlier he was riding on adrenaline so it was easy to just roll with the mood. Now he had a little sleeping mess curled up right next to him, looking like a fluffy purple kitten. Shuichi’s heart was warm and fuzzy, and if this was a dream he refused to wake up. If this was a dream he’d rather not live in reality anymore at all. He could even accept the absurd mess that this Virtual World was, for this one and only purpose. He started to pet him.

“You like my hair don’t you?” Kokichi sighed in a sleepy way in his neck after a while.

“Yes. It’s fluffy and soft and I like the color a lot, it’s very special.” he raised a strand, making the light of the room shine on it. “See? It gets lighter the more light you shine on it.”

“You know… Maybe my hair is only like this in the  _show._ Maybe outside my hair is simply black.” Kokichi was being a little pessimistic now, was he in a bad mood again?

“That would be fine. I’m not going to pout over that. And I’m very plain, so really-“

“No, no.  _Plain_ is forbidden in my vocabulary. Forever.” Kokichi cut him off with wide eyes, looking very silly with his fake serious face.

“All right…” Shuichi chuckled, so he was not in a bad mood, he was just his usual difficult self. That was fine. He could get behind that. “Anyway. I’m probably very uninteresting myself, so really, if you don’t have purple hair or eyes it’s no big deal.”

“I hope you are not fat. Are you fat? I like cute boys. Are you a cute boy? Are you tricking me, making me believe you’re a cute boy?” Kokichi bombarded him with questions, he repeated the word ‘cute’ too many times for Shuichi to fully process.

Did Kokichi really think that he was cute? That was… embarrassing, surprising and a bit flattering all at the same time.

“How am I supposed to know? I’m not tricking you, that’s for sure, I don’t remember myself.” then he finally finished to process the whole thing he said. What was his problem with fat people? “Would you really not like me if I were fat?”

“Hmm…” he looked up placing a finger to his lips. “I guess I’d like you even if you are fat. But I have a reputation to keep! I’ve already said many times I’m only accepting cute boys! So, if you are fat, you better start exercising ASAP.” he pointed the finger at him.

“All right, I’m sure Kaito will agree with that as well.” Shuichi didn’t have anything in opposition to that.

If really he was fat then he wanted to do something for that himself. He was too used to this body, the simple thought of having a different body shape was kind of disturbing.

“Why did you have to remind me of his existence?” Kokichi pouted and then he looked away. “What time it is? How long did I sleep?”

“It’s only midnight or so, you slept for four hours at best. You should sleep more.” Shuichi moved his bangs out of his eyes again.

He had to work a little on these motherly instincts of his. It was getting a little pitiful.

“More than sleep, I would like to eat. I have not eaten anything since morning.”

“Oh.” his stomach dropped. “I’m sorry, I have not thought about that, I should have brought something. You really need to eat more. You’re looking worse every day. I have no idea what’s happening to you, but I don’t like it.” Shuichi was already starting to over think when Kokichi cut him off with a raised eyebrow.

“You realize that eating doesn’t help, right?”

“I…” oh, right. Virtual world stuff. What Kokichi was suggesting was that the problem was on the outside, not the inside. He was left without words. “Kokichi… You’re going to be alright… Right?”

“Of course, Saihara-chan! I’m immortal!” Kokichi smiled, playing off his worries with his usual attitude.

Shuichi was overwhelmed by worry, sadness and a feeling of powerlessness. He hugged him, like he could force him to stay forever and never leave, no matter what.

“You better be, you hear me?” Kokichi kissed him on the forehead, like he was being a kid that needed to be comforted.

“Hey, Saihara-chan, go and deactivate the Bugvacuum please.”

Shuichi was really bothered, why was Amami-kun ‘Rantaro’ and he was just Saihara-chan? Sure, he could do him this favor, but he wanted something in exchange.

“Okay, but as I said a lot of times, I’m Shuichi.” he switched the Bugvacuum off and hurried back into the warmth of the sheets and kitten Kokichi.

“Good, I don’t know how they are going to explain this lack of footage, but it’s their problem. We better not play around too much though, they would do something to stop us if we annoy them too much.” Shuichi raised an eyebrow, not impressed by his blabbering, he was just stalling for time.

“Call me Shuichi.”

Kokichi pursed his lips and furrowed his eyebrows, Shuichi was not sure he was annoyed for real or not. Then he grabbed his collar, like he wanted to butthead him or something.

“…Shuichi…” he whispered hiding his face in the fabric half-way through the word.

Shuichi’s heart swell a little and his cheeks warmed up, he caressed his soft hair a little more. _Finally._ His name on his lips sounded a lot different. It was almost embarrassing, like it was a forbidden word.

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“Have  _you_ slept at all? You’re practically always awake when I wake up.” Kokichi raised an eyebrow at him like he was skeptical.

“I’ve slept enough, don’t you start to worry about me, I’ll be fine. Go back to sleep now, it’s late and you can sleep until morning.” the two of them found a position to be both comfortable to sleep again.

“Okay, you sleep too.”

“Good night Kokichi, have a good rest.”


	23. Opening act

(Ch 91)

When Shuichi woke up he could not recognize the room he was in immediately.

He was starting to panic when he finally remembered the Love Hotel and the whole act thing. He yawned and wondered why something felt wrong. As he stretched a little he realized that something was missing. Someone.

“Kokichi?”

Where had he disappeared to? Shuichi really didn’t want to feel this way, but there was no denying, the first reaction was of betrayal. Had Kokichi waited for him to fall asleep to escape or do something bad? If he really was tricking him again… No, before getting mad he should at the very least try to find him.

“Kokichi?”

Okay, no one was going to answer. He got out of the bed, his last attempt was to search in the bathroom. Before succumbing to panic and anger. He immediately saw Kokichi’s purple hair on the floor, the only colorful spot in the whole white bathroom. He completely succumbed to panic in seconds.

“Kokichi!”

He lunged forward and turned him on his back a little more rudely than needed. He scolded himself, if Kokichi had hit his head he could kill him by turning him so fast! He started to look him all over, in search of what caused this to happen. For one he could not see blood anywhere, which was very good. Next he tried to talk to him, finally observing his face. Kokichi had the eyes open but his eyelids were narrowed, like his eyes were hurting and his purple was dark and clouded. He was not answering any of his questions. He had rested Kokichi's head in his laps, to make sure he was placed in a solid but soft surface, so he felt his muscles move before seeing it. Kokichi was opening and closing his hand slowly and finally started to blink, he screwed his eyes closed for a whole ten seconds and then opened them again. Next he opened his mouth but only a cough came out.

“Kokichi, what happened?!” what could make him end up in this state?!

“’s nothing, calm down…”

_The hell this is nothing!_

“How can I calm down, you were lying on the floor like a corpse! You scared me!” he placed a trembling hand on his ice cold cheek.

_Nothing. RIGHT. NOTHING._

“Sorry, I think I haven’t eaten enough lately…”

Shuichi’s morale dropped below the floor. Kokichi was lying or exaggerating this whole food thing, it was most certainly not the _only_ problem. Maybe he fainted from hunger, but this was not the reason why he was suffering so much. Still, he had a point on the fact that Shuichi forgot to bring him dinner.

“I’m really sorry, I should have brought you something. That was very stupid of me. I didn’t realize you were stuck in here all day. I’m really sorry. I would go get you something right now, but the dining room is closed before 8 am.”

“I’m fine Shuichi, I can wait until later today. Help me up, the floor is cold.”

Shuichi didn’t say anything else, him asking for help of any kind was already extraordinary as it was. He helped him up and then grabbed all the sheets, making a mess of the bed, and created a cocoon for Kokichi to hid into. His boyfriend decided to crawl over to get close to him and Shuichi raised his arms just in time before he let himself drop on his laps again.

“Be my pillow!” he said cheerfully then he turned his face to look up at him with a mischievous expression on his face. “Nishishi! Is my beloved boyfriend scared that I’ll feel his  _enthusiasm_ thanks to this position?”

Yes, this was exactly what he was missing right now. A dirty joke.

“Don’t say stuff like that! I’m not thinking about anything weird!”

“Ohhh! So you  _are thinking something weird!_  What is it? If you tell me, maybe I can think about it, you never know, I may say yes!” his eyes were sparkling again.

It was definitely an improvement from the previously clouded dark purple eyes but still, why he was always feeling better on his expenses?

“Shut up and sleep! I’m not going to fall for your trick this time!”

“Ah-ha! It’s night, so the inner S is surfacing again! I know what I’m supposed to do in this situation!” to Shuichi's extreme annoyance Kokichi sat up and started to crawl away. Was the word _rest_ alien to him? Could he not understand the basic human language? Had his planet of origin an original secret code for resting? He needed a manual of instruction specific for planet-Kokichi. He crawled until he was again with his head on the pillow and raised his arms above his head crossing his wrist. “There we go, I’m in the right position, go recover the handcuff and let’s start!” he stared at his face with a very badly hidden smile. “Well, it’s the position not okay? You rather me facing the wall?”

Planet Kokichi had to be a hellish place, for sure. Of course Shuichi had to grab one of its spawns.

“Can you please,  _please_ , stop saying this weird stuff.” Shuichi hid his face in his hand. “The  _environment_ doesn’t help either. I'm entering self-combustion. You don’t want me to catch on fire, do you?”

Shuichi regretted covering his face when he heard Kokichi’s laugh. It was such a different laugh, not one of his ‘Nishishi’ idiocies, that Shuichi honestly needed a moment to process it. That moment was too long, it gave Kokichi the opportunity to catch him and drag him down on the bed. Shuichi closed his eyes in preparation of some kind of impact, but it came much soften than expected. Shuichi opened his eyes when he realized that they were touching forehead together. Kokichi’s bright purple eyes were a mere inch from him. Shuichi both wanted to run away and gaze into them forever. They were lovely, but too deep. He felt like they could swallow him whole.

“Your eyes are really beautiful. You knew that, beloved-chan?”

Well now, from bondage to compliments? He liked this alternative better, and he was going to let him know that much. Without stopping to think too much he kissed Kokichi again, he was glad when he felt Kokichi’s arms around his back. Kokichi’s scarf tickled him a little on the cheek, and he instinctively reached for the knot to untie it. It was too late when he realized exactly what he was doing, the scarf was already in his hand. He looked at it for a second and then placed it on the other pillow, on his left. Once again he was greeted with Kokichi’s naked neck. He thought again that the neckline of his jacket was weird but he liked it. And it was a part that Kokichi was always keeping covered, for some reason, it was a bit like Shuichi’s hat. He had no proof to back his guess up but he had a feeling that no one was allowed to touch Kokichi’s scarf normally. It was a proof of trust maybe.

“What’s wrong with my scarf? Do you want to leave me a hickey or something?” Kokichi protested, a little flustered.

“Why do you always have to make things weird, I just wanted… No, wait. I forgot. You blabber when you are nervous right?”

Kokichi narrowed his eyes, like he was deciding the appropriate response. Shuichi could not keep himself from smiling, wasn’t this the first time Kokichi could not immediately find a retort to throw at him? Kokichi was too quick at grabbing him and biting his earlobe for Shuichi to even try and escape or defend himself. The feeling of the bite in the sensitive skin was too strong, he jumped back falling on his butt.

“This is what you get for messing with me, S-chan! You may be an S, but I don’t have the vocation to be an M, too bad for you! I’m not a defenseless prey!” Kokichi was mocking him with a huge smile.

If it was true that his scarf was the same as Shuichi’s hat… then he had an idea. Shuichi intertwined his fingers with him and hovered above Kokichi again. His boyfriend’s eyes widened a little. A little part of Shuichi’s mind noticed how small Kokichi really was. Shuichi was, by no mean, a big guy and yet he was overwhelming Kokichi easily. He had already notice the different in height, but while they were both standing it was difficult to notice it properly. Kokichi sometimes looked really like a little kid. He kissed him on the neck, in a place that in his fantasies was supposed to be sensual. He felt Kokichi’s neck muscles contract on instinct.

“O-okay, I think this is more than enough! Tomorrow we have a long day and I’m still a bit tired, we better sleep a bit more.” Kokichi stuttered a little, clearly affected by this.

Shuichi propped himself up and studied his face a little. Kokichi’s cheeks were red and his eyes were sparkling but not with amusement, they were darker and his pupils were a bit larger than usual. His lips were pressed together in a tight line and his chest was raising and lowering irregularly, like he was trying to keep his breath regular. Shuichi decided that this was the right moment to back away a little, he didn’t need to make him feel uncomfortable.

“All right, I’m not sleepy anymore. Do you want to use me as your pillow?” Shuichi smiled as he proposed, hey, this had been his idea!

“Sure!” well, he recovered fast enough.

Shuichi moved Kokichi’s scarf father down the bed and then chose a comfortable position for himself, before inviting him to come over. Kokichi rested his head on his laps again and Shuichi caressed him until he was sure he had fallen asleep. Shuichi napped for ten minutes at a time a couple times, but the position was not working well for him, not to mention he was starting to feel the tension rise for the day ahead. At six he shook Kokichi’s shoulder a little to wake him up gently, after all he had a very light sleep, the littlest movement was enough to wake him up. Kokichi was wide awake in moments.

“Remember, your role is the most important one, take everything I prepared and be thorough, we need to be as precise as possible. You need to wait for the announcement in the hanger, be careful, they can’t get you or it’s game over. If something goes wrong, I’ll see you on the other side, okay?” he told him seriously.

“Let’s try not to make it go wrong, all right?” Shuichi was both trying to reassure him and to warn him to not do anything stupid.

Kokichi just smirked and jumped out of bed. He put on his shoes on the fly and recovered his scarf, working on a new knot. Shuichi got up as well and combed his hair with his fingers then adjusted his clothes a little. He had slept in them again. As soon as Kokichi finished working on his scarf he crouched down to check on the bag he had brought with him. Shuichi knew more or less what was in there, he was supposed to place the objects inside in the hangar in a specific way later. Everything was still in order probably because Kokichi got on his feet again and picked up the bag to hand it to him. Shuichi took it and followed Kokichi outside of the room, in the hallway.

Kokichi extended a hand for the handle of the door, to leave the Hotel, but he stopped before he could touch it, turning in his direction. Kokichi locked eyes with him for a moment, his face didn’t have any particular expression, Shuichi wondered what he was thinking.

The moment ended and Kokichi opened the door, the sunlight leaked from beyond the door blurring the shapes.

The small guy took off running and reached the gate to the courtyard even before Shuichi could take a step into the light. Kokichi raised a hand as farewell, not looking back, and disappeared on the other side.

Shuichi started to walk as well, it was time to work on the opening act.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there!  
> Yep, irregular time and posting day... but hey, I spent the day thinking about how much I didn't want to post an Oasis chapter in between 99 and 100... So here we go, problem solved!  
> I rushed through this to get it done, I literally just finished writing it. It's 4am.  
> Praise me.  
> (Not.)


	24. V for victory

(Ch 93)

When he dropped the bag on the hangar his heart was already beating too fast with anxiety.

He was technically not doing anything wrong at all… but if his friends were to catch him in the act it would be awkward. _Very awkward._

He had a lot of things to do in the littlest time possible. First thing first he should use one of the bombs, Kokichi said they were supposed to disable the cameras instantly for a period, maybe two hours or so, and they were supposed to give him the advantage with the people that were controlling the virtual world from the outside. He searched through the stuff, not pulling anything out, just in case, and found the little pink ball on the very bottom. Shuichi pulled it out and stared at it. It looked so ridiculous. It was evident that Iruma-san made it, it had a print of a mouse on it, the same one she was wearing on her jacket. Why had she taken the time to print this thing on anyway?

Shuichi sighed, was this thing really going to work?

No other choice but to try it. He pulled the trigger and the ball exploded in a little could of smoke and a strong flash of light. Shuichi dropped the bomb, out of scare. Only the burned casing remained. Shuichi blinked rapidly at least ten times but the black spots in his vision were not going away. He didn’t have the time to wait for them to go away, they were annoying but nothing he could do about it. He started to pull out stuff from the bag.

The first thing was Kokichi’s spare set of clothes. He spread them and noticed that Kokichi had already started working on them, they had small holes here and there. Shuichi could only guess that he had done so while he was waiting for him in the Hotel, he had probably been very bored waiting for him for hours. Next was a bottle of red wine. Honestly, Shuichi never even noticed it in the kitchen, maybe because he didn’t like to drink alcohol, and he was not at the right age either. At first, he had asked himself why would the programmers add a bottle of an alcoholic drink in a virtual reality inhabited by children but then he found the answer himself. Toujo-san had been an Ultimate Maid, some dishes required red wine to be cooked, like a lot of types of meat. This wine was not for drinking, it was for cooking. And maybe… maybe they were hoping that someone would break the law so to amuse the audience a bit more. It could be a possibility. Then he pulled out a tiny bottle with ‘Strike-9 Poison Antidote’ written on it. Shuichi was glad it was just antidote, he was not comfortable with the idea of handling real mortal poison. The last thing was a black bag with inside a disassembled crossbow and three arrows.

Now it was time to start working on the placement, and he needed to do it fast.

He had to open the bottle and spill everything all over the place so he figured the best sequence of actions was to first do what didn’t need to be soaked on wine and then do all wine-related stuff later. So he picked up the bag and the arrows and he placed them on the bathroom floor. This little bathroom was where Kokichi had trapped Kaito, and it was the whole reason why Shuichi had been able to trap Kokichi and talk to him. Next he searched for his old Electrohammer, Kokichi said he had hidden it there in advance, while he was preparing the treasure hunt, so they would have less stuff to drag around. He found it inside the washing machine for the Exisals and he just placed it in a casual spot of the floor. And now it was wine time.

He opened the bottle with some difficulties. He had never opened a bottle of wine with a cork stopper, he was afraid to make a disaster, he needed that wine, he could not spill it all over the place, and at the same time he could not take half an hour just to open that thing. He pulled the cork carefully but with a fair amount of strength and luckily a disaster was averted. Shuichi placed the now useless cork inside the press, and then started to unbutton his jacket. He threw the jacket into the press carelessly for the moment, and started to spill at least half the wine on it. When it was soaked he grabbed it and dragged it around the floor to the bathroom, creating a sweeping trace. He dropped the jacket in there, creating a puddle, and went back to grab Kokichi’s clothes and the antidote.

Shuichi soaked a finger in his own jacket and started to paint with it all over the label of the antidote, leaving only the word ‘poison’ clean. He placed the bottle of antidote near the three arrows and then spilled another quarter of the bottle of wine on Kokichi’s jacket. At this point the biggest part of the job was done, he grabbed his jacket again and placed it a lot more carefully in the press, leaving only a sleeve dangling out from it. Next he spilled all the remaining wine, it started to run down the press and reach the floor. It looked pretty well made from afar.

Last step was to leave the bottle in the press, with the rest, and climb to the platform that had the controls for the press. He pressed the button and waited for it to slowly go down. He was reminded of the time when Kiibo-kun almost got smashed in it. This time luckily he was just smashing mostly useless stuff, so he was not anxious about it as the first time. The press descended slowly and steadily, the first thing that got smashed was of course the bottle, the sound of glass getting smashed was almost muffled by the noise of the press and only a couple shards flew out of it, he had to collect them later.

Seconds later the press came to a stop, his work was almost complete. He left the platform and took another look at his ‘masterpiece’ from afar, and after deciding that it was okay he pulled the cable that was connecting the press to the control panel and tore it off. Now no one could raise the press anymore, no one could discover that there was no body in there. Shuichi hurried to grab the bag and searched the floor for any elusive shard and picked them up. He hurried to the entrance, took another look back and closed the shutter with a sigh of relief.

Now he just needed to run away and hide somewhere.

He was only halfway through the long hallway of the hangar when the morning announcement played and Kokichi’s voice was all over the place, resonating on the bare metallic walls. Shuichi almost smiled when he heard him talk nonsense, like always. He really had reached the point when his nonsense were fun and normal to listen too, who would have thought. But he needed to really pick up the pace, in moments the others were going to come running.

When he reached the door and finally left, he breathed some fresh air even though if this was virtual air it couldn’t be all that fresh. In seconds he realized that surely they were already running down the stairs in the lower part of the garden he didn’t have time to hide anywhere fancy. He ran to the closest place there was: Iruma-san’s Lab.

He slammed the door shut breathing hard, more from nervousness than tiredness. He threw the bag in the trash bin on the right and sat on the floor, taking finally a break. Now the first act was completed and he had managed to not let himself get caught, which was already a blessing. The time limit for this operation was either the start of the trial, or 1 pm. He had a very long time of waiting ahead of him.

He wanted to have breakfast. And lunch.

He was very hungry, he had not eaten anything since noon the previous day. But he could really not risk anything right now, there was no way to be sure they would remain in the hangar and not try to search for Kokichi or proofs outside. He just could pray that no one would have the idea of checking in there because there was really nowhere to hide, only a lot of stuff organized in a way that only Iruma-san would understand.

Time was passing too slowly, Shuichi had too much time on his hands, he started to play a lot of bad scenarios in his head. What if the others had been able to find Kokichi somehow, maybe Shirogane told them? If she was really the mastermind then she had to know about Kokichi’s Lab. Until that day she had kept the secret, because she didn’t want to be found out probably, but what if Kokichi managed to irritated her enough? What if they would kill Kokichi? What if Kokichi was wrong and he was really going to die? Like, for real? No, he really needed to stop with that line of thought. But even assuming the virtual world was a real thing, if Kokichi was to die what would Shuichi do, all alone? Keep going with the plan alone? Was he even capable of doing that? No, the answer was no. If Kokichi died it was game over, fair and simple.

Honestly, if Kokichi died he was not sure he wanted to keep going even if he could've.

By noon his stomach was becoming annoyingly painful. Unfortunately he was sure there was nothing to eat in the Lab. The girl had a lot of stuff of every kind, mostly half-built machines, but no food. He could not present himself in the hangar like this, he would not have enough focus to lie properly. He felt a bit stupid, sneaking around like a thief, but he ran up the stairs and then hid behind the dorm. There was no one around, the coast was clear. The kitchen looked like a haven for once. Normally Shuichi was not a food lover, it was not like he didn’t like to eat or anything, just he always considered food a necessity not necessarily a pleasure. There were foods he liked better than others, and foods he hated more than others, but besides that he was pretty much neutral about everything. Now the rice balls tasted better than ever. It made him think about the saying ‘everything tastes good when you are hungry’. It was the first time he ever confirmed it personally.

When he finished the rice balls he grabbed a chocolate bar to take away and eat while walking back to the hangar. He was just about to leave when he took a look at the clock and saw that it would be 1 pm in only ten minutes. He started to run again, afraid that he was going to make problems for Kokichi and himself if he was too late. He reached the hangar entrance with a labored breath and took a moment to catch it back. There was no clock in there but he was pretty sure it was the right time. He took three deep breath to recompose himself, he shouldn’t look flustered, but confident. According to Kokichi anyway.

He peeked inside. The situation was pretty calm but grim, they looked very lost. It was not like they wouldn’t look that way all the times but Shuichi wondered if the lacking of the detective that was solving all their problems was affecting them a little. Sure, he was always trying to cheer them up, saying they were useful and stuff, but there was no denying. Just like with Gonta’s case, they would just drop the whole weight on his shoulders and participate the bare minimum. Sure, Kaito had always the best intentions, and Harukawa-san was helpful in her own way, but Shuichi had a feeling they were all so calm and confident going into a class trail only because he was there. Just like Shuichi felt confident the time he thought he could count on Kokichi’s help.

Maybe… maybe he didn’t realize it but he had become a bit more adult and sure of himself.

Maybe he was not half the disaster he thought he was. Maybe he deserved to be a little more appreciative of himself.

He unwrapped the chocolate and took a big bite.

“Wow, what’s that?” they all turned to look at him, with alarm in their faces. “It looks like a lot of red, did something happen?”

In moments he was surrounded by shouting people, Kaito hugged him and patted him all over, like he was searching for some terrible wound or a missing limb. Yumeno-san hugged him in a rare and surprising showcase of affection, he didn’t even think she liked him at all. Now that he was thinking about it the same thing had happened with Chabashira-san. Yumeno-san had some problems showing her emotions normally, in front of everyone, but when something unexpected was to happen she was one of the most affected ones. Shuichi gave her a little squeeze on her shoulder to comfort her and thank her all at the same time. He almost wanted to apologize but this had to pass for one of Kokichi’s pranks, he could not come out in the open and admit it himself. Harukawa-san smiled to him to greet him but then she turned to look at the press.

“What the hell is going on? Why is there your jacket in there?”

“Oh, that? Kok-I mean, Ouma took it. He kept me captive until now.” and here was the lie they had planned together.

“What? Why would he do that? What’s that stuff in the press?” Kaito was filled with disbelief. Shuichi could not blame him.

“Hmm…” Shuichi hummed in fake concentration and crouched near the sleeve of his jacket to poke the red stuff with a finger. He put his fingertip into his mouth with conviction. He knew what it was so that little display was to make him look more intelligent than he really was. Putting unknown stuff in your mouth is a thing you don’t do. “Hmm! It’s red wine. I see. He chose this because of the smell, ketchup or tomato juice would have smelled sweet.”

“You cannot be serious…”

Shuichi was grateful he was still crouched down because he almost chuckled out loud. This plan was so silly but it worked. Kokichi had scored himself another victory.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to come out yesterday but to finish it I would have to pull another all-nighter, noooo thank you.  
> For anyone who is interested in my future project, Oasis is almost done, I need more or less another 20 days.  
> Yeah, I know I know, 20 days sound like an eternity, but I really need them both because I'm writing Oasis and it takes time and because I'm writing 3 other things at the same time. I've done a little too many all-nighters lately.  
> And one of these three things is indeed my next project, don't worry, I'm already halfway through chapter 2, it's not like I'm slaking off :P  
> See you in around 4 days with the next chapter!


	25. Everlasting worries

(Ch 95)

Shuichi and all the others ate together in the dining hall, something Shuichi was grateful for since he was still hungry. They all wanted a piece of him, they wanted to know where Kokichi had kept him trapped, where Kokichi was now, why he had gone through the trouble of doing all this. Shuichi knew the answer to all their questions but didn’t answer sincerely to any of them. Kokichi had rubbed off on him a whole lot.

They finished eating very late and he could not wait to go back to his secret lair to see if Kokichi liked his acting skill or not. He had to wait for all of them to start to disperse before he could sneak into the tunnel. He barely had the time to enter the Lab that a wrecking ball hit him right in the stomach and made him fell over.

 “Hey! Boyfriend-chan! I’m so proud of you!” Kokichi nuzzled his nose all over Shuichi’s shirt in a strange imitation of a cat.

“Wow there… You scared me!” Shuichi grabbed Kokichi by the shoulder to stop him from pushing him down on the floor.

“You were super duper amazing! You are promoted from Boyfriend-chan to Best Boyfriend-chan!” Kokichi somehow stretched his neck far enough to keep his nuzzling going.

“I can deduce that you liked my little performance there. Glad to hear that.” Shuichi could barely stop himself from asking outright his opinion.

He actually wanted some praises but he didn’t want to ask. Begging for compliments was pretty pitiful.

“Ohh!  _I can deduce!_ Have I already told you that you are kind of sexy when you go all Detective-mode?” Kokichi grinned with his eyes sparkling, teasing him.

“There you go again…” he was not going to get any praise. Figured. But he could _deduce,_ yeah, that he liked it because he was too happy to be mad or disappointed. “You are in very high spirit or am I mistaken?”

“I’m in super good spirit! This was a huge success Shuichi! We conquered the world!” he sprung to his feet and run at the center of the Lab. “We now stand on top of the whole wide world!”

“Sure, as you say. Have you eaten anything?” surely while they were all to the hangar he went to eat right?

If not then how many hours had he remained without eating? Kokichi better have eaten something or he was going to scold him for good this time. It was absolutely no good for him to stay with an empty stomach for so long. Virtual world or not he had experienced hunger for himself, it was definitely not something you could ignore.

“Yeah, yeah mom! Geez! Instead of trying to flirt with me, you are trying to become my mom, can’t say I’m a fan of that fantasy!”

With his lips pursed he ran up to him and grabbed his wrist tugging to make him stand and walk. He forced him on the mattress by jumping down and dragging him along. Shuichi had to hurry and get on all four because otherwise he would end up falling directly onto him and probably get both hurt.

“Nishishi! What do you want as a reward Super Beloved Boyfriend-chan?” Kokichi ignored his reproachful glare and kept blabbing about.

Super Beloved Boyfriend-chan? What was next? Super Duper Beloved Amazing Adorable Boyfriend-chan? He could see this being the next thing.

“I want you to stop adding adjectives to my ‘title’, can’t you just call me Shuichi?” it was not like he was mad, more like amused.

“Buuu, that’s boring!” he pouted again and went full cat-mode crawling all over him.

He waited for him to find his preferred position and then hugged his back, petting his soft strands that were rebelling against him. No matter what direction he was trying to make them stay they were immediately swinging the other direction. They were too similar to their owner.

“What did you drink Kokichi? You are acting like you are drunk.” he liked this version of Kokichi but he could not shake off the sensation he was being a little too affectionate. Kokichi raised his head to stare at him with narrowed eyes. “For real though, you really seem drunk.”

“Well, yeah, I feel a bit lightheaded. I haven’t drink anything though, you suck as a Detective.” he stuck his tongue at him and then hid his face back in his chest.

Lightheaded? Nice, another symptom to add to the list. He could just not catch a break, could he?

“And of course, you’re still cold. And probably sleepy.”

“Didn’t I tell you to stop worrying about me?” Kokichi shrugged.

“Yeah, you did. I’m still not happy about this.” telling him to stop worry wouldn’t result automatically into him stop caring about it. He cared a whole lot. “Kokichi, I think you should lie down and sleep.” Shuichi broke the hug.

“Only if you lie down too, honey!” he smirked, amused that he could still get under his skin.

“Do you hate my name or something?” Kokichi started to slip inside the blanket and shifting to find his best position. Shuichi waited for him to stop moving before moving around himself. “How many times have I told you already?”

“Well, Double S-chan, your name,  _Shuichi,_ looks a bit too similar to mine. Shuichi? Kokichi? Both ‘ichi’?” he shrugged like it was a matter of fact. “Why can’t you be Harold? I like Harold better. Do you like Harold?” Kokichi tilted his head, staring at him with wide eyes.

“No. I really don’t like Harold.” how could he find fuel for his nonsense literally everywhere? Harold. Absurd.

“Buuu, you are boring  _Shuichi_ -chan.” he sing-sang a little, in his usual imitation of a little kid, then hid his face into his jacket, like most of the times.

Shuichi wondered if he had some kind of complex about letting his face seen while he was cuddling. Maybe something along the lines of not having perfect control over his mask? He wanted to see that. He wanted to see more of the Kokichi beyond the mask. He hoped to get a lot more opportunities to do so, for now he was not confident enough in his ‘seductive skills’ to try and convince him to show something.

“Great, now you are adding the chan to it. This must be some kind of punishment…” he sighed in an exaggerated way, not really expecting an answer, he just wanted to be the one that got the last word, for once.

It wasn’t long that he could feel Kokichi relax into his hug and fall asleep. Shuichi sighed again, in his hair, observing as the strands were shaking because of his breath. He chuckled softly and they shook again, it was totally silly and totally fulfilling for some strange reason. He placed a light kiss on the purple strands as well, he would never do it if Kokichi was awake but now he was sleeping so he could. He didn’t want to seem like a clingy loser to him, Kokichi was a cuddling type, apparently, but he never went much further, except for some special situations like in the Love Hotel. Shuichi was pretty sure Kokichi would accept these kinds of interaction only when he was in the right mood. He didn’t want to risk sending their relationship back some steps by choosing the wrong timing.

He fell asleep as well, shortly after, and dreamt a collage of moments with Kokichi. Now the purple gremlin was invading his dreams as well. Figured. He was the type to infiltrate wherever he could and to be proud of it. Not that Shuichi had any particular complaint about him invading anything. When he woke up it was already noon. He had slept from the evening till noon? Well, that was a new record. Sure, he didn’t like mornings, he liked to sleep until late, but still he had never actually slept from so soon in the evening until so late in the day. He was even more surprised when he saw that Kokichi had not moved an inch, he was still there, breathing softly into his chest. He would have excepted him to start yelling about wasted time or whatever.

He tightened the hug a little bit. Satisfied with his current arrangement and with the fact that Kokichi actually listened to him for once. As an hour and a half passed through an ugly feeling started to bite his stomach. What if he was not actually just sleeping? Sure, he was breathing, but he had not moved at all either, he was like a puppet, completely limp. Something similar already happened once, in the Love Hotel. Sure, now he was warm and had a nice complexion…

Well, Shuichi decided that he had slept enough anyway. He could eat something and then they could discuss their next move. Yes, this was the best idea.

“Kokichi?” he whispered softly in his ear, shaking him just a tiny little bit.

No reaction whatsoever.

“Kokichi?” he said in a slightly louder tone, shaking him again.

Nothing.

“Kokichi?” he said again, out loud this time and he propped himself with an elbow to grab Kokichi’s shoulder properly and gave it a shake.

Again, no reaction.

“Kokichi, wake up.” he repeated again and again, at every shake Kokichi's head was just following the motion lifelessly, like a ragdoll.

Okay, that was enough for gentles.

“Kokichi!” he shouted, giving him a good shake.

He rolled on his back, no other reaction to be seen. Shuichi shouted again, now taking both his shoulder and shaking them. His shouts were becoming painful to hear. Kokichi’s eyes flickered a little and then he frowned.

“KOKICHI!!”

Kokichi finally woke up with a jolt, startled. His eyes wide and his hand searching for what was shaking him.

“Hmmm?! What?! Shuichi!” he finally recognized him.

“Kokichi! Please, don’t scare me like this!” he didn’t want to yell in his face but he could not help himself.

“Hmm? Whassap?” Kokichi didn’t seem to understand the situation at all.

“It’s been more than ten minutes that I’ve been calling you! You wouldn’t wake up no matter what! You really scared me! You have slept for more than eleven hours!” Shuichi hugged him trying to calm his heart.

He felt Kokichi’s arm around him, he was trying to comfort him. Which was ridiculous, it was like Shuichi was the one with the problem that needed help, not the exact opposite. It was so frustrating. Why this was always happening? Why Kokichi was still reacting like his problems were of no concern for Shuichi and he needed to take care of them by himself?

This was never-ending. It was never going to end.

The circle of worry and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three more chapters to go!  
> I'll try to post again in 4 days or sooner!


	26. You need me as much as I need you

(Ch 97)

“Sorry! I was having a nice dream about the two of us! I didn’t want to leave in exchange for the cruel reality!” Kokichi grinned.

Shuichi immediately sensed that he was trying to distract him and cover for the problem, like always. He sighed and rested his forehead against his, hoping to convey his presence to him.

_I’m here, please, rely on me._

“So, I’m losing against my dream version, hm?” it could have been a nice joke if only his voice would cooperate with him.

“Well, I may reconsider if you do me a favor!” Kokichi spoke cheerfully, like he had not noticed his distress but there was just no way that was the case.

“What is it?” he backed away, knowing that it was useless to keep trying, his message was not getting to him at all.

“Can you make me a warm soup? I really am in the mood for a warm, nutritious vegetable soup!”

“Sure, but I don’t know if I’m any good at making soups.” well, at least food was a reasonable request, it could’ve been worst.

“Whatever Shuichi, I’ll accompany you to the door like a good wife, okay?” Kokichi got on his feet urging him to move.

He linked arms with him and started to drag him out of the Lab. There was no mistaking it, he wanted Shuichi to go away as soon as possible so he could recover all by himself. Shuichi was both happy that he was being so considerate and unhappy that he was so secretive. Maybe he knew why he had slept for so long, Shuichi was suspecting Kokichi knew what was going on better than anyone and he just didn’t want to share. At the end of the tunnel he even kissed him all of a sudden. Definitely, he was trying real hard to make him forget everything.

As if.

“I’ll be back soon.” Shuichi climbed out of the tunnel and closed it behind him.

Shuichi knew he had no reason to be tense, he had all the rights in the world to be in the dining room, but he looked around as he was walking anyway, feeling self-conscious. He met Kiibo-kun on the way and he was asked what he was doing. Shuichi told him he wanted to eat something, since it was pretty much the truth, but he took a big risk in doing so. If Kiibo-kun insisted about ‘eating’ with him he could not go back to Kokichi as soon as possible. Yes, Kiibo-kun was a robot so he was not eating but he was still joining them in the dining room at every meal. But Kiibo-kun didn’t insist.

“I’m happy to see you, I was searching for you in place of Kaito. He wanted to make sure you are okay.” he said.

“In place of Kaito?” Shuichi asked.

“Yes, Kaito is not feeling well… He is in his room, with Harukawa. Kaito tried to convince her to come search for you but she refused to leave so I took this duty instead. Where were you? You should go and meet him, he would be happy to see you, you know? I’m sure being worried doesn’t help his health.” Kiibo-kun smiled.

And Shuichi felt guilty as hell.  What if this was not a virtual reality and Kaito was really feeling sick, or… dying? He should really go and see for himself how he was feeling, and keep him some company. Kokichi could survive without him for an hour or two, surely.

Why both options felt terrible? He was worried about Kaito but he was worried about Kokichi as well.

“I’ll go and see him, I promise. Thank you for being such a good friend Kiibo-kun.” Shuichi nodded.

Kiibo-kun nodded back and walked away. Shuichi hurried to the kitchen and searched for the vegetable soup. Sure, Shuichi was aware that cook fresh vegetables was way better than anything that could come out of the pre-prepared soup, but that would take a long time and his culinary ability was very poor. Definitely it was not worth the trouble. So he just grabbed the box, opened it and placed the content in a pot with water. He had read the quantity of water and the cooking time on the back of the box so he waited patiently for ten minutes. The result was pretty much what Shuichi was expecting, a soup that had not much flavor and vegetables that were impossible to recognize. At least it was not horrendous.

He transferred half of it in the bowl and cover it to keep the warmth inside, then he set aside the pot as well, in case someone wanted to have the other half portion. Probably no one wanted it but it was still better than to just threw it away. He walked slowly back in the entrance hall and placed the bowl on the floor, even though it was not really hygienic, to open the tile. In the end he had decided to bring this to Kokichi first and then go see Kaito later.

He walked in the tunnel much slower than he would have liked it but he needed to keep his pace steady so he would not drop the soup all over his shoes. The tunnel light was dim but he realized that something was strange when he saw a lot more light than usual coming from the corner. The door to Kokichi’s Lab was still open and the bright white light on the inside was leaking through the tunnel. Shuichi’s heart started to beat with nervousness, but he forced himself to not start running. Maybe Kokichi just left it open to welcome him better, so he would not have trouble with the bowl. After all Kokichi was always spying on everyone from the monitors, if he saw someone unwanted enter his tunnel he surely could barricade his door from the inside.

When he entered he found Kokichi staring blankly into space, kneeled on the ground.

“Kokichi, I’m back… What are you doing on the floor like this?”

Kokichi turned his head toward him in a haze. Where those… tears? Dried up tears?

“Kokichi? Is something wrong? Kokichi?”

Shuichi’s heart sped up but he forced himself to place the bowl down gently before running up to him and taking him by the shoulder to take a good look at his face.

“Kokichi?! Are you crying? What happened?”

“They exist…” his voice was unlike any before.

“What? Who?”

Kokichi suddenly grabbed him by the shoulders, his fingers clawing at them almost painfully.

“They exist! They really exist, they’re still them!” his enthusiasm exploded in full bloom.

Shuichi was startled by the sudden aggression, even though he knew it was coming. He didn’t hang out with Kokichi for so long to be scared of something that was easily predictable. It upset him that Kokichi got a reaction out of him when he was hoping to play it cool. He didn’t want to be the victim forever, this needed to become a give and take of teasing. But he could forgive himself this time, he had been afraid that Kokichi had something wrong but instead he was just messing around. But still, why the tears?

“I don’t understand! What are you talking about?!”

Kokichi hugged him and shook him back and forth making Shuichi feel a little motion-sick.

“They exist!”

He was just going to keep messing around to death, was he not? Yes, the answer was yes. Shuichi was just wasting his time listening to him seriously.

“Okay… sure, as you say. They exist.” he sighed in his mind. “Now, I really think you should eat your soup and then I’m going to search for some medicine for you… I have no idea what kind, but…”

A calming drug perhaps?

Kokichi started to laugh and it was such a crystalline laugh that Shuichi got distracted. It was the first time he had ever heard a laugh that was not an act coming out of his mouth. It was a great laugh.

“Shuichi! Maybe I’m an idiot for believing in this so easily ,but… They exist!” Kokichi smiled at him breaking the hug.

How much longer was he going to repeat the same sentence over and over again without giving it any context?

“Ooookay, sure… Do you think a painkiller is a good choice or is something else better?”

“Will you stop treating me like I’m drunk? Or stupid? Or both? I’m neither! I’m perfectly fine! I don’t need medicine!” he yelled with his lips in a cute pout.

“I beg to differ.” Shuichi raised his eyebrows trying to play it cool.

“Geez! You are no fun! I’m just happy and you should be happy that I’m happy!” he stopped pouting to grin at him.

“If you are happy I’m happy. I would just like to know  _why.”_ Shuichi rolled his eyes, happy that he had returned his usual silly self.

“Hmm…” Kokichi placed a finger on his lips, thinking, or pretending to at least.“Because I have the best boyfriend in the world?” he tried again with his cutesy act.

“Yeah, nice try.” Shuichi sighed. It did work… but only a tiny little bit. Not that he was going to admit it, that was asking for trouble. “Will you eat your soup at least?”

“Yep! Then we have a lot of work to do! We are running on a schedule here!” he sprung on his feet, looking ready to run a marathon.

“Are we… going out?” Shuichi’s anxiety perked up again, but he kept it at bay.

He already knew that this moment was going to arrive, sooner or later, and this was probably the best moment. If Kaito really was going to die… then he didn’t want to be there to see. It was maybe the worst thing he could ever think, but he preferred to die now together with him than to survive another day without. They were all doomed anyway, to wait longer was to suffer longer. And if Kokichi was right then he was going to see them all on the other side, which was a great perspective. Not to mention every moment was a potential last moment for Kokichi, Harukawa-san would not spare him if she found him.

He needed Kokichi to keep himself grounded. It was better to die than to lose him.

He liked to think that it was the same for Kokichi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two more chapters to go!  
> Again, I'll try to get the next one before 4 days :)


	27. One last moment

(Ch 97 – 99)

Kokichi was wolfing down his soup but Shuichi was not sure he could flatter himself thinking that his soup was good or not. Actually, since the soup came from the box, he could not flatter himself either way.

Like most things with Kokichi, he was great for killing self-confidence, everything looked less once presented to him.

“We are going on an adventure! You better be ready!” he slurped down the remaining of the soup in one long sip. Then he swiped his mouth with his sleeve. It was a gross thing to do but somehow Kokichi managed to make it look cool. Still gross though. “But first… I want a kiss!”

Kokichi crossed his legs and puffed his chest, turning to him, his eyes shut and a silly face. Shuichi stared at him with his head tilted for a while. Should he take the bait or not?  Half of him was not thrilled to kiss him after he just swept the soup off in that stupid way the other half just wanted to have another moment with him, before the end, possibly of both their lives. Another little part of him wanted to pinch his nose, just to give him back a little of his teasing. Just a little pinch. But he was pretty sure Kokichi was not so easy to catch off guard.

Leaving aside all these thoughts Shuichi focused only on Kokichi’s face. He had a little wrinkle in between his eyebrows, it could either be caused by concentration or by a little bit of nervousness. His bang was kinda in the way and it looked a little less fluffy than usual, maybe because he had slept a lot and he was not a hundred percent okay. His cheeks were pale, like always, but maybe today more than usual. Or maybe he was just projecting his own anxiety onto him. Looking at his cheeks he noticed them, the traces of his tears. His long eyelashes were a little stuck together because of the salt.

Shuichi extended a hand and gently tried to erase all these signs from his face. Now that he was thinking about it, normally, when he was just faking his crying, these marks would never stick around. Was this a proof that his tears had been genuine for once? If so it was already the second time he saw him cry for real. A big honor probably. He took his time to get closer to him, memorizing all his features, he clearly saw the little wrinkle disappear. He felt happy to see that he had been able to relax him enough. Shuichi closed his eyes and open his lips slightly to savor the kiss but he stilled when Kokichi started talking suddenly.

“Hey Shuichi, you know that I really like you, right? I may already have told you, or maybe not. I just want to make sure you know this.”

Shuichi was devoid of words. He felt warmth enveloping him fast, leaving him almost out of breath. This was… what he wanted, hoped, and more.

“I know… Thank you…”

“You are welcome S-chan!” Kokichi’s sudden yell destroyed the mood in a second.

Shuichi jumped back covering his ears, he had been too close, his obnoxious voice hit his eardrums painfully. He sighed loudly, it was such a good moment and now it was completely ruined. Kokichi being Kokichi in his Kokichiest. And being the ridiculous tease that he was, after waiting for more than ten minutes for Shuichi to kiss him, he just kissed him himself, rubbing him of the opportunity. Then Kokichi started to caress his back and he stopped thinking so much, he wanted this moment after all. Shuichi wondered for a moment if the programmers were really so invested in this virtual world that they were giving flavor to Kokichi’s mouth. The taste of the soup disappeared quickly replaced by a sweet flavor resembling sugar with a hint of sour. This didn’t seem to be about what he was actually eating, more about… a representation of Kokichi as a person? It was a pretty fitting flavor, he had to applaud the programmers for this. He wanted to memorize this flavor forever, Kokichi’s flavor.

Shuichi completely lost track of the time, it could’ve been a moment like a day when Kokichi broke the kiss. He sighed silently and looked around, already focused on the present. The spell broken and reality returning. They remained close for a moment longer, savoring each other’s warmth but then Kokichi gestured him to get up. Together they dragged the mattress in the bathroom and tried to empty the water in the toilet, half the water splashed around on the floor, to Kokichi’s annoyance, but it was not like they were going to use it again. Then he folded the blue plastic empty mattress into a little square and tossed it behind his ‘throne’. Next the two of them grabbed all the stuff that was scattered around, mostly empty plastic bottles and snack wrappers. They made two bags full of garbage, last Kokichi placed the key card on his desk. Shuichi remembered like it was a life ago the time he had walked into the tunnel with all the others, only to find an ‘apocalyptic’ scenario waiting for them and a creepy Kokichi. Hard to believe it was less than a week ago.

They took a bag each and started to walk to the exit of the tunnel, still in silence. Shuichi observed for a moment Kokichi’s free hand on his right, it was so pale and small, it looked like it could use some warmth. He blushed a little, feeling silly. They had done a whole lot of stuff, often more impressive than this, but every time one of those sappy thoughts was passing in his head he was feeling like one of these cringy lovers in sit-coms. Next he would start to do the same that Kokichi was doing, but not in a mocking way; call him beloved and honey. He felt a shudder, no, he’d rather die than to start to sweet call him like this. But still his hand was… Kokichi was staring at him. He tilted his head a little, his strands tilting with him framing his face. Shuichi tried to hide his interest, aware that he was being transparent. Kokichi’s grin told him as much at least. He was the one that grabbed his hand instead. As always he was the one that lost the opportunity to get the first move, next time for sure. His hand was just as cold as it looked.

“Are you going to be okay?” he asked after another moment of silence.

“Of course! Don’t worry, I’m difficult to kill, Miss Girlfriend won’t have an easy target!” Kokichi nodded cheerfully.

“Are you positive we have to use your Lab? Wouldn’t be better for you to stay hidden in here until the last moment?” here was his motherly side talking again.

 “Of course, that would be safer. But I don’t think that dropping the key card in the middle of the dining room will have the same effect. Here is a lot more believable, since they never saw this room before and it’s well hidden. Do you doubt my brain, Boyfriend-chan?” Kokichi raised an eyebrow at him.

“You really have to remark the fact that you think your brain is better than mine, don’t you? You are so modest ‘Boyfriend-chan’. Okay, I get it, but if Harukawa-san catches you it’s game over.”

“Worst case scenario, I guess I can hide under the floor again.” Kokichi shrugged.

“What? What floor?” he knew what floor, _he knew._

“The empty room upstairs. Remember after the fourth trial? You where at the entrance, I couldn’t hide in my Lab, I had to improvise. I hid under the floor, removing the floorboard that almost killed me during the third investigation. Me and that floorboard have a very intimate bond at this point!” Kokichi smirked.

“You… hid under the floor. Of course. Why am I not surprised?” because he already had a feeling. But he was not going to tell all he felt that day, nope. “That explains why I wasn’t able to find you. I searched everywhere!”

“Nishishi! I’m a genius!” Kokichi’s bright smile made Shuichi smile in return.

“Yeah, sure. As long as you are sure about that.” he was really intelligent, but Shuichi knew better than to feed his ego.

“W-what?! I-I thought y-you like me?! W-why are you so mean to me?!” here they were, Kokichi’s fake tears that didn’t leave any trace.

“Oh, It’s been a while since last time you used this trick. You must be in a good mood!”

Kokichi stuck his tongue with narrowed eyes, unimpressed by his reaction.

“Nishishi! You are starting to understand me a little too well, I better find some new trick to keep you entertained! I don’t what to risk to bore you and get dumped, that’s a big no-no!”

Kokichi thought he was understanding him? Though luck, he could understand him once in ten times.

“I… have a feeling that getting bored of you is actually quite the challenge.” and it was not a lie.

“Uhh! You know how to stoke my ego, too! This is bad S-chan! Real bad!” he tried to sound worried or maybe irritated but his voice could not be identified with anything else than excited.

“Okay, alright,”  Shuichi leaned forward to kiss him on the forehead, next to his silly purple strand that tickled his chin. “I’ll see you in a bit.” it was a wish, not a fact.

“Sure, worst come to worst I’ll see you in death, I suppose! Later Chan-chan!”

_No, no. Chan-chan was where the line was to be drawn._

He climbed outside of the secret tunnel complaining, hopefully loud enough for Kokichi to hear but pretend it was an accident. If Kokichi’s grin was any indication he heard perfectly. They separated, Kokichi climbed the stairs up while Shuichi left the building. He walked fast to reach the dormitory, then he climbed the stairs to Kaito’s room. As soon as he knocked Harukawa-san opened the door violently, sending a murdering glare at the person knocking. Shuichi took a step back raising his hands to demonstrate his peaceful intentions. Harukawa-san’s glare lost its edge.

“I thought it was that bastard, coming to kill Kaito.” she murmured as an excuse.

“Who? Why?”

Harukawa-san looked away, clearly she didn’t want to say. Shuichi tried to suppress his bad feeling. Had someone done something? Probably Shirogane. Shuichi entered the room and his eyes fixed on Kaito, laying on the bed. His complexion looked horrible, even worse than Kokichi’s which was astonishing. But exactly like Kokichi, Kaito was trying to hide it as well, he refused to lie down completely he was sitting and playing with a pillow, restless. He never realized how similar Kokichi and Kaito sometimes were. As soon as Kaito’s eyes localized him he brightened up.

“Bro! Where were you? Don’t go around alone, that little shit has an unhealthy obsession with you… even before he was always ‘Saihara-chan,  Saihara-chan!’” Kaito's impression of Kokichi made him actually physically cringe. “But now he is clearly picking on you, stay close, you shouldn’t go around alone!”

“I know that but I just could not sit and wait! That secret room was bothering me too much, I tried to retrace all my steps and see where exactly he could have brought me and… I think I found it! There is a mysterious secret passage on the entrance hall!”

Shuichi felt guilty as heck, even worst when he saw the little shine that lit up into Kaito’s eyes. He was being honestly an asshole. He was taking advantage of the fact that they didn't really know the limits of detective works. 'Retracing my steps' when blinded was not a thing. Harukawa-san’s eyes instead darkened and she walked out of the room fast. Kaito yelled at her to wait and got really agitated, stumbling out of bed. Kiibo-kun hurried to his side and lent him a shoulder. Kaito shouted, agitated, that they needed to follow Harukawa-san immediately before she could kill someone. Even if it was Kokichi, he still wanted to capture him alive, not to kill him. Shuichi was pretty touched by that.

They all walked as fast as possible toward the entrance hall, but Harukawa-san had a huge advantage. In another time Gonta could’ve carried Kaito on his shoulders, but right now no one was strong enough to do that, so Kaito had to limp himself all the way. When they arrived the tile was already open, Shuichi felt a momentarily wave of panic but he knew Kokichi was not inside. Kaito started to insist he wanted to go down there as well to stop her and Shuichi asked everyone to hurry and help him. He knew he was not putting up such a good performance but this was the best he could manage right now.

Even though he knew what was going on he had panic scratching at his throat.

It was the last moment before the end of the world.

Literally probably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next is last!!  
> I'm excited to move forward!  
> I'll try to get that one done in three days as well, wait for it!


	28. Until the end, I want to be with you

(Ch99)

When Shuichi was finally able to reach the Lab, Kaito and the others in toe, Harukawa-san was already moving the shelves around in search of a secret door or something equally hidden. The bathroom door was wide open, showing that she had already searched there, probably the first place she tried. All the random decorations in the Lab were on the floor, thrown off the shelves. Kaito and the others, after confirming that Kokichi was nowhere to be seen, gathered in front of the monitors with surprised murmurs.

“So this is how he was keeping track of everyone. That’s how he knew who was the killer! He was recording us all the time.” Kiibo-kun was the one that said out loud what everyone was thinking.

Shuichi already knew that it was not true, the monitor had a fixed angle and they could not record, but he was not going to correct them, the opposite.

“Yes… yes this must be it! I recognized this place, it’s here that he kept me prisoner that night but the monitors were off, surely to make sure I would not see anything! Now I see.” he covered part of his face with his hand, both to fake surprise and concentration and to cover a part of his expression, just in case. “Anyway… he is not here right now, and he is not in any of the monitors either… Not to mention that I don’t see anything that can create Monokuma and control the Exisals… I think this place was just an easy hiding spot to use from time to time and a decoy in case we were going to question where his Lab was supposed to be, we are missing the true control room.”

“Maybe this can help.” Kiibo-kun showed the card key that Kokichi left on the desk as a trap.

“Ah!” Shuichi shouted, trying to look surprised. He was probably overdoing a little. “That must be the card key for the library! He showed it to us but then never gave it back! He was once again messing with us! Do you remember what he said? He wanted to study our reactions so he tried to create different scenarios. Surely showing the card key was supposed to get some reaction out of us!” he felt a drop of sweat sliding down the side of his face, he was _that_ nervous.

“What should we do, should we go?” Kiibo-kun asked to Kaito and Harukawa-san.

Kaito was silent, looking conflicted. If Shuichi had to guess he was remembering Akamatsu-san and Amami-kun. It was all because of that door that the first murder happened. They had promised to never repeat that screw up again, immediately after Akamatsu-san’s death. Shuichi at the time promised wholeheartedly. Trust Kokichi to chose that as his final plan so to force him to break his promise. Unfortunately he had to make everyone break it as well. He decided to appeal to Harukawa-san’s desperation so the other were forced to follow as well.

“Hey, do you think that Kokichi had some medicine for Kaito in his control room? He must, right? He created this whole plan, he couldn’t have forgotten something so basic and important.”

Exactly as expected Harukawa-san snatched the card key from Kiibo-kun with her incredible speed. Kaito yelled at her to come back but once again she was already out of the door. Kaito started to limp to chase her and Kiibo-kun hurried to help him. As expected everyone else started to chase the three. Shuichi took a moment before following, releasing all his breath and taking a new one to calm down. He was starting to shake slightly, his blood cold.

They all left the tunnel and walked down the hallway to the basement. He had a feeling of déjà vu of that day with Akamatsu-san. It was the same thing, at almost the same time of the day, and someone was keeping watch in the classroom by the stairs. Not only that, a murder weapon was going to be rolled down a vent and someone, or more accurately everyone, was going to be killed. Really, Kokichi was such an exhibitionist. Replicate the first case to make everyone on the outside flip. Unbelievable.

He lagged behind the group waiting for the right moment to sneak away, much like that day of the treasure hunt. He accompanied then to the library, where Harukawa-san had already opened the moving bookcase, but didn’t pass through the door. He took advantage of the fact that they were all focused on the bookcase to slip away in a hurry. He took the stairs again, two steps at the time, and entered the classroom, eager to see if Kokichi was ready, if his plan was ready.

He smiled when he saw that Kokichi was where he was supposed to, all in one piece and swinging his legs from the desk he was sitting on. He looked like a little kid when he was doing these hind of poses. Kokichi turned toward him calmly and smiled back, tilting his head a little to greet him and maybe to tell him ‘good work’.

“Welcome, Shuichi! Where everything started and everything will end!” he jumped down, turning on his heels doing an half pirouette.

 “Yeah… I’m not sure if I find this ironic or sad.”

He had wished many, many times that he had been able to predict Akamatsu-san’s plan that day… but now he wasn’t even sure it would’ve made any difference. What would’ve happened if nothing had happened before the time limit? Monokuma would’ve really killed them all? He had said that only the people that were forced to participate would’ve died than what was he supposed to make out of that? If they really had signed a contract to play, then? Oh maybe… maybe that was _exactly_ the point. Monokuma would’ve a good excuse to _not_ execute them all, simply because _none_ of them were forced. What a sneaky little trick. In any situation he would’ve been covered, impressive honestly.

“Well, there is no time to talk philosophy right now, I’m sure your friends will notice your absence anytime now, if they haven’t yet.”

Yeah, Harukawa-san was already opening the bookcase, surely by now they had already realized that the card was not working. They really needed to move.

While he was considering how much time they had Kokichi bended down toward the vent. He looked in that direction and saw a brown glass bottle placed on the floor, near the vent that now didn’t have the grate. Was that there before? What about the grate? Kokichi’s hand was about to touch it when the cap disappeared, the bottle fell back and rolled down into the vent quickly disappearing from view.

_Wow, it moved on its own._

Shuichi realized that he was staring at it with his mouth open when Kokichi touched his hand, forcing him to return to reality. It _was a virtual reality!_ Bottles wouldn’t move on their own in the real world, Shuichi was pretty sure. His mind was filled with stuff like gravity and laws of physic, unless that was all made up in his mind as well there was no mistaking it.

In the meantime Kokichi was playing around with his hand. He was completely relaxed and uncaring. Well, the bottle was rolling down so unless they had already left the library surely the trick was set already. He felt a sting of discomfort at the thought his friends were dying of poison a floor below him. And because of them. Kokichi snapped him out of his thoughts again by intertwining his fingers and tugging on his hand, he was grinning. Shuichi mentally sighed to release some tension and pull his mind as far from these thoughts as possible.

“Do you fancy a drink my Romeo-chan?” Kokichi asked him.

“You know, I started to wonder this some time ago. If I’m Romeo does that mean you are Juliet?” yes, he was being mean, no, he didn’t care very much.

Kokichi stared at him with narrowed eyes.

“Does that mean that you’d rather go ahead alone? Should I force the drink down your throat?” 

“Hey, not fair! I remember you saying that I would make a good wife. Now I can’t ask if you are my Juliet?” yes, he was still a hung up on that, he never forgot that Kokichi called him wife, he was determinate to make him change his mind. No offence for any wife at all, but he wanted to be seen as a reliable partner.

“ _’Oh, Romeo, my Romeo, why are you my Romeo?’_ ” Kokichi recited the famous line.

Shuichi tried to hold it but he could not help it, Kokichi’s lack of enthusiasm and flat delivery made him laugh. At least he was the type to never take a comment as offensive, he was always trying to fight back with the same amount of sarcasm. Kokichi’s lips twitched and in seconds he was laughing as well, it was such a  good sound.

“I’ll see you on the other side… right?” Shuichi asked.

“Of course, see you there!”

They reached for the cups that Kokichi had prepared, it contained a transparent liquid that could be confused with water but Shuichi felt a shiver of fear. How would feel to die? No, better no to think about that, he would lose courage immediately, he could not afford that. He took a deep breath and followed Kokichi’s example, he swallowed the transparent liquid. Immediately after the substance touched his tongue he had a gag reflex, it was probably the worst thing he had ever drunk.  Both him and Kokichi stuck their tongue out and tried to breathe some fresh air.

“BLEAH!” Kokichi shook his head in complete disgust.

After blinking a couple times he fixed his gaze on him and slowly grinned. Shuichi had almost the instinct to take a step back. Even though he now knew Kokichi and trusted him _that grin_ was still pretty scary, it was the announcement of mischief to come. He raised himself on his tiptoes, to get closer to Shuichi’s height, and with that grin still into place he got closer and closer.

What was he planning to do…?

Suddenly, fast like a snake biting his pray he gave a quickly lick to Shuichi’s bottom lip. Shuichi recoiled at the sudden and not completely welcome wet sensation, he took a step back and swept his mouth with his sleeve.

 “Kokichi! Until the very end, you really cannot stop being so absurd, don’t just lick me out of the blue like that I—“

Kokichi fell down so suddenly Shuichi’s heart completely stopped. He knew it was coming sooner or later but he discovered in that moment that he was not prepared. His body moved on its own grabbing him before he could hit the floor. His knees hit the floor painfully but he didn’t even notice, Kokichi’s limp body in his arms. His head rolled back without any resistance. He had his mouth opened a little, his eyes closed. Shuichi had just two seconds to fell into panic, thinking that maybe, maybe Kokichi exchanged his drink, maybe he hadn’t drink poison, maybe he was the only one that would survive, maybe he had leaved him behind, maybe he had abandoned him there, maybe he would never see him again, maybe…

It was a blessing that he wasn’t allowed to think any further.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You received a mail:
> 
> Hi!! Everyone's favorite Supreme Leader here!!  
> My boyfriend, Shuichi-chan, is so precious, isn't he? Hm? Why?  
> You haven't noticed? Wow, you are so clumsy!!  
> You haven't seen his secret message, hidden for me?  
> Hmmm... hey, hey, do you need a hint?!  
> Why don't you try to take a look at the titles?   
> Have you found it?!   
> Isn't he just the best?! So cheesy though...  
> Hm? My answer? Hmmmmmmmm   
> I wonder about that as well. 
> 
> Well! This is all from me!   
> Bye bye, see you soon!


End file.
